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Attachment Parenting
strangebird
member
A random question for APers . . .
strangebird
member
I see the "Must Have Baby Gear" lists that most new moms and every baby gear website and magazine come up with and they all feature similar things . . . most of which, my husband and I feel are totally unnecessary. My niece is two-and-a-half and has never had a walker, swing, high chair, or bouncer. Honestly, I'm not even certain she has a stroller. My nephew is three and has all of the above plus gads of other bulky items like an exersaucer and two pack'n'plays.
As APers, what are your must-have items? Do they differ as much as I expect from the typical lists? We don't have a baby yet, but we're beginning the process of adopting and I feel a tremendous need to wrap up the loose ends around our house--like finishing the nursery and baby shopping. I have the time, we have the money, what should I buy? We will babywear, cloth diaper, and breastfeed (hopefully even if we do adopt), will probably cosleep at first, but we'll have a bassinet in the bedroom. Any must-haves?
Disclaimer: Please don't think I'm crazy, I'm a very "Type-A" kind of person: ) And I research everything.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: A random question for APers . . .
PNP was a necessity for us because we bedshared part time, but he also slept in the PNP next to our bed for the first 6 months.
Moby wrap for the first 6 months, then we got an Ergo and love it.
We used the bouncy chair for times when I had to put him down to shower or cook, but never used a swing since he hated it.
Boppy - I used every time I nursed for 6 months or so.
And he loved his jumperoo once he was old enough for it. It gave me about 20 minutes 2 or 3 times a day to get a few things done, and he went nuts for it. Maybe not a necessity, but I'm glad we had it since he enjoyed it so much.
I would skip the bouncer and stroller, I have a bouncer and rarely use it.
I am so glad I got a swing! DD loves the motion and it gives me a place to put her when I have to make dinner, take a shower, or just need a few minutes of alone time.
A high chair might not be the worst idea for when baby decides they don't want to sit still while trying to feed them.
My must haves are a Boppy, a good wrap/mei tai/ carrier and a comfy highchair. DS plays, eats and does crafts in his highchair.
I think a PnP was a waste. We have yet to use it. We brought it when we went to The Falls last month and DS co-slept with us instead.
He liked the swing for the first few months and then it found it's home in the garage.
We're looking to adopt an infant; we started the process in February and in the meantime got pregnant and had a miscarriage, further confirming that adoption might be the best option for us.
We will get a stroller (actually two, since DH has said he wants a jogger), we already have a bassinet and a moses basket/stand. I was debating on the high chair, so maybe we'll wait on that and get one later. I would buy a bouncer, swing, etc., but I'm somehow convinced we'll never use them.
And I had no idea there was a such thing as a shower wrap; we'll definitely have to look into that.
between my two boys it was crazy the differences.
DS1: PNP, swing and exersaucer were must haves! he wanted to be on his own-never like being worn or held.
DS2: a sling and his bouncy chair is all we need.
What i normaaly say is hold off on buying big ticket things like swings, jumpers and such till you see what your baby is like.
I think everyone should have a PnP and a bouncy chair. the rest is up to them.
I love baby wearing, but have back issues and a heavy kid, so I wouldn't survive without a stroller. I need to be able to move him back and forth between both. Lately the heat has been UNBEARABLE and DS has been spending most of our outings in the stroller--It's just too hot to have such close contact outside.
I STILL use the Boppy to BF, I would have a very sore back without it.
DS never really liked his swing, but it was a hand me down, so we didn't put out any money for it. We're happy we have it because our next kid might love it, who knows?
He stayed in the bouncy seat for maybe ten minutes at a time.
We pretty much used the PnP as a change table for the first 4 months. The plan was to have him sleep in it by our bed (we got one with a newborn napper that held up to 30 lbs) once he outgrew the bassinet, but it's so uncomfortable that he could never fall asleep in there. So he went from the bassinet to sleeping in bed with us, and now we have a crib side-carred for him. We never used the PnP for anything besides the change table, and if we're travelling, we'll bedshare.
A high chair is a must for us, its the only way that DS will sit still long enough to eat. He's very squirmy, and when we tried to eat with him on our laps he would grab our plates/glasses/utensils, etc and spill things.
DS hated his baby tub, he would always scream bloody murder in it. He preferred to take a bath with DH or I.
I think we have a lot in common. I did tons of research on baby stuff before getting pregnant and didn't want to have too much stuff. I also have a border collie mix...are those borders in your siggy pics? My LO is still pretty small, so I don't have as much experience as the other ladies, but here are my reviews. We have some of the traditional stuff, but I tried to get things that were multipurpose or longlasting.
For our carseat we got the Evenflo Symphony 65 because it is the first/only carseat that goes from birth through adolescence (j/k, but it goes as long as they require them nowadays, which seems like right before driver's license age!). I have always complained about people who never take their little kids out of those carrier seats, so I didn't get one. I know the carriers are convenient at times, so it's a personal choice.
We have the Fisher Price Newborn to Toddler rocker. I bought it because it can be used as just a chair later and currently I use it when I'm showering, eating messy/hot food or doing anything where it isn't feasible to hold/wear DS. He loves it and despite my hatred for clutter I bought a second so I don't have to carry it up and down the stairs.
I also have a full sized playpen (boo, hiss!) in my living room so I can set DS in his rocking chair when the dog is out and about so I can do stuff in the kitchen. The dog is fine with him, but licks DS's face when he is down low and is excitable if he hears something outside or the doorbell rings (or anything sounds remotely like a doorbell) and you just never know. I think this will be used more as DS becomes mobile so that the dog doesn't have to always be locked in a separate area when DS is not in arms/being worn (he gets jealous and pees on the carpet when he gets left alone too much) but we may have to figure out something else. Since I see you have dogs this is something to consider.
I also have a stroller that I haven't used much yet. I'd say if you are registering you could register for one so you don't have to buy it, but you could always get a cheap umbrella stroller later. Mine is a Joovy Kooper which is moderately expensive but combines almost umbrella fold-ability with bigger stroller stuff-hold-abliity. The few times I have used it were shopping and I would wear DS, set him in the stroller if I needed to try on and then put my bags in the stroller after I bought things. I plan to use this mainly for long outings when DS is older when he gets too heavy to wear a lot (he is 11 weeks and already 16 lbs) and when I have more than one child.
As far as strictly AP stuff I'd say if you don't want to have to do lots of last minute laundry, I'd say you need a good waterproof mattress pad and at least one set of extra sheets if you bedshare because there will be poop, pee, spit up and milk leakage and at least 2 slings/carriers/wraps for the same reasons (minus milk leakage--probably).
That's a lot, but hope it helps!
I think a lot of this is dependent on your lifestyle your philosophies on parenting and the preferences of your baby.
My LO does not have a bouncer, jumper, exersaucer etc. Nor does she have a "play gym" to lie under. She has a mat and handful of toys. But she is a very relaxed baby who is happy to independently hang out by her self and play with her hands. Some babies get really fussy in those kids of conditions.
We have a pram because I like to walk her to the local shops and library and not have to carry her, plus books, plus food. It gives me exercise and an outing out of the house.
We have a woven wrap because I like to be able to carry her and have the weight well dsitributed and have all the different options a wrap gives me.
We have a pouch sling, which I love for just dashing into a shop and not having to tie the wrap or unload the pram.
I'm HUGE believer that for generations babies have coped without all the modern paraphernalia and that babies will not be smarter, better adjusted or walk faster because you buy them "stuff".
babies NEED clothes, nappies, somewhere to sleep, carseat. Everything else is personal choice.
ETA I'm opposed to things like jumpers because I think they are bad for baby's development. They're fine if you only use them for small amounts each day, but I didn't have the money or space for something that would only be used sparingly.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
We got a lot of 'contraptions'...some we used, some we didn't.
Swing: Could not have lived without this. Literally. I would have married the thing if I could have in the first three months.
Bouncy seat: Used it like twice. She screamed both times.
Stroller: Used it quite a bit in the beginning (it was redonkulously hot Sydney summer and I only had a moby, which is like wearing thermal blanket), but since we started woven wrapping a lot at around 3 or 4 months, we haven't used it once. We do have a BOB stroller that we use daily for running, however.
Bassinet: We cosleep for the most part, but on hot nights in the beginning, the bassinet was our savior. I didn't spend a lot on it though, and I'm glad since she grew out of it at 4 months.
PnP: We used it for one trip across the country when she was 8 weeks. It now lives at my ILs for naps when we are over there, so it's been worth it for that alone.
Jumperoo: This was a gift from the ILs, and she is literally obsessed with it. Squeals with delight every time she's in the thing. For that reason alone, I love it
Baby bath: We use this every single night for her bath and still do. I like bathing her in the kitchen so I don't have to bend over the huge tub. We can both interact with DH as well.
I think that's it, for the most part
PnP is a must for us... we bedshare part time (from her first waking on) and have since birth. She slept directly beside the bed at first, and now sleeps about 6 feet away, still in her PnP. We have Baby Trend's Gabriella which has an AWESOME co-sleeper feature.
Bouncy is a big plus for us... it helped her in the early weeks/months when I had an undiagnosed oversupply and she was FUSS city when she needed to poop. I could miracle blanket her, stick her in, and bounce and she'd calm. We called it the poopy chair.
Swing was nice, but I wouldn't buy one new if I bought one. They get SO little use, and are so expensive.
Mei Tai is my newborn carrier of choice, but I've never tried a Moby with a newborn. I love my DIY wovens, and would LOVE a real one. Ergo doesn't work well with my body type, Beco does. I recommend trying on whatever carrier you buy WITH a baby, for more than 2 minutes (thats what I did with the Ergo).
I have a list of my baby must haves, and baby don't bothers on my blog.
I noticed you were questioning a high chair. I didn't think I would really use one when I was pregnant, but registered for one just in case. We have used it every day since she was about 3-4 months old. It had an amazing recline position so she would be in the kitchen and watch while I cooked/cleaned. It also goes up/down and wheels around. I'm so glad we registered for it!
Bouncy chair - used for showering for the first few months
Boppy - loved for nursing, then for sitting her up
Stroller - love it!
Arm's reach co-sleeper - used in our room until she was 6 months
Playard - use to travel to family
Swing - we didn;t use a lot at first, but now I use it everyday for when I shower (after she outgrew the bouncy seat)
And more. Babies have so much stuff but we do actually use it.
I'd say a good carrier (probably more than one since they are good for different things) is a must have. A highchair is a must but I'd suggest getting one that becomes a toddler chair and then a youth chair as they are smaller and you'll use them much longer.
We had a co-sleeper but could have done without (could have skipped the crib too). However, I would suggest having somewhere that you can let a small baby sleep safely without you. Even if you co-sleep, you aren't going to want to put baby in your bed alone before you go to sleep (you may want something else for when baby outgrows the bassinet - maybe a co-sleeper would be a better choice as I think you can use it longer and turn it into a pack and play as well).
I think it's nice to have either a bouncer or a travel sized swing. If nothing else, it's a way for you to take a shower when you are home alone! The jumparoo served that function for us when kiddo was past 5 months - but I don't think it's a must have, just a nice to have.
I have a BOB stroller for running but I don't use a stroller otherwise. I'd say that's a wait and see so you know what your needs are, especially if you plan to babywear most of the time.
I totally did the same "researching" pre-pregnancy so I don't think you're nuts ;-)
Breastfeeding Counselor with Breastfeeding USA
Babywearing Guide ** Newborn Carriers
Cloth Diaper Guide
Safe Bed Sharing Info
Yep. The two black and whites are Border Collies; the tricolor on the right is an Aussie. They're my babies--I'd carry them around in slings if I could: ) Well . . . maybe not, but I would push them in strollers if they'd sit still.
And I think you're right, we do have a lot in common--I've been complaining about infant carseats for years; I don't understand them at all. Maybe I'll change my tune someday, but for now, I'm staunchly opposed.
The Moby for the first 3 months (especially for my winter baby!) and a woven after that.
The bouncy seat - when he was younger, I used it while I was in the shower, and now, I pop him in it when I'm fixing myself something to eat in the kitchen.
Exersaucer - I only use it when I'm showering and he's awake. For that alone, it's worth it.
I got mine for cheap off of craigslist.
Boppy - I use it every. single. time. I nurse. Plus I used it to prop him up before he could sit up and even now that he does sit on his own, I often have it behind him just in case he flings himself backwards.
Stroller - I baby wear all the time, but the stroller still comes in handy. We go on morning walks and I like to use the stroller rather than the woven then, plus for some kinds of shopping (like if I'm trying on clothes) the stroller is easier than the wrap.
Honestly, a lot just depends on your child. For example, DS didn't really like the swing but I found a bouncer chair to be an absolute MUST. But funny enough the doorway bouncer wasn't that big of a hit. He loved the ARCS but all but refused to sleep in a crib and would NEVER sleep in a PnP.
We got A LOT of that stuff as shower gifts or second-hand. And if you're purchasing it for yourself, I would recommend getting things second hand. You never know what your kid will like and unless you can borrow from a friend the only way you'll find out is if you try.
And I don't really understand how you can safely feed a chid w/o a chair of some kind, so I wouldn't go w/o one. Are you sure she never had a high chair?
boppy (the one thing i wished i had in the hospital, even)
moby/woven
high chair
we have a stroller, too, but we definitely wear him more.
oh - and the fuzzibunz wetbag is the best. the bottom zips open so everything just falls into the washer without a lot of hassle....unlike every other one we own.
Yay for Border Collies!
And as far as the infant carrier seats...they have their good points, like if the baby falls asleep you don't have to wake him up to get him out of the car, but people overuse them. I always complained about them to DH long before we had DS. Seriously, babies are much more portable than car seats! They can end up being one of those things that can make life more complicated than it needs to be. Sometimes it would be convenient to have one, but I made a conscious decision not to get one. You'll just have to see what works. If you get something like the Symphony or another convertible and decide you want an infant seat you can put the convertible aside for later. I have given in to other things I was opposed to pre-baby...mainly the pacifier.
The swing has been a must-have. DS loved it and DD loves it. We only use the bouncy seat when I'm taking a shower if DD is awake since I can have it in the bathroom (I try to when she's sleeping but it doesn't always work). We have an exersaucer, and I only put her in it if I need a moment with my hands/body completely free.
I have a stroller but I don't use it for her (sometimes for my 3 year old DS if we are doing a lot of walking and it holds the diaper bag and anything else). She's never sat in the stroller!
Do you think you might have or adopt another child? I have a 3 year old, and I find that sometimes I just have to put DD down so I can tend to my 3 year old. In this case, it's nice to have some of these things, but I/we definitely hold/wear DD more often than not.
We used the PNP for the first 4 months while DS slept in our room. Then we took out the bassinet part and DS sleeps in there when it's too hot (since we only have A/C in our room).
I really liked having a swing. Sometimes it was the only thing that would get DS to nap, but I'm not sure if I would have used it as much if I had really gotten into babywearing earlier.
I started using the Moby in the first month, but pretty infrequently, about once or twice a week. I wish I had used it more, and I found it great for newborn snuggles. You'll need something more supportive as LO gets bigger though.
For high chair, I would recommend the Fisher Price 3 in 1 (I think that's what it's called) which is just a seat that straps onto the back and bottom of a regular dining chair. My aunt and uncle got it for us because they used it constantly with their kids for going out to eat, but we actually use it almost exclusively in our house even though we have a regular high chair too. I like that it puts DS at our level like he's just having a meal with the family and even though we're just starting food I think he's getting used to the idea of a "family meal"
The bouncer/exersaucer is good for just getting 15 minutes to do something where you can't hold or wear LO. I'm glad we have it.
I didn't even know what AP was until after DS was born, so we had either purchased or been given a pnp, a bouncy, a swing, a high chair, a Snap n Go stroller (that his infant carseat snaps into), a large stroller (for when he outgrows his infant carseat), an Exersaucer, and a Gymini playmat. My mom, who watches DS while I work, also has a pnp and a bouncy chair.
We do a combination of cosleeping and bedsharing - DS starts out the night in his pnp in our bedroom, and whenever he wakes up I bring him into bed with us. I never wanted to leave him alone in our bed, and now that he's started rolling over safety is a huge concern, so the pnp keeps him safe. He goes to bed around 8:30 every night, and we don't go to bed until hours later, so this arrangement works perfectly for us. My mom mostly uses her pnp for a changing table, but occasionally we'll be hanging out over there and it'll be DS' bedtime, so he'll go to bed in her pnp until we go home. It's worked out really well.
DS will only sit in his bouncy for a few minutes now, but we used it a lot when he was a newborn because he slept for hours on end and it allowed me to shower, clean, etc. On the other hand, he naps in his bouncy seat at my mom's house (it's a different brand) and seems to be more comfortable in hers, so I'm glad she has one too.
I wear DS if I'm moving around, but if I'm stationary he doesn't like to be worn as much, so he naps in his swing every day. He really likes it and sleeps well in it.
We haven't started to use the high chair, as DS will be turning 6 months old on the 20th so we haven't started food yet, but I imagine we'll use it. Babies are messy, and we have carpet in our dining room but tile in our kitchen, so I'll probably have the high chair in our kitchen so if food is spilled it's easy to clean up.
DS is just starting to use his Exersaucer, but he likes it for 10-15 minutes once or twice a day. He loves his Gymini playmat...plays with the hanging toys and loves to kick his legs against the noisemaking mirrored part.
We use his infant carseat/Snap n Go stroller combination if he's asleep, otherwise we mostly use carriers. My favorite is my Babyhawk Mai Tei, and DS uses an Ergo that he really likes. We have never used the larger stroller, and I'm not sure that we will. It's the one thing I kind of wish we hadn't gotten, but hindsight is 20/20.
This is long, but hopefully it helps!