Contempt? Long sorry.

Krisx2 · July 2010

I've been asking for SD's insurance information from BM for seven weeks now. We need it because our insurance requires us to disclose any other plans the beneficiaries are covered by to coordinate payments. My insurance company has already sent me multiple letters for the information. I just got another letter stating that they will not process my current claims (3 OB visits, 2 pedi visits ect) until I give them this information. DH, DD, and I do not have any other form of insurance, only SD does. And I have not taken her for any appointments yet, so no claims pertain to her.

So now I have bills for over $1,000 that will not be covered by insurance until she hands over the information. (I have called my insurance company, they are waiting two more weeks).

According to the CO, BM is required to disclose this information. Her reason for not giving us the information? Well she sent DH a text last week saying "Give me my money, and I'll give you her insurance info". She's the one in control of the CS account. The payments are automatically taken out of his checks. He has no arrears.

DH did look at the account, and sure enough only 1/3 of the normal amount was paid to the account even though the full amount was taken out of his paycheck. He called and asked why and the CS worker told him "It was just an error, the rest will be retrieved tomorrow." He said nothing to BM about the money. She's the one in charge of the account and she should have called to straighten it out herself instead of texting him multiple times with threats of "contempt" for not paying. He again emailed her for the information and it's been five days with no reply.

My question is, can we file for contempt since she is withholding information?

All of the emails, texts, and info has been faxed to our lawyer and we will be calling him on Friday. I just wanted some opinions because I'm impatiently waiting to hear from the lawyer or BM.

fellesferie · July 2010

Eh, I think that it's your H's responsibility to get her the CS. She might be in charge of the account, but the bottom line is that it's something that he's supposed to do. If he knows what's going on, then why not disclose the information?

If she's supposed to get the rest of the money tomorrow, then this whole thing could be resolved then?

In your shoes, I think that your H should contact her and explain what happened with the CS. He should also tell her that if she does not provide the information immediately, she'll hear from his lawyer because she's in contempt of the CO.

Krisx2 · July 2010

fellesferie:

Eh, I think that it's your H's responsibility to get her the CS. She might be in charge of the account, but the bottom line is that it's something that he's supposed to do. If he knows what's going on, then why not disclose the information?

If she's supposed to get the rest of the money tomorrow, then this whole thing could be resolved then?

In your shoes, I think that your H should contact her and explain what happened with the CS. He should also tell her that if she does not provide the information immediately, she'll hear from his lawyer because she's in contempt of the CO.

Sorry I didn't keep the timeline apparent. She's already collected the rest of her CS. He emailed her asking for the info again after she had collected the full amount. So it's been five days since she got her money and he emailed her again.

And no, it's not his responsibility to get her the CS, since this is not a pay directly to BM situation. He knew the full amount was taken from his check. That's as far as his responsibility goes IMO. The rest of it was the CS enforcements problem since they messed up the amount given to BM. So she should have called them to figure it out and not text DH about it, since he had nothing to do with it not being paid.

However, I do agree that he should have said something to BM about the problem being resolved. That would have been courteous of him. Unfortunately he wouldn't get off his high horse to say anything and she got her money without a word from him.

I hope it will be resolved soon. But I feel like BM is being spiteful. And I don't know why she was so rude about the CS money when SD is in our custody right now and therefore is not accruing any expenses.

EDIT: The CS was paid in full to BM one day after it was due. So on the day it was due, only 1/3 of the amount was available to her since the CS enforcement made a mistake. She text him and emailed him 10 threats by the time the day was over. He called the CS workers and figured out the mistake the next morning and the full amount was "retrieved" by her that afternoon.

jpowell3 · July 2010

I may be able to help you. I'll send you a pm.

paris.inthe.spring · July 2010

Krisx2:
fellesferie:

Eh, I think that it's your H's responsibility to get her the CS. She might be in charge of the account, but the bottom line is that it's something that he's supposed to do. If he knows what's going on, then why not disclose the information?

If she's supposed to get the rest of the money tomorrow, then this whole thing could be resolved then?

In your shoes, I think that your H should contact her and explain what happened with the CS. He should also tell her that if she does not provide the information immediately, she'll hear from his lawyer because she's in contempt of the CO.

And no, it's not his responsibility to get her the CS, since this is not a pay directly to BM situation. He knew the full amount was taken from his check. That's as far as his responsibility goes IMO. The rest of it was the CS enforcements problem since they messed up the amount given to BM. So she should have called them to figure it out and not text DH about it, since he had nothing to do with it not being paid.

YOUR opinion, may be that he doesn't have the responsibility of getting her the CS, but I can pretty much assure you that you are in the minority with that. That said, your H should have his lawyer contact her lawyer with the current situation, and let them handle it.
Does your SD have to be on your insurance per the court order? If not, why does she need dual coverage?

DREWLILY · July 2010

I don't know if it's exactly contempt for her to not give you the insurance info. You can get your claims paid by telling your insurance that there is no secondary insurance as far as you know. You should be able to file something with the courts to compel her to produce the insurance though. Do you have a lawyer you can ask?

MissSusieQ · July 2010

Can you call SD's dr an ask them to fax you a copy of the card for your records? I know BM is being a pain and I understand let me tell you. But since you are coming down to a dead line I would see what you can do from your end. Also I would tell BM if she doesn't get you the information SD will not be covered by a 2ndary insurance.

Littlejen22 · July 2010

Krisx2:
fellesferie:

Eh, I think that it's your H's responsibility to get her the CS. She might be in charge of the account, but the bottom line is that it's something that he's supposed to do. If he knows what's going on, then why not disclose the information?

If she's supposed to get the rest of the money tomorrow, then this whole thing could be resolved then?

In your shoes, I think that your H should contact her and explain what happened with the CS. He should also tell her that if she does not provide the information immediately, she'll hear from his lawyer because she's in contempt of the CO.

Sorry I didn't keep the timeline apparent. She's already collected the rest of her CS. He emailed her asking for the info again after she had collected the full amount. So it's been five days since she got her money and he emailed her again.

And no, it's not his responsibility to get her the CS, since this is not a pay directly to BM situation. He knew the full amount was taken from his check. That's as far as his responsibility goes IMO. The rest of it was the CS enforcements problem since they messed up the amount given to BM. So she should have called them to figure it out and not text DH about it, since he had nothing to do with it not being paid.

However, I do agree that he should have said something to BM about the problem being resolved. That would have been courteous of him. Unfortunately he wouldn't get off his high horse to say anything and she got her money without a word from him.

I hope it will be resolved soon. But I feel like BM is being spiteful. And I don't know why she was so rude about the CS money when SD is in our custody right now and therefore is not accruing any expenses.

EDIT: The CS was paid in full to BM one day after it was due. So on the day it was due, only 1/3 of the amount was available to her since the CS enforcement made a mistake. She text him and emailed him 10 threats by the time the day was over. He called the CS workers and figured out the mistake the next morning and the full amount was "retrieved" by her that afternoon.

Yeah, everyone needs to stop playing games. Tell your DH to grow up and take the high road so that when he asks BM to do something for him that she has less reason to play games.

Littlejen22 · July 2010

Krisx2:
fellesferie:

Eh, I think that it's your H's responsibility to get her the CS. She might be in charge of the account, but the bottom line is that it's something that he's supposed to do. If he knows what's going on, then why not disclose the information?

If she's supposed to get the rest of the money tomorrow, then this whole thing could be resolved then?

In your shoes, I think that your H should contact her and explain what happened with the CS. He should also tell her that if she does not provide the information immediately, she'll hear from his lawyer because she's in contempt of the CO.

Sorry I didn't keep the timeline apparent. She's already collected the rest of her CS. He emailed her asking for the info again after she had collected the full amount. So it's been five days since she got her money and he emailed her again.

And no, it's not his responsibility to get her the CS, since this is not a pay directly to BM situation. He knew the full amount was taken from his check. That's as far as his responsibility goes IMO. The rest of it was the CS enforcements problem since they messed up the amount given to BM. So she should have called them to figure it out and not text DH about it, since he had nothing to do with it not being paid.

However, I do agree that he should have said something to BM about the problem being resolved. That would have been courteous of him. Unfortunately he wouldn't get off his high horse to say anything and she got her money without a word from him.

I hope it will be resolved soon. But I feel like BM is being spiteful. And I don't know why she was so rude about the CS money when SD is in our custody right now and therefore is not accruing any expenses.

EDIT: The CS was paid in full to BM one day after it was due. So on the day it was due, only 1/3 of the amount was available to her since the CS enforcement made a mistake. She text him and emailed him 10 threats by the time the day was over. He called the CS workers and figured out the mistake the next morning and the full amount was "retrieved" by her that afternoon.

Yeah, everyone needs to stop playing games. Tell your DH to grow up and take the high road so that when he asks BM to do something for him that she has less reason to play games.

NikkiJ19 · July 2010

I will be in the minority. I think if the NCP has paid (with proof) the CS if there is a difference it should be taken up with CS by the CP. Once DH's CS payments did show up on the day they usually do. They are directly taken out from the same job he has had for 10 years. Both BM's called him having a fit as if he did it or had anything to do with it. DH called CS and they had a computer problem so the payments went to them the next day. If they just made a simple phone call before getting all fired up and yelling at DH about nothing he had control of they would have saved themselves some stress.

odear · July 2010

NikkiJ19:
I will be in the minority. I think if the NCP has paid (with proof) the CS if there is a difference it should be taken up with CS by the CP. Once DH's CS payments did show up on the day they usually do. They are directly taken out from the same job he has had for 10 years. Both BM's called him having a fit as if he did it or had anything to do with it. DH called CS and they had a computer problem so the payments went to them the next day. If they just made a simple phone call before getting all fired up and yelling at DH about nothing he had control of they would have saved themselves some stress.

I agree with you.

colonialbride · July 2010

The problem with filing an order agaisnt the BM is that it won't help you with your medical bills because a court date must be set, etc and it will take forever. You guys need to do your best to get the info from the BM, but you can keep this info and possibly use it in court if you go in the future for contempt.

Littlejen22 · July 2010

odear:

NikkiJ19:
I will be in the minority. I think if the NCP has paid (with proof) the CS if there is a difference it should be taken up with CS by the CP. Once DH's CS payments did show up on the day they usually do. They are directly taken out from the same job he has had for 10 years. Both BM's called him having a fit as if he did it or had anything to do with it. DH called CS and they had a computer problem so the payments went to them the next day. If they just made a simple phone call before getting all fired up and yelling at DH about nothing he had control of they would have saved themselves some stress.

I agree with you.

I do not disagree with this is that it is BMs responsibility but I think that once he called and knew the answer, he was just playing games in refusing to tell her. Had he not looked into it at all he would not have been "wrong" but he did look into it. I just think he needs to take the high road if he expects her to.

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