Do I need to take a longer break?

Re: Do I need to take a longer break?

• SmallestWilk

  July 2010

  It takes a lot courage to get back on the horse. I really respect you for TTC!  Anyone who says TTC is not stressful has never gone through what we've been through. Stress = tears for me!  And the stress of a BFN -- well, I don't blame you for crying.
  

  I mc around the same time...Lately, I've been getting anxious -- this big feeling of unrest -- because each day, all I can think about is "the next time."It's like I've become obsessed with it -- it's the only thing I can think about so naturally, every time we get in bed, I start to think "Should we?"
  

  About a month ago, DH and I were in the middle of the deed and I just started crying. I just felt overwhelmed and sad and bitter about the whole miscarriage. In retrospect, I think a lot of it was hormones. 

  I wouldn't discount hormones AND, I don't think it's unnatural to feel what you're feeling right now. IMO, what we've been through is traumatic. We're just 3 months down the road. For me to be where I am today, functioning and having more "good" days than bad, is something I'm proud of. And I try not to get down on myself when I do have a bad day because inevitably, it leads to "maybe I'm not ready..." when in fact, I think it's just fear.

  I always try to remind myself, cliche as it is, that which does not kill us makes us stronger. Hang in there! 
  

  
  

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• littlebubba07

  July 2010

  I can definitely relate.  I had my m/c right after Easter this year and we have just started TTC this cycle.  I am blessed to have a DD who is almost 2 yrs old and I find myself wondering if I am asking too much to have baby #2.  I go back and forth with the idea of "if it happens, it happens" and charting.  I am anxious too. I still have tough days and I find myself wanting to say to DH all the time, "I can't believe I lost the baby."  I keep quiet because although sad about it, he is really stable and has a positive outlook.  I just can't let it go.  I think I am ready to try again and we did, but I also wonder sometimes too.

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• hopefulelise

  July 2010

  I also was miscarrying right around easter sunday. Although I didn't have my D&C till the week after, I was spotting on/off the week before. I think we all are so anxious when we start trying again, it's not silly to have all those emotions come flooding back. I know mine will be when we start trying again soon. Good luck!

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• jkm123

  July 2010

  I definaty understand... this honestly is the hardest thing Ive ever dealt with in my life, and not an easy thing to get through for sure.. everyone is defferent, some women need time to heal emotionally  for a while, and some are ready immedately after... neither is right or wrong. I however was ready right away because I feel like I cant truely heal until I get my happiness back, and at this point another pregnancy is the only thing that could give me my happiness back. Their will always be pain, but maybe it will dull a little. Its been almost 4 months for me now, and I still get sad every single day... but I am still TTC.. goodluck with whatever you choose, and just know that we are here for you!

  

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• goalieamy24 member

  July 2010

  The first time DH and I could FWP after m/c I cried afterwards.  We waited 2 cycles (doctor's orders) and I'm really grateful for the time we waited.  It's hard.  Today I was with my dear friend who is due 4 weeks before my ED.  She made an off-handed comment involving her being 7 months pregnant, and from that point on I was stuck.  All I kept thinking is that I should be 6 months pregnant and staring at my belly, hating it at the moment.  So yep, it's hard.  I don't know what will make it easier.  I keep thinking if ____ happens I'll feel better.  But so far every time whatever that  ____ may be I come up with something else that needs to happen to make me feel better.  Right now I'm praying for my BFP. 

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• damabo80 member

  July 2010

  jkm123:

  I definaty understand... this honestly is the hardest thing Ive ever dealt with in my life, and not an easy thing to get through for sure.. everyone is defferent, some women need time to heal emotionally  for a while, and some are ready immedately after... neither is right or wrong. I however was ready right away because I feel like I cant truely heal until I get my happiness back, and at this point another pregnancy is the only thing that could give me my happiness back. Their will always be pain, but maybe it will dull a little. Its been almost 4 months for me now, and I still get sad every single day... but I am still TTC.. goodluck with whatever you choose, and just know that we are here for you!

  Yep. This exactly. I feel like I'm just floating through life right now, and the only thing that will ground me is a child.

  I still cry due to grief a few times a week.

  PG loss is hard, and it sucks. There's no "right" way to go about it. We all just have to take it at our own speed. Hugs to you.

  
  

  BFP #1 via IUI ~ L (Fatal Birth Defect) 4/7/10

  BFP #2 via IUI ~ m/c
  BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
  BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
  
  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• NurseDFW

  July 2010

  I had my m/c the first of march. I still am very emotional. I think it is more bc I am getting close to my EDD. I too feel like I am floating through life.

   I stressed my self out for the first cycle. I was all about charting and OPK. This cycle I am just more emotional than anything else.

  Take it day by day. Just let your emotions out.

  

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• spincat9 member

  July 2010

  TTCAL = very stressful and very scary - I don't think your reaction is off the mark at all!

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