Enter: if you've had a drink during pregnancy

fatima5968 · July 2010

Does this sound familiar:

"OH! You're having a drink...?" "Is it safe/ok to drink when you're pregnant?"

Among the MANY obnoxious, intrusive things I"ve learned that people say to you when you're pregnant...I want to respond to this one with:

"No, it's NOT SAFE, it's horribly toxic to slowly sip half a glass of wine one I"m full-term, my doctor strictly prohibits it, but I don't care about anyone other than myself!!!"

AHhhh- what's wrong with people. I've had 3 half-glasses this whole pregnancy. Why doe people think it's appropriate to comment on my life and what is dearest to me, my baby!?

kellielea79 · July 2010

Luckily the few times I've had a drink all my friends have actually been supportive and say that they full on agree that a small drink every now and then later in pregnancy is safe. That would totally annoy me to have those kind of negative comments. If any of my friends have thought them they haven't spoken up which is good!

SarahC720 · July 2010

That's annoying.

I had a bottle and a half of red wine before I knew I was pregnant (it was a xmas party and I had just finished taking a horribly hard final - don't judge). We were not trying to get pregnant, so I didn't think anything of drinking. When I told the doctor/midwives office, they told me it was fine and nothing at all to worry about.

People will have their opinions.

EMWindy · July 2010

Yes, that does sound familar! I try to only have a little wine at home so I don't hear about it from other people. It's my choice, and my OB is OK with a little bit later in pregnancy.

And then...you have my boss - I guess you could call him the other end of the pregnancy-drinking spectrum. I went out with him once after work for 'drinks' - to talk work, etc. I was planned on having a small glass of wine, and he ordered me a giant margarita. I quickly corrected him to the waitress. Sheesh.

fatima5968 · July 2010

EMWindy:

Yes, that does sound familar! I try to only have a little wine at home so I don't hear about it from other people. It's my choice, and my OB is OK with a little bit later in pregnancy.

And then...you have my boss - I guess you could call him the other end of the pregnancy-drinking spectrum. I went out with him once after work for 'drinks' - to talk work, etc. I was planned on having a small glass of wine, and he ordered me a giant margarita. I quickly corrected him to the waitress. Sheesh.

LOL! Love it

JhawkCE · July 2010

Honestly, it's something you have to expect if you're going to do it in front of people.

My friend bought a pop the other day at the store and the cashier lectured her about that...I mean actually lectured her about it.

I told her she should have said "Oh, wow! I didn't realize Target started manning the cash registers with M.D.'s!"

Mrs.Handy · July 2010

I've had a few glasses of wine throughout my entire pregnancy, all in the privacy of my own home with only DH around. I don't really advertise to this people unless they ask. I don't need judgmental stares or statements from people, so I just keep it as my business.

Most people though say that it is fine and don't really care.

mrs.g_6708 · July 2010

Oh my MIL asked me should I be cooking with wine! Yes, MIL, the 1/4 c. of cabernet I put in the spaghetti sauce will most definately cause the baby to have 2 heads.

SparkleK · July 2010

My friends are constantly trying to talk me into "half a beer" or "just a small glass of wine" but then think I'm doing something horribly wrong for going for a run or going to the gym. You can't win!

snansley · July 2010

Eh, I just add it to the list of things that people have an opinion about, right up there with deli meat, soft cheese, drugs during labor, breastfeeding, diapering, vaccinations, daycare, the list goes on.

fatima5968 · July 2010

katorigasuki · July 2010

this is why if i do have a half of a drink, i don't do it in public.

EuroChick · July 2010

I live in Europe no one says anything...

McKenna04 · July 2010

I'm not opposed to the occasional glass of wine.. but sadly im not a fan of wine. I have had a few sips of beer here and there. Ive actually had cravings for it as early as 6 in the morning one day!! I was quite the drinker pre-preg. I'm looking forward to having the tallest beer in the world in a big frosty glass YUMMM

kerrerin · July 2010

katorigasuki:
this is why if i do have a half of a drink, i don't do it in public.

this...I went to an event and ordered a virgin caesar but because it comes in a cocktail glass I got plenty of evil looks from the women...I agree with OP's that you just can't win.

lbankovi · July 2010

the picture of pregnant woman drinking wine is great!

really no additional comment than what others have said - just dont feel guilty - its ok to indulge a bit.

When I was having a breakdown in the beginning of my pregnancy about what to eat/drink etc - my mom said to me - "31 years ago - all this mumbo jumbo about lunchmeat & caffiene and no alcohol was not known. Do you think that i didnt have drinks and smoke a few cigarettes when I was pregnant with you? And look how you turned out!"

Now her motive was not to give me the green light to put back a bottle of wine a night or to smoke (at all) - but her point was that many women participated in (now) taboo behaviors for years and had babies and they all turned out fine. Dont let it get to you too bad.

mexicolombiana · July 2010

EuroChick:
I live in Europe no one says anything...

LUCKY!

yeah it's pretty ridiculous here. I've drank very little during this pregnancy but the few times I have it's like 1/2 a glass or less of red wine or a few sips of my DH's beer or something.

The other day at a party I was talking about drinking during pregnancy and commented about how I didn't think it was a big deal to have a little beer or something in a cup at this stage in my pregnancy, and this one girl turned around and said "OMG you're not going to actually drink beer here today are you?" I actually wasn't thinking of drinking anything at all that night, but I swear I was going to take a few big sips to piss her off.

Bink720 · July 2010

JhawkCE:
Honestly, it's something you have to expect if you're going to do it in front of people.
My friend bought a pop the other day at the store and the cashier lectured her about that...I mean actually lectured her about it.
I told her she should have said "Oh, wow! I didn't realize Target started manning the cash registers with M.D.'s!"

This! DH and I were on our way to a bbq and wanted to make sure there was something for me to drink there so we stopped and got a thing of sprite. The cashier actually started lecturing us and telling us how she couldn't believe i'd still drink soda while pregnant. I also get stopped when we eat dinner in bars and lots of dirty looks. One waitress actually came up to start lecturing us about what I thought I was doing, and I was sitting there eating dinner drinking a shirley temple. Every time we go out in public together dh is amazed. He keeps asking me if it's always like this, all the people staring and judging. i think it gets to him more lately than it does me.

rachelnleo · July 2010

My biggest anti-alcohol critic is DH!!!!!!!!! So I just pour him a beer in a big frosty mug, take a huge sip of it while hiding in the kitchen, and then serve it to him in the living room. That ice cold beer in this Miami summer heat is wonderful and he is none the wiser......... typical man!

rachelnleo · July 2010

mrs.g_6708:
Oh my MIL asked me should I be cooking with wine! Yes, MIL, the 1/4 c. of cabernet I put in the spaghetti sauce will most definately cause the baby to have 2 heads.

This is awesome!!! If your baby has two heads then mine will have six arms.

nycweddinggal · July 2010

I've had a few sips of DH's drinks and half-glasses out every now and then....No comments from strangers (fortunately). I did order an iced coffee at Borders a few weeks ago and the clerk looked at my belly and said "decaf?" and I firmly said "nope regular, just like I asked for." It was very, very annoying.

kemeshiwar · July 2010

I've actually had the opposite problem. Several people have offered me a drink and when I've politely declined, they've given me a hard time about it. They say things like "You're so a newbie mom. A little drink is not going to hurt you baby."

I think I get it worse because I was a pretty frequent drinker before I got pregnant. It's like they all assume that I'm just DYING for a drink. Honestly, I'm fine with waiting, and I don't like to drink when it's hot out anyway!

Randy'sgirl52409 · July 2010

nycweddinggal:
I've had a few sips of DH's drinks and half-glasses out every now and then....No comments from strangers (fortunately). I did order an iced coffee at Borders a few weeks ago and the clerk looked at my belly and said "decaf?" and I firmly said "nope regular, just like I asked for." It was very, very annoying.

I went to lunch with a freind yesterday and before heading back to her house told her I was stopping at Dunkin Donuts for an iced coffee in this sweltering new england heatwave.... she quickly piped in "oh I have decaf and skim milk a the house"... really? She is of the type to follow all the "rules" so thinks it's inappropriate for me to drink "high test" as she calls it... boo on her! I told her no thank you, that high test is all I drink and I would be to her house in a few minutes. My delicious iced coofee was the best and I am SURE my limited coffee habit will not cause my daughter to have adverse side effects....

I too have had a few small glasses of red wine in my third trimester. DH is ok with this and I indulge only at home. I feel it's perfectly fine. My MIL doens't however she smoked heavily throughout her entire pregnancy with DH. He turned out fine.... I think my 12 total ounces of red wine will NOT make my LO an alcoholic! I wish people would put a sock in it!

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