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3rd Trimester
NewlyWeds13
member
My beleifs about "birth" changed from these boards and now
NewlyWeds13
member
I find they are changing again... I have posted before about my severe anxiety about the thought of the baby being stillborn. I have no increased risk, but I just can not get it out of my mind. I will be 40 weeks in a few days. My bishop's score is very favorable (ie- am 90% effaced, 3 dialated, baby in -1 station) already. These boards singularly made me fear inductions.... yet IRL pretty much every person I know has had one between 40 weeks 1 day and 41 weeks 3 days... and 90% did not have c-sections as a result. I also don't know people whose doctor's allow optional inductions prior to 40 weeks (but I guess that happens, just don't know of it IRL). I thought about why I was so scared of having one and I why I now beleived that holding out until 42 weeks 3 days was some sort of badge of honor and made me a better and more natural mother. Well... I realized I was trying to prove that I could do it. I have thankfully had a super easy pregnancy physically. Honestly I have no issues with being pregnant more for me. I just can not hardly take teh emotional strain and don't know if I could ever forgive myself if he was stillborn due to me wanting to wait. Do I want a c-section... no. But if the choice was dead baby or c-section... it is not choice, obviously I would take 100x infinity c-sections over even a remote chance of a still birth. I wanted to post because there are usually such strong positions about inductions and how they are vilified and made out to be weak people who are selfish (at least that is how I read them and maybe I just interpret that way) and I just wanted to point out that there are different opinions and to hopefully post an alternative viewpoint in case there is someone else out there who feels this way and feels alone or bad for thinking this way. I have talked to my IRL friends and they have made me realize that there is nothing wrong with potentially having an induction at 41 weeks (which is what I am thinking right now as a good balance between hopefully allowing baby to be ready and my emotional well being of not constantly worrying about still birth beyond that). Anyways, this is not meant to offend anyone or propose that my beleifs or feelings are good or better or anything than anyone else, I just wanted to post in case it was helpful for anyone else.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My beleifs about "birth" changed from these boards and now
I'm with you, girl. The guilt trips are phenomenal. I went from my childbirth class last night (where they scared the crap out of my husband about epidurals in what -- to my view, looked like a 40s style propaganda film -- so unfair and misleading and unbalanced!) to my doctor's office today where she sat down and gave me hard numbers about epidurals, inductions, pitocin, c-section rates, and everything else.
Bottom line is there's a LOT of misinformation out there, and it's astounding how many folks are more willing to trust some stranger on an internet board or an article they read in a women's magazine over a doctor. If doctors are to blame for anything, it's that they are only publishing their stuff in industry journals read by each other, and NOT in the Washington Post or Pregnancy magazine where the patients can get a more balanced opinion!
I'm with you on your fears, OP. A friend of my sister delivered a still-born baby at 42 weeks, so that's been in the back of my brain this whole time. And I know that it's very uncommon for that to happen, but the fact that it happens at all is quite frightening. So don't feel bad about feeling like that... I do too.
That being said, I had my 38 week appointment this morning and we started talking induction. I told the doctor that we absolutely do not want to go past 41 weeks. My LO has been on the bigger side for several months, so luckily, my doctor had no problem entertaining the idea of an induction.
And I'm going in Monday morning to have him, and I'll be 39w3d. I'm obviously hoping that it doesn't end in a c-section, but I would rather that than go much later than 40 weeks.
So don't worry about the opinions on this board. Most of us have never been through labor, and despite the millions of books out there on the subject, no one knows EVERYTHING. You just do what you think is right for you and your family, because in the end, that's all that matters.
"I'll gladly take cold sores over eye herpes" -ElieFin
"Unicorn glitter gives me UTIs." -Leila'sMommy
Why do people make doctors and the medical field out to be evil? They're typically smarter and definitely more educated than the hippies who use scare tactics to guilt women into the all-natural path.
And why do people take all-natural to mean safe? Arsenic is all-natural, and women used to die in childbirth at alarming rates... I will take the medical advantage, thank you.
Oh, you get two thumbs up for all of the above.
That's always been my position. Just because medical intervention didn't work for you, doesn't mean anything to my situation. And women and babies die (obviously not every time) from the stress of labor with no intervention. No thanks. Get me to a real hospital with a real doctor with real medications.
"I'll gladly take cold sores over eye herpes" -ElieFin
"Unicorn glitter gives me UTIs." -Leila'sMommy
I think there needs to be a balance.
It seems like there are two teams on these boards- the ones who trust medicine vs. the ones who don't. I don't think it needs to be that way.
I plan to deliver in a hospital and go natural. Just b/c I wouldn't consider an epi, does not mean that I will go to the OR kicking and screaming if my baby needs to come out via C-section. It also does not mean that I will refuse an induction if I pass my due date. On the other hand, I am not ready to consider a home birth either.
And, in my heart, I am hoping I am doing what is best for myself and my kid. Isn't that the common goal?
You should read this article.
https://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20100702/home-births-linked-higher-newborn-death-rate
Because all of the doctors in the world are out to kill us all! Right? Maternal death rates and medical interventions do not go hand in hand either. You understand that right? Look at all sides of an issue before spouting off, it will make you sound more educated and more worthy of listening too IMO.
I too watched "The Business of Being Born", but the whole home birth movement seems like such propaganda, at least how they presented it in that particular documentary.
Also, I'm not particularly sold on the idea that it's all the medical interventions in the US that causes the high mortality rate. There's a lot more health issues here than most places that may actually be the leading factor.
"I'll gladly take cold sores over eye herpes" -ElieFin
"Unicorn glitter gives me UTIs." -Leila'sMommy
I don't know HST, but I don't think she's touting home birth. I think she's saying that interventions are overused by some doctors (and I agree) and that we need to be savy consumers of health care and advocate for ourselves. I hope to go natural, but it's because I believe it's best for me. And I'm totally cool with people doing what they want to do--as a random Bumpie I have no right to tell someone what to do with their body or even give my opinion!
But I do agree that it's important for women to do their research and know the risks and benefits of what is being offered because sometimes doctors treat things as "standard" that just don't need to be.And if you look at the mortality rates, there is something wrong with how we're handling the process here. What it is, I don't know--there aren't conclusive data. But it is hard to not look at countries that handle birth more successfully as a model.
I think this is a good point, too. If it were just interventions during birth that caused the high mortality rate, you can bet your bottom dollar we'd already know what interventions cause such risk. These types of factors are being looked at constantly by epidemiologists and researchers in ob/gyn. There is something amiss in the US, but I doubt it's the fact that we give pitocin and epis regularly that kills moms and babies at an alarming rate.
Exactly. You would think that they would have been able to narrow down what is causing all of the deaths by now if it were medical intervention causing all of it. There's only so many medications used, so it should be easy to figure out if that were the case.
"I'll gladly take cold sores over eye herpes" -ElieFin
"Unicorn glitter gives me UTIs." -Leila'sMommy
One HUNDRED percent this!
I certainly don't think that medical professionals are out to cause harm, but I feel that they can be overly cautious for liability reasons.
I'm very glad that I'll have access to a c-section, medications, and inductions if necessary, but I also believe that birth is a natural process that in most cases doesn't need intervention to progress, but OP stated about 90% of her friends have been induced, some hospitals have similar numbers. It does seem a little crazy.
With relatively high intervention, induction, and c-sections the US is not a great leader in maternal and newborn health so it's hard to defend that so much is necessary.
TTC #2 since April 2012
Year 1 - nothing
Year 2 - two m/c
Year 3 - unexplained diagnosis & 4 failed IUIs with Clomid/Letrozole
Year 4 - still unexplained & 3 failed IUIs with Follistim & Ovidral
Year 5 - trying on our own
No she didn't - she stated that of her friends that have been induced, 90% of them delivered vaginally and only 10% of them required a c-section.
She never once stated that 90% of her friends were induced.
I think Europe has a more integrated approach between straight medical and "hippie" styles. My friend gave birth across the pond and she told me they were very much about listening to what her body told her and even let her stand to deliver her baby. Where I'm delivering it's mandatory you're in bed.
It wasn't all or nothing. There are vauable insights from both sides but it's up to an individual to advocate for themselves and decide what they take or leave. For instance I had acupuncture while on fertility treatment, which my RE endorsed. Now 9 months later here I am. Did it help? I think so. But for another person it's hogwash.
And just an aside about doctors publishing in journals, Pregnancy magazine's demographic probably won't read "A Collaborative 5 Year Study on Infant Mortality Based on the Risk Ratio Of Induction Versus Natural Labor After 40 Weeks <1 Day Gestation in Women Ages 22 to 39" when they're looking for "10 Outfits to Make Your Bump Look Cute". I made up that study title, but I look at journal articles a lot at work and they can be very dense in terminology and sound very scary and intimidating (even if you know what you're looking at). That being said, people looking for information need to cast a wide net for information sources and take it from there. If they only pick up Pregnancy magazine, or only go by message boards, I think they're doing themselves a great disservice.They have to be overly cautious (unfortunately). Let me give you an example. You can have a patient with informed consent (e.g. VBAC might lead to uterine rupture). The patient understands the risk and wants the VBAC. Her uterus ruptures and baby dies. Patient sues doctor for malpractice. Now it's up to a jury of non-medical people to determine the fate of the physician's entire career, their finances, etc. Although tort reform helps, it does not take away how lawsuit happy the U.S. has become. No matter how well-informed a patient may be about risks, it doesn't preclude them from going back and suing. Happens all of the time. 1 in 4 doctors in the state of Texas are sued before they leave residency. Until the atmosphere changes...physicians will continue to be more conservative and more cautious because of the liability. Trust me - it's a lose-lose situation.
This.
Well, two things.. three, actually.
1) Obesity and access to healthcare are two HUGE factors in maternal and fetal health. Overweight women have a harder pregnancy and their babies are susceptible to more problems. More than half of the US is obese. This isn't the care in Europe. Also, European nations, for the most part, have socialized medicine. I'm not looking to get into a political debate here, but the fact remains that getting medical intervention, like adequate pre-natal care, shouldn't be a privelage but a right because it's about your life and your child's. The USA has this sicko mentality that only if you work the right type of job do you earn the right to have medical care that can be life-saving. By the time a woman is at the point of giving birth, there's not much that can be done if she and her baby weren't monitored by a doctor previously. It is absolutely not surprising to me one bit that our maternal and fetal mortality rates are as high as they are. But this is the way it's "supposed" to be, right? Go capitalism! A few dead babies is nothing compared to my right to make as much money as I can and take care of my own. That's the take-home message here. Sad.
2. The fear of lawsuits is incapacitating the healthcare industry. It got to the point with me that I demanded my doctor make up freeze-dried food like the astronauts eat that's deemed "safe" because it seems like nothing I encounter in regular day-to-day living is safe. She thought I was kidding. I demanded she tell me the actual truth about everything from hot dogs to sushi, and pretend that I'm smart enough to understand shades of gray. She said techincally, she can't, because if I misunderstand something, and say, I contract listeriosis, I could sue her for confusing me. I wouldn't, but people do. I don't blame her for her attitude. I wouldn't want to risk my career-- all that time and investment-- on someone's grief if life takes an unfortunate turn. Bad things happen. It is the natural order. Forcing a doctor to pay for a freak accident of genetics or godknowswhat is wrong, but the money sure is nice, so tough s%$# on the doctors. They knew what they were getting into, right? Again. Makes me sick.
3. The pregnancy industry is corrupted by what appears to be this idea that women are idiot bubbleheads. Part of this is the old-school misogyny that still permeates most professional fields, from engineering to medicine, but IMO, part of this idea is women's own faults. This idea that giving birth is the highest and best achievement you could possible have ever is kinda sad. All mammals on earth give birth the same way humans do. Our babies aren't much different from elephant babies (elephants also celebrate new babies and mourn stillborns, like we do). The awesome achievement is raising that child to use everything in his/her capacity to become a person because humans are so complex and capable of so many wonderful things. I think, personally, if women could get off this idea that giving birth is their only reason for being, the medical industry could be more realistic about the whole process and we'd get more straight answers. I mean, if someone came to you and said, "This painting I'm about to paint represents everything I ever will live for and if the painting doesn't come out right, I'll never be OK again, ever" how to do tell her she needs canvas, not tissue paper to paint what she wants? You can't be blunt or direct or factual with someone who hangs all of their self-esteem and life goals on this one thing. If we could be more realistic, so could they.
Thank you. I am not planning a home birth. I am planning on a hospital birth. I was merely suggesting people educate themselves.