Anyone else feel insanely ANGRY? I have spent the last several days in a general state of POed...
Yesterday the fire alarms went off at work so we all had to evacuate the building. I saw 8 huge PG bellies outthere....I just wanted to run to my car and go home.
Today, I got home and I was just so aggravated. At everyone....about everything. DH was talking me into going for a walk so I finally put my shoes on and went outside. I spent the entire walk ranting, yelling, and crying. Why me? How many times do I have to be the 1 in 3, the 1 in 8, the 1 in 50...Why does this have to be ONE MORE THING in my life that doesn't happen "as normal" or "as it is supposed to?"
I don't believe in god...but I have so much anger at the world right now. I thought that anger was one of the first stages of grief. (denial, anger, sadness...) but I have cried and cried in the nearly 6 weeks since my surgery. Am I going backward?
I know these feelings are not logically accurate. I have a lot of wonderful things in my life and other people have things much harder than me, but I don't feel a lot of appreciation right now.
My negative ranting is (I think) taking a toll on DH's mood/feelings too. I hate making him feel bad..but I just can't keep it all in sometimes. I just want to scream and scream until my voice is gone.