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2nd Trimester
MW said no need for birth plan
I asked at my appt today if/when I should start putting one together. She literally said "no no no" and put her fingers up as an X and said "it's a jinx!" She said that they find that whatever you put in there that you want to avoid ends up happening to you and everything goes opposite of how you want it. Then she explained how they do things, mentioned placing baby on my abdomen immediately after birth and letting me hold them, letting the cord stop pulsing before cutting it, preferring you to labor out of the bed, and they have birthing balls and jacuzzi tubs in the L&D suites for you. I was so excited!
Anyone else have this discussion with their OB/MW yet?
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Re: MW said no need for birth plan
Our birth plan with DD was, "have baby". That was it. My OB said it was the best birth plan he had ever seen. Obviously I talked to him about what I wanted and didn't want before I went into labor. And I had a very open line of communication with my nurses while in labor. But our ultimate goal was to get DD out safe. And if that meant something was going to be done that wasn't originally "planned", so be it.
My original plan was to nurse DD ASAP but since she had medical issues I was unable to nurse her until the next day. SOOO not part of the plan but things worked out anyway.
My doctor said something like what your mid wife said. My doc said that most of the time it doesn't go as "planned" because each person and situation is different. She said that you can have your wishes known when you register for the hospital, but most of the time you have to tell them again anyway.
I am just letting DH know what I want, but leave it open to whatever they are willing to offer me.
I wish I had one with DS because we didn't have MWs then and I had to go to a clinic where I saw 1 of 12 OBs each time. The doc who delivered DS was one I hadn't met once and I ended up going down intervention avenue.
This time, I won't have a birth plan again, but I'm seeing 2 MWs and I'm confident that we will have lots of time to talk about what I hope for this birth etc. I'm a big fan of going with the flow too though- things rarely go as planned.
They are a huge waste of time. Things will happen the way they are meant and depending on your body type, etc so it just upsets people when it doesn't turn out the way they have always envisioned it. One thing I would ask about is your MW's policy on episiotomies. Not sure if they can do that or if it has to be an OB. I tore in a horrible direction with DS, right to my urethra and had a very painful recovery because my old OB didn't do one. My new OB does them and it was very helpful with my last delivery and PP recovery. Didn't burn like h3ll every time I peed! Just know where your provider stands with this and other major issues.
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Pretty much you have no control over your labor...I've been there 2 times already. You can make suggestions as to what you do or dont want. Like I prefer not to have an epidural. But you really cant make any set in stone decisions because anything can happen. In the end as long as your baby is born healthy, that's all that matter right? I agree with your MW.
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We discussed it and my doc said absolutely outline my preferences but also to remain open-minded and be prepared for plans to change as neccessary. As long as you are laboring and progressing well there is no reason you can't make your wishes known!
As long as you and her on are the same page as far as procedure as she explains it, that's great. But I'd still research and dcide how you would like things to be handled. In mine I included my preferences in the event various things do go wrong but I also know that I'm not a Doctor and things may not always go my way.
At the VERY LEAST let you rplan be that they thoroughly discuss and explain any and all progress, procedure, protocol, etc... and keep you informed at all times as to your options. But I still think a general but flexible plan is not a "jinx".....
We didn't do a "birth plan" because I'm paranoid and figured as soon as I decided how I wanted things to go, I'd be setting myself up for it all to get changed. BUT, we did have strong feelings about certain medical practices, certain interventions, etc. So we put together a list of preferences - things we wanted, things we would prefer not to have but if necessary would handle, etc. Then I just talked it through with my MW to see if anything on there was contrary to her normal practice. A few things were, and we discussed where she or I could be flexible so that we were on the same page before labor started.
Then, when I checked into the hospital, I just had a copy of the preference sheet (w/the edits my MW and I had decided on) in my bag and DH handed it over to our nurse, saying "I know most of this is stuff that you do already, but these are some things that are important to us and if there's a need to do something otherwise, we'd really you giving us a heads-up." So we weren't saying we refused to have things not go our way.
Some of the things on the sheet included asking the nurses to please not mention or offer pain relief unless I asked for it, asking them to delay putting the antibiotic ointment on her eyes until she'd had a chance to be chest-to-chest with me and get nursing established, etc. I didn't put anything as obvious as "I don't want a c-section" on there - I felt like I had to put some faith in the MW and nursing staff to watch out for my best interests and be aware of what my and baby's needs were.
OP- That is great! It sounds like your MW and you have ideas that really align and that your preferences are their default. How awesome!
With my insurance, a doctor I've never met will probably deliver us, and nurses we've never met will be supporting. Already I've heard that med-free is rare in their practice, by the choice of their patients (not some medcal agenda). Knowing that flexibility in a medical emergency is prudent, I see nothing wrong with communicating desires to people to don't know me. If I want to bring up pain meds and not have the nurse bring them up, I would expect them to be mindreaders if I didn't communicate that in some way. THAT would be unsreasonable. Communicating to a medical team I've hired is not. For people who do want a med-free birth (until/unless a point of danger arrives) preparation is a top way to reach that goal (again, a goal--not a rule).
Maybe I'm naive about this, but to me wanting a bith plan (or, better, an idea of birth preferences) doesn't have to be legalistc, inflexible, or contrary to what a medical team thinks is best. Some of the responses make me think that is what the perception of a plan is.
My various medical issues have convinced me that it's best to just wait it out right now.
I might be on bed rest at the hospital when I go into labor. I probably won't carry to full term. If my baby is on the large side, I won't be able to labor at all and will have a scheduled c-section. So much is up in the air before I even get to the labor part that there won't be a plan.
I have a picture in my head of what my ideal labor and delivery will be but I'm not holding my breath. I have talked about some of the things that I really want my husband to do after the baby gets here while we're still in the hospital- that's probably the one area that I can have plan in. But it doesn't involve the doctors or nurses.