the name battle
When DH and I finally decided to have one i told him ahead time or warned him that 1. i wasn't happy preggy girl, i was hormonal and uncomfortable and he will know it; 2. i had final veto rights on a name. my argument is that i'm carrying this child for 9 (almost 10) months and i should have the right to name it! he seemed fine with it in theory but now that we are discussing names it's becoming more of a battle, we definately don't see eye to eye on names, i don't know if its cultural (he's english) or i'm just too picky but pretty much every name he suggest i veto and every name i suggest he veto's (but i ignore) i know it sounds selfish but i'm not going to settle on a name just to make him happy. my sister did that and now i have a nephew named Amar Tupac (no i'm not making that up!). i'm kind of thinking of keeping my name options to myself until delivery and then have 1 fight about it then a whole bunch of mini fights over the next 5 months.
any feedback?
Re: the name battle
You need to find a way to find a name you both like. This shouldn't be a you win/he wins kind of thing. I understand that you're carrying the baby, but it's his baby too and he should love the name as much as you do.
The best place to start is to make a list of both of your favorite names. Start with your top 10, then compare them. Do any of them match? Are any close in style (say, Emily and Emma or something like that)? Build on that. If they're way off, do 10 more.
You're both going to have to compromise. Neither of you should have to settle. And do you really want to have one huge fight about your child's name after he/she is born? Isn't that supposed to be a happy time? Obviously it's going to take awhile for the two of you to agree. Figure it out now so you can enjoy your first few days as a family instead of being at each other's throats over a name.
I think that was stupid of him to agree to that. And stupid of you to make him. Using your logic: Why should he have to settle on a name just to make you happy?
You should come up with a name that you both agree on. If he vetoes, he tells you why. If you veto, you tell him why. If it's non-compromisable, throw out the name as a possibility.
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Sorry but I totally agree.
Are you planning to make ALL of the decisions for your future child just because you carried it for 9 months? If so, by all means continue with your little "veto" game and pick out a name that only you like. But, if you plan on jointly raising this child for the next TWENTY YEARS (as opposed to 9 months), then you need to give a little more consideration to your DH. Your child's name should be one that you BOTH really like.
I would take the PP's suggestions and each make a list and compare. If none of them match, look at the qualities in the names that you individually chose and work from there. You could also buy a baby name book and each highlight the names you like in it. Maybe you'll come across some that you both like. Do you know the sex of the baby? If not, it might help to wait until you know (if you're finding out beforehand). Good luck.
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You know what I felt carrying DS for 9 months "entitled" me to? choosing the spelling of DS's name (we were conflicted on that). But not the name itself.
This post honestly stuns me. You think it's your right and your right alone to name the child? This basically says "selfish" to me.
I would have loved to have found a name we both LOVED - but we had different styles. we did what someone else suggested - we both made a list, we each got to cross off the names we truly disliked, and then the names that were left over, we discussed.
In the end, we went w/ a name that he had found and really liked. I actually had to warm up to it. But I wanted this to be a decision we came to together.
To exclude your DH from this process is setting a really bad precedent for your life as parents who should be parentign TOGETHER.
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This.
I just want to give you a world as beautiful as you are to me.
Same here. DH and I can't agree on a boys name to save our lives. I was starting to think, "Oh screw it, I'll just let him name the kid." But I don't think I'd ever get over it if he picked something I totally hated. And I wouldn't feel right doing that to him, either.