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anyone see this article about "infertility" in WaPo?
And I use that term in quotes because I don't think these people were infertile. They were just worried that they might be in 10 years when they're financially ready to have a kid (?). If they can afford all these treatments now, how are they not able to afford a baby? I don't know why but this rubbed me the wrong way. Should be interesting to see the chat on this one . . .
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Re: anyone see this article about "infertility" in WaPo?
this rubs me the wrong way too. i feel like it's an abuse of nature. i am all for science and technology when nature fails (like, when a couple actually has fertility problems), but to use it this way for one's personal benefit? what's next? choosing gender? physical traits? where does it end? i think it borders a very fine line between socially acceptable and morally wrong.
with this couple in particular, they decided at 30 and 32 they were too old to have children??? wtf???
my sister has friends who are in their early 30s. they didn't want to go through ttc naturally and 1 month after their wedding began IVF treatment and are expecting twins next month. i had the same feeling about that.
sometimes, it's best to leave nature alone. i'm afraid of the long term consequences of abuse of our medical advances.
I am pretty sure some doctors will let you choose gender.
Of course they're just fine! I didn't get that part either. The whole thing seemed so unnecessary and genetic-engineering-y. And I agree, "Desperation IVF" is pretty cruel to people who actually need IVF, and aren't just using it so they can time conception to when it's most convenient for them.
TTC #2: BFP 12/17/11, m/c 1/7/12 and D&C 1/12/12
baby blog/cooking blog
I think it is normal to stress about fertility, it's one of those things that you just don't know till you try. DH and I had no problems conceiving but before we did, I was surrounded by horror stories from friends/acquaintances having trouble and a media environment that kept on saying I had a geriatric uterus and my fertility was on a steep downhill slide. It wound up not being my personal experience for which I was very grateful but till it happened I was worried none-the-less.
I think the truth of the matter is, that it is more difficult to conceive the older you get BUT for most women it is not the impossibility that is often presented to us. In a very non-scientific poll, of the 10 friends who are pregnant right now or had a baby in the last few months - only 2 needed assistance from an RE. But the image and message is really powerful and it is hard to hear reason when it is just a whisper in the media maelstrom that surrounds fertility.
Am I surprised that technology is taking some fertility treatments in this direction, no. At least for the last 100+ years they have been closely correlated - from women encouraged to use formula from the start because it was "scientifically engineered" and "better" than breast milk to sex selection with ultrasounds to routine genetic tests, etc.
What is lacking sometimes is a moral compass and an established baseline and the ability to stick to it. And sadly this is a moving target. We may find sex selection or genetic selection abhorrent now, but I am willing to bet that my grandchildren will think nothing of it. Freezing embryos in your 20s to use in your 30s/40s will seem child's play. (Although there have been some interesting legal cases in divorces regarding the rights to frozen embryos that may redefine how this technology is used).
Personally I think this is creepy and unconscionable but it only surprises me that folks didn't start doing this earlier.
i just posted this on the nest and was coming over here to get the bumpies wise words too.
tomandcourt...those were my thoughts exactly...if you can plunk down $11K for this type of thing i have no idea how you can't afford a child.
and here is the chat:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2010/06/22/DI2010062202515.html?hpid=topnews
I read the chat and I guess I kind of get where they are coming from (even though I think the scientific intervention is a slipper slope). They want to have enough money saved so they can work a reduced schedule when they do have kids and they will obtain this goal when they are 40. So, they are preserving their 'younger eggs' now so they will have a better chance of pregnancy later (and possibly less of a birth defect rate) and they want to be financially comfortable. They sound like uber-planners and do not want to go into parenthood- hoping the finances work themselves out. I get this is an expensive area to live and that kids are expensive. The thing I don't think they get is that you have a lot more energy at 30 than 40 to chase around a toddler :-)
Again, this is not something I would personally have considered but since I was considered 'advanced maternal age' when I got pregnant and worried about all the things that went along with that- I do in a way see where they are coming from. Also, since most of my friends waited to have kids- I have seen a large percentage have fertility or pregnancy issues.
My view is a biased of course as not only did we face infertility but we also used modern science to become parents. In this case however I'm dumbfounded - the article read like an advertisement for her or for the centers that she researched into.
Plus the fact that just because they had this done now does not mean they will successfully have children later on. There could be male IF issues (if he hasn't been screened, doesn't say). There can still be genetic abnormailities. You just don't know what can happen.
what are you talking about? are you saying that right now gender choice is available? 'cuz I don't think so... (am I dumb and totally reading your comment wrong?)
it is called preimplantation genetic diagnosis and it is available. Usually it is for diseases but it is offered for 'family balancing.'
I am also really offended by the term Desperation IVF. It may be preservation to her now, but it will be desperation in the future if she comes up on the wrong side of the stats.
I am so glad the experience was scientific for them. Wait until the emotions come into to play. I would love to talk to her as she is sitting on the table with her feet in stir-ups waiting to see if her frozen babies thawed well enough to be transfered.
Sorry about my post, don't know what happened. There has beena few instances where parents have been able to select a gender through Pre Implantation Diagnosis. PGD was intended to assist families with a history of hemophila and other fatal gentic diseases but now some families are using it to choose the sex of the baby. https://www.givf.com/familybalancing/whatisfamilybalancing.cfm
This woman sounds really naive to me. You will never be ready for a baby! You will never have a big enough house, you will never have enough money, you will never have enough time!
I agree with eeclem -- they sound like super Type A hyperplanners who I would hate IRL.
The only part that rings true is that they are definitely not ready to be parents.
This.
ding ding ding ding ding ding!
ETA: but i see someone else is...again! Congrats Barkers!
wow. as someone who dealt with infertility and like L&H had modern science assist us to pregnancy, i'm really offended by this. how nice for her that it's all nice and neat! i mean, if only the rest of us had been so smart to fork over $11k a decade ago, maybe we wouldn't have had any problems! wtf.
and her use of the term "desperation ivf" is a slap in the face to any woman who has actually dealt with infertility and had to undergo treatments. it's not desperation to try on your own and then go through the proper testing and such before diving in to fertility treatments. and anything can happen, even with her precious frozen embryos. she has no idea if they'll have some genetic or other disorder, or if the IVF won't take.
this is so mean, but i almost hope that when they finally get around to using their embies that it doesn't work out for them. and good for every clinic in the DC area that turned that wacko down!