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2nd Trimester
equal face time with baby
I am due a couple of weeks before thanksgiving. Both DH and I have family traditions which is great but I would like to start are own and his version on that is do our own plus go to my parents and his parents.
What I am most concerned about is i want to spend time with my newborn by myself (and with hubby of course) but the way everyone has set it up my mom and hubby with be home with me right after DS is born and then we will have thanksgiving with both families. I want to get some face time with my baby but i dont know how thats possible with telling people we dont want to go over there for thanksgiving
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Re: equal face time with baby
I have been wondering the same thing. I am due November 13th, and I'm sure both families will be angry if we don't show up to show off the baby. My family is in St. Louis, MO, and his family is all local,which makes it difficult anyways. But we might also want to spend time just us, getting to know our daughter. On top of that, I will still be recovering from labor, I assume, so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here, as well.
Well...I did this:
My mom said that during Thanksgiving she will get to hold the baby the whole time and I just said right back, "Do your boobs produce milk?"
There is more than one advantage to breast feeding. No one else can do it. I know we'll add in a bottle eventually, but not at 2 weeks.
Ha.
If I find myself overwhelmed at the holiday, I am going to just excuse myself and shut myself up in my room to "breastfeed" (whether it's time or not)
Same boat - I'm due right before Thanksgiving. My family (5 hours away) doesn't celebrate that but DH's family (30 minutes away) makes a huge fuss over turkey day. We've already told them that we more than likely won't be there celebrating this year. They're welcome to come to our house, provided they do the cooking and cleaning!
We also told the families that while we love them, Christmas Day will be at our house. They are all welcome to celebrate with us but its not feasible to take a newborn anywhere.
DH has had this conversation with both sets of parents and while neither was thrilled, they understood. I think by us defining it now, we'll save a lot of headache. I know everyone wants baby time but the logistics and the physical aspects will likely make t-day unrealistic.
Is there any way you can just limit your visits with your families? Maybe stay 1/2 the time that you normally would so you get plenty of time at home with your new family? It's hard the first few weeks with everyone wanting to see the new baby.
Right after DD was born, my mom was there for a week, then my MIL, Step-FIL, SIL and her baby and BIL all came to visit for the weekend. And then the next weekend FIL and his trashy girlfriend came to visit for the weekend, and the day they left my sister and her kids came to visit for a few days. It was insane!!!!! And that was without holidays thrown in the mix.
This year we will be dealing with all of that plus going to Thanksgiving. I'm not sure how we will swing it.
We are due right around Thanksgiving and have basically told everyone that they are welcome at our house for the holiday, but to expect that they will be doing the cooking/cleaning of the meal.
As for Christmas, my DHs father basically told us that we are NOT allowed to travel with a 1 month old in the middle of winter, with potential bad roads and weather. LOL! DH and I have decided that we will tell family they are welcome at our house for Christmas, but we will probably not do any traveling. However, if the weather is good, we will go to his grandpa's house for Christmas Eve, as he is not doing well, and DH would like to take the baby to visit.
As much as it pains me to think I may NOT be spending holidays with family this year, we have decided that this is the time to start OUR family traditions, and do what is best for our family, and our families can accommodate us.
I just read your post, and after reading your concern about driving on the roads in the winter, I had to look where you live. We are in Des Moines as well, and I put in my prior post how I am concerned about winter travel this year. Iowa roads in the winter suck. : )
It also takes some time for the little ones to develop their immune system, so if you have a larger family (I don't know if you could get away with this if it's just 3 adults, for example) you can explain that the baby needs some time to get a stronger immune system before you feel comfortable going out and about with them.
I'm also having anxiety about sharing the baby, and getting everywhere we 'need' to be, but haven't found any brilliant solutions yet
It's time to start doing what you want to/need to do.
Our baby is due 11/12 and we have decided to only go to one Thanksgiving this year. Normally we do a 1:00 for lunch and then a 6:00 for dinner. We are only going to the 1:00. It is silly to say all or none, we don't want to be sitting at home sad on Thanksgiving but we also don't want to be out all night or driving all over the world. My ILs are just going to have to suck it up this year.
wurd.
I'll have to lock the door as MIL walked into SIL/BIL's SHUT bedroom door because she wanted to help change a diaper.
EDIT: However, DH and I are calling the shots. People are not coming over unless they are invited over. Same goes for us going to anyones house. We've already stated that we are not doing T-day