Have you shared your TTTC w/ friends or family?

OneBlackOlive · June 2010

Hello Ladies. Have you shared your TTTC w/ friends and/or family? If so, did you feel "relieved" afterward?

I am an extremely private person IRL and I have not told anyone we are TTC, but I wonder if telling my sister or possibly my MIL about our issues and upcoming RE appointment may reduce some of my anxiety, sadness, etc.

Just curious whether those that have shared with family and/or friends felt any relief in getting it off their chest?

Thanks.

everam01 · June 2010

We waited until we started working with an RE before we told anyone, so over a year. Sometimes I wish I would have told someone sooner because I think I could have used a support system during some of the more depressing months.

renafaith · June 2010

I didn't feel any relief...in fact, some of my family/friends I wish I hadn't told.

wordslikeswords · June 2010

To be honest, my entire immediate family and a few close friends know our whole story right down to DH's SA results. We've been pretty open about it because I'm very close to my family and need their support, but also with some of our friends so if anyone else has to deal with IF they have someone to talk to.

That said, DH posts it on FB. When we found out about the IUI... look on facebook.. "IUI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Really? lol. I guess he's excited but he tells everyone everything.

krysiahamaty · June 2010

There are some people I wish I didn't tell because they spread the word around a bit too much. I regret that. However, I think when it comes to family, I wanted them to know for 1. support and 2. to find out if they had any issues TTC like me. MIL had issues (MH is adopted) so it was nice to hear her stories and get support from her.

PocketofSunshine09 · June 2010

I have told my Mom and 3 of my closest friends but that is it. DH is not comfortable with talking to his family about it so we are keeping it quiet for now.

mrs.monica · June 2010

after we started seeing the RE and a year had gone by (we have one DS and people were bugging us constantly) we finally told. Everyone that wants to know does...I was sick of keeping it in and all the lies.

lawby2005 · June 2010

I just told my very close friend back in the Caribbean last month. My mom knows and this weekend I told the wife of DH's friend since she confided that she had undergone IUI as well.

rebelina1 · June 2010

We haven't told any of our family that we are TTC or or having TTTC. We are private people too so we keep it all between us and my Bump friends of course.

At the beginning of the year when I was thinking about seeing an RE I did talk to my BFF because she had been seeing a RE for 8 years and I wanted a referral. I now talk to her a bit about our treatment since she went through IVF several times. I wouldn't say it was a relief to tell her but it is nice having her to talk to.

UMichGirl · June 2010

There are several friends who know that have gone through IF treatments (and a couple who know that I'm just super close to that didn't go through IF). Honestly it really has helped having the friends who have gone through the same thing to talk to.

That being said, our families don't know. I'm sure they suspect. They all know we want kids, we built and moved into a house that's way too big for just the 2 of us 2.5 years ago...and we're still childless. At first I said, well if we've been trying for a year I'll tell my parents. Then it was, if we start seeing an RE I'll tell my parents. Then it was, if we need to do IF treatments I'll tell my parents. We're beyond all that and I still haven't told. All I keep thinking is...I can never "untell". So for now, I'm keeping it to myself.

Good luck to you.

PMTeagle · June 2010

We've always been pretty open about it, but things became much more open after we miscarried and then started taking medication. I think it helps to be able to tell some of my close friends what it going on, even if they don't really understand it. They are good at listening. And I've found out about other friends who have had the same struggles or are going through it right now, so we've been able to share war stories.

krayola99 · June 2010

I've told my mom and 3 close friends. I think that it was a relief to tell someone at the time, but I can't say now that I feel better or worse, one way or another. I had to tell my mom, cause I had to ask about her medical history, but I still don't talk about it very much now with the friends that I shared info with initially. Sometimes they ask to see how I'm doing, and I get tired of saying "same old, same old". Just wish we'd all get KTFU'd already!

smurphy6 · June 2010

I am an open sharing person with everyone so my family knew we were "trying" right after we got married. His family has caught on too...I think. I finally had to spill the details to my mom because she is constantly pressuring me and asking bold questions at inappropriate times. Now hopefully she will think twice before opening her mouth, especially around DH.

It's a tough call, but it sure felt nice to get it off my chest to someone other than DH who hears about it all the time.

GL!

hawaii123 · June 2010

I have one friend that I told because I knew that she had gone thru something similar. Another friends knows because of all my Dr appts~he doesn't ask a lot of questions but it nice about saying "good luck"

I have not told anyone in my family because they are all BSC and I forbid H to talk to his family because they'll put too much pressure on us. so its mostly bumpy support

orange1414 · June 2010

We have told my immediate family and some of my close friends. We tried to tell only people we thought would be supportive. So far it was a good choice for us.

scherpha · June 2010

I shared with a few close friends from the beginning to a shoulder to cry on other than DH. After seeing an RE we told our families and close friends. Although we do not keep it a "secret" anymore we are not telling everyone everything. I still would love to have a little bit of surprise in telling.

gymnst1013 · June 2010

Pretty much everyone we know knows. We are definitely not private about stuff like that. Personally, most people IRL don't relieve my anxiety about IF. I didn't tell them for support or anything - just because I'm a big mouth. The only people that really make me feel better are the girls here

jenna916 · June 2010

I have surprised myself with how open I am. My family knew from the beginning and some of my close friends. At this point more people know than don't. Maybe it's just because it's constantly on my brain or I'm just way too open. I'm also a social worker and am surrounded all day at work by other social workers, so even when I thought I was hiding my emotions well, they all kept asking me if I was okay because I didn't seem like myself. I told each of them at different times and I'm really glad I did. I don't have to worry anymore about putting on a mask if I don't feel like it. Plus, they're social workers so they are super supportive and never make the insensitive comments that I've heard from others.

jbish · June 2010

Not on purpose. We had no intention of it, but my family's nosy and started asking questions. Have not felt any better with them knowing. Mostly adds more stress with more people asking questions.

biblionerd · June 2010

We weren't going to, but I had a lap for cysts and possible endo and didn't feel right not telling my parents I was going under GA. I thought I could be more vague about what it was for, but I didn't feel right lying about that either once it came around.

imoverit · June 2010

Honestly I was not able to talk about it until after trying over a year because just the mention of it made me cry. Then I found out that someone I worked with had trouble conceiving and so we started talking. I've been more open about it since then except with my inlaws because not only are they big gossipers, they also would bug me constantly about what I should do. My mom, dad, and sisters are the only family members that know. GL.

mikeandangie · July 2010

We've told a couple of friends, but not our families. Mainly because 1. I know they would worry waaay too much and 2. because they would be hovering. I am having a lap done and I am really on the fence about telling them about that since I will be under general anesthesia, but honestly I would rather avoid dealing with 1 and 2 above.

kjodaddy12 · July 2010

renafaith:
I didn't feel any relief...in fact, some of my family/friends I wish I hadn't told.

This....definitely.

Have you shared your TTTC w/ friends or family?

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