i need some hand holding
quick background:
My sister spilled the beans to my mom about my pregnancy before I could talk to her about it. She said the burden of knowing was too hard on her. Yada yada. She never apologized and it's put a block in our relationship my whole pregnancy. It's far more complicated than that. I vented a while ago about the whole thing. My parents have been super wierd about it all too.
Current:
I had an appointment today with the mw's and I was caught off guard by having to schedule my cs today. I knew it was likely but didn't know it was today. My DH wasn't with me and it took me a little while to get a hold of him. I thought it would just be a basic check up so he didn't go.
When I left I was shakey and upset. I called my network of friends and NO ONE was around. Purely chance, but I felt really alone. So, I called my mom. While I was crying telling her the events, she asked me to hold on that she was getting another call! WTF! What call could be more important than her daughter telling her about a surgery for the birth of her first grandchild.
Later in the day my dad calls in what appears to be a supportive phone call. At the end of the conversation he says that I need to call my sister and be the bigger person because I'm having a life changing event coming up. He also told me that I should be the one to tell her that I got married because hearing big news like that is best from the source. Tell that to her! She was the one who couldn't keep her mouth shut about the pregnancy.
So - I'm sad about the c-section, I feel really lonely, and I'm pizzed at my family. Plus my dh just texted that he won't be home til 10 pm. I'm a mess.
Re: i need some hand holding
So sorry! You're coming tonight, right? Until then, here's a big virtual hug.
I'm going to make an AWESOME big brother.
That sucks. When I got my c-section news I would have been a wreck if I was by myself, I needed DH there to hold my hand [and he needed it too].
Hugs, so sorry about your family drama. You're pregnant, about to have a baby, this is not the time to be guilt-tripped by your family. This is your time. Your sister can grow up and be the "bigger person" - you have a family to take care of!
I wasn't going to because I feel like crap, but I think the company may do me good. Plus I may bring a different date. I need to leave now if I'm going to make it.
I'm going to make an AWESOME big brother.
::HUGS:: I'm so sorry, that is a lot to take in all at once, and being pregnant seems to make even the littlest thing seem ten times worse. :-(
I had a similar issue with my MIL and our relationship still hasn't recovered. I understand completely why you are angry with her. I was beyond furious with my MIL when she told people I was pregnant less than ten minutes from the time we told her and we wanted to keep it a secret. I refuse to even tell her I'm pregnant next time until after I've told everyone else. As someone who understands being the bigger person, this is one situation that I wouldn't be. She ruined that moment for you. One should know never to mess with a hormonal pregnant woman!
As for your c-section, I'm sorry you feel sad about it. I hope that you have a quick and easy delivery and recovery. It really isn't bad, I had one and I would gladly do it again. I hope that you start to feel better about that and about your family soon. And I hope you're able to feel better getting the things out that you need to say!
I am so sorry.
It sounds like you've had a really stressful day! I hate when my parents pull the "be the bigger person" thing and try to step in on things between my sister and I. I hope your evening is much, much better. Have some chocolate for you and Wolfy.
BTW, when will Wolfy be here?? That's exciting! And: you said DH!
M/C 9/21/09 | M/C 12/24/09 | BFP 1/23/10
Madeline Rey DOB 9/30/10
TTC # 2 Jan 2013
BFP 3/12/13 | EDD 11/18/13
It's a GIRL! Lydia Marie!
I'm so sorry! As far as your c/s I know this may not make you feel any better but I have heard that planned ones are far better than the emergency one I had. AND you get to plan your baby's b-day now : )
That is really rotten your folks are putting this all on you. I agree that you should be the one to tell her you got married but tday is NOT the day. You just needed lots of their support today (((Hugs)))
Ugh! I wish talking with them would have turned out differently to make you feel better. That just sucks. Sounds like your mom and sister need to be bigger people...they shouldn't expect it to be all on you, especially now.
If you want to chat about c-sections, please let me know. I've had both. I may be able to help ease your fears.
Steal my kids picture or pretend they are yours, I will find where you live and ship all of their dirty diapers to your doorstep. Promise.
Also to add like the others have said - the c-section was not as bad as I thought. It still sucked to get told that was my only option at such a late date, but I was able to work through that.
It ended up being a positive experience - not what I wanted, but when does life go according to plan? The recovery is manageable, it was nice knowing exactly when I was going to have Katie, and being able to mentally prepare was huge and a luxury a lot of women don't get.
I got some great advice from ladies here. Side note, one thing I did is still write a birth plan. At first I felt silly, but it helped me feel like I was more a part of the process and still have my voice heard [and the nurse did comment that she appreciated knowing what my priorities were].