Work shower...

tracy41 · June 2010

Ok, I really was going to stop posting on this board, but now I have another etiquette dilemma. I love the people I work with and they are very sweetly having a baby shower for me before I go off work. Usually we have a gathering in a conference room with a cake and maybe a giant sub sandwich and people drop in as time permits to say congrats to the mother to be. There is an employee fund that pays for this and a friend of mine at work was setting this type of arrangement up.

My supervisor and his assistant have decided they don't want to do this so they hijacked the shower from my friend and are setting it up at ESPN Zone. They are going to require people to pay $18 a piece to attend to pay for the food. I know a lot of people at work are 1. not going to be able to take time away from their day to go hang out at ESPN Zone for a few hours and 2. no one has ever had to pay to attend a shower before. So after failing to talk them out of it I told them to tell people not to buy gifts or anything and to just come as a little "going away" party since I will be out for 5 months.

I know some of you are going to say it is not my fault they are being rude, but it is a shower for me and I am at a loss as to how to mitigate this. I assume only the coworkers that work directly with me are going to be coming due to the cost, should I approach them directly and apologize and make it clear I don't expect them to buy anything besides lunch? I don't want to leave it unsaid because my supervisor is going to force them to come he's just that type of guy.

EastCoastBride · June 2010

If I were in your shoes, I think I would go to the people I feel closest to and explain how horrified I am by this. I would tell them to please know this isn't what you want, you REALLY don't want them to buy you a gift on top of having to pay for lunch, and that if they know who else is goign - to tell them the same thing!

While it truly doesn't reflect on you, I totally hear where you're coming from and I coudl not sit back and just go along w/ it.

Akilah C · June 2010

I agree with PP. I'm sorry you were put in an situation like this. I can't believe he would move your work shower to ESPN Zone! Seriously??? Sounds like he likes things to be about himself! Your work friends will definitely hear you out on this one!

Carilyn · July 2010

I agree with EastCoastBride. That stinks! Sometimes we hold our work showers at restaurants, but usually in the mid afternoon and no one is obligated to buy food to attend. It is their business if they just sit there with a glass of water and chat (I've done that before). But somewhere they're required to pay??? Wow.

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