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Attachment Parenting
Working to get over DH's mistake:(
I need a place to vent and you gals will get this much more than most of my RL friends!
S was born at home and we saved and froze the placenta to plant with a tree this summer. We finally found a tree that we wanted and bought it last Saturday. I took a nap with the baby and DH went and planted the placenta and tree while we were sleeping. 
He was trying to be nice and plant so I would not have to see the placenta (kinda made me sweemish) but we had talked about how excited I was to do this.
Needless to say my feelings are REALLY hurt and I feel like that last part of our birth story was taken from me. I was all ready to take pictures of the baby and the tree as soon as it was planted. DH gets it a little bit after our talk but now thinks I am overreacting by being so hurt about the whole thing.
I know he was trying to help but really managed to hurt me:(
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Working to get over DH's mistake:(
Thanks Mamas- I know he was trying to help. I am not typically very emotional so I needed to vent a bit- and in more than my diary!
At least we will have some gorgeous fruit from this tree:)
It sounds like he was going above and beyond to do something nice for you. I understand how your emotions aren't swayed by the logic but I would try to phrase it to him that you are sad you missed out, not that he hurt your feelings (unless I am misunderstanding). I can imagine you feeling sad and I bet he feels pretty bad too.
I think you should take a family pic by the tree every year and try to love that not only do you have a beautiful memorial, but you also have a wonderful DH who created it for you, as he helped you create your LO.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
Melodramatic much? FYI - You can still take pictures with the baby and the tree.
It's not like he destroyed your sacred placenta or the tree. Nobody died.
Mucho likes purple nails and purple cupcakes
A placenta tree is really weird and gross imo, so my response is colored by that thought.
HE WAS TRYING TO BE NICE. Nothing happend to your "birth story". You got pregnant, you gave birth, and now you have a baby. You can't get a photo of every single moment and I don't see how not having a photo of your baby and your placenta is a huge loss. If it is, then maybe try to just count your blessings. You have a baby. You could have just ended up with a placenta as bad, sad stories sometimes go.
Obviously you didn't make your feelings crystal clear to your H or he wouldn't have planted your beloved placenta without it. I'm sure he didn't do it to hurt you. If you're hurt, then try to just be realistic about it and see that he just did something nice. Make a plaque naming it the placenta tree, take a photo of the tree when it grows and scrapbook away...
You're overreacting.
I'm sorry.
Please apologize to your H.
ITA
my feelings are REALLY hurt and I feel like that last part of our birth story was taken from me.
Really??? I am 100% with your DH on this. GET OVER IT
I would be upset too. You might always be a little bit sad about it, but you should just focus on the fact that your DH actions came from a loving place. Maybe there's something else you can do that will help you feel like you were a part of it. You can still do the photo session, or maybe plant a couple flowers around the base of the tree, or put up a bird feeder or wind chimes in the tree as your finishing touch. Find a way to get at least part of the last part of your birth story back.
HTH
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
Pardon me? Part of your birth story was "taken from you?"
If it meant that much to you you would have planted it this week with your husband or hey, anytime within the last 8 months. Obviously the sight of it freaked you out so he did a sweet thing.
You're nuts.
Yep.
And quite honestly, I think women who nearly died in child birth or had their child nearly die, lost a child, or had to have emergency surgery should be the ones complaining about 'having part of their birth story taken from them.'
Otherwise, it just sounds like self-entitled nonsense.
This, FFS.
You know you're completely ridiculous, right? I mean, that doesn't come as a big shock to you or anything, does it? 'Cause DAMN.
Stop whining about how your husband did something NICE for you WHILE YOU NAPPED.
If you want to *** about someone taking away part of your "birth story," *** at yourself. YOU slept through it.
I honestly feel bad for the poor guy. He thought he was doing something very sweet and nice, and instead was met with your bad reaction
Give him a hug and thank him for doing something sweet.
Lol. I can't stop giggling just imagining my what my husbands reaction would be if I told him that not only did I want to keep my placenta, but I wanted to plant it with a tree. I assure you he would not have had any part of it.
_Fenton for the win!
OP, don't be stupid. You didn't lose anything from your "birth story". FFS.
What in the world does she need to take pictures of a 8 month old rotten placenta for? And what would you do with that picture? "On your wedding day, we're going to take this picture of the rotten placenta and tie it into your bouqet so you can remember where you came from."
/dead
And did it ever occur to you that maybe your husband was tired of having 8 month old frozen placenta sitting next to his chicken, frozen veggies and ice cubes? Dude, I'd have 3.8 seconds to clear that *** out of my fridge before my husband packed it up for me. He couldn't have company come over for ice without worrying about the placenta that even YOU couldn't look at popping out at them. Nasty.
What a gem you have there. Stop being a freak.
Did I misunderstand? I thought she said she wanted to take a picture of her baby by the tree right after it was planted. I really don't remember her saying anything about wanting to photograph the placenta.
I think you trolls are overreacting. She didn't say she was devastated, just disappointed. I'm sure any of you have overreacted or been disappointed by something that other people think is no big deal. You're just judging because this has to do with something unconventional like using a placenta. While that it something I would never do, I'm still able to put myself in the OP's shoes, consider her feelings and be sensitive. And if I didn't get it, and I couldn't do that, then I would just remain silent. You have nothing better to do with your day than bash a total stranger on the internet because she wanted to plant a placenta tree? It was something she was excited about. When you miss out on something you're excited about, a natural reaction is disappointment. Stop being so immature and ridiculous.
LOL. Yes. Trolls. All with a ton of posts. Yup.
And if she's so damn upset about getting a picture with a tree, TAKE THE PICTURE WITH THE TREE. Who cares if something is buried under it or not? I don't care if it was rotten oranges, someone's socks, a dead animal, whatever the case may be...the OP is being ridiculous for overreacting about something being planted while she was taking a nap.
*sigh*
Calins- you know we aren't trolls, but this is totally the kind of answer I would expect from someone that believes they can also be a born again virgin. If the OP was so excited about her darn placenta tree she should have planted it while it was still fresh, not taking up space next to her frozen bbq stash.
I don't believe that you can be a born again virgin.
You haven't changed a bit, though. Ahh, old times.