Loss of mother

hdr51580 · June 2010

My mother passed away almost two weeks ago. She was so excited about this baby, especially since this one is a girl. I am not excited, I have not been excited and now since my moms passing I am starting to feel really depressed about having this one. I just wish this pregnancy were over and done with. Any one got any ideas to help me see the light at the end of the tunnel?

kjr · June 2010

I am really very sorry for your loss. I don't have any advice, but I am truly sorry.

Have you considered talking to your doctor or another professional about your feelings?

**Big Hugs**

hdr51580 · June 2010

I have spoken to her about it, and she seems to think that all this will pass. I hope she is right. My mother was my support system, she always wanted my husband and I to have a girl, (we have a 4 yr old boy now), she knew she was going to pass (cancer) and now I think I am feeling a little resentful that she will not be here to see it. I just wish I could see this as a happy occasion but I can't seem to get in the right mind frame.

savannah11 · June 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom to cancer 5 years ago. I was not pregnant and did not have kids at the time but I do understand your grief. Right now it's hard to imagine being happy and excited about anything. That's okay. It took me a year to make it to a good place. It's still painful for me to think about how my mom never got to meet my babies.

I would just give yourself time. The pain will never go away but it will get easier and you will be happy and love your little girl. Don't expect too much from yourself right now.

MrsMGR · June 2010

I can only imagine how you feel....however, I am in a somewhat similar situation. My MIL, who is the most amazing grandmother ever, is in a never-ending battle with cancer. She's was given 6 months to 6 yrs to live, and it has now been 7, so she's definitely been fighting it for a long time. However, it is spreading fast now and although she is still fighting, she has less energy now and the treatments are only getting harsher on her system. So, unfortunately, I don't think she'll be around for my second child. It makes me VERY sad bc my parents aren't very close to my son, so she's the only grandmother he'll really ever know and my second child will never have that relationship. I wish there was more I could say to make you feel better, but I'd like to think I understand your pain a little bit (although mine is my MIL and not my mom and she has not yet passed). If you ever need to chat or vent, we're all here for you.

kreeper611 · June 2010

I'm sorry. I lost my father almost 10 years ago, so I can sort of relate...but not really. It's not easy, but it will get better. For me the best thing is that when DS smiles he reminds me a lot of my father. I'll say a prayer that your DD looks like your mom. It might make you sad at first, but hopefully you'll eventually smile about it.

KelleyA · June 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. Is there something your mom would have liked your little girl to have, a special gift or something like that? Perhaps you can make a little memory book for your little girl showing her who your mom was. It would be a wonderful way to celebrate your mom's life and your little girl's upcoming birth. Big hugs to you!

rayskit10 · June 2010

KelleyA:
I am so sorry for your loss. Is there something your mom would have liked your little girl to have, a special gift or something like that? Perhaps you can make a little memory book for your little girl showing her who your mom was. It would be a wonderful way to celebrate your mom's life and your little girl's upcoming birth. Big hugs to you!

I lost my grandmother to breast cancer when i was pg w #2. because my mom was a young, single mother my grandmother raised me as much as my own mom did and we were very close. i had a boy and Gram loved him and when I was pg again she wanted nothing more than for me to have another boy. and i did. but she never got to meet him. however, he will know her. he sees pictures of her and hears stories. my kids will always know about their Noni.

Of course you can't be happy right now. You just lost your mother. But you can remember that she had a daughter that she loved very much and that she wanted her daughter to have what she had- a loving relationship with her little girl. You will have that and it sounds like a cheesy song or something but it is all coming full circle for you. That's why parents so desire for their kids to have children of their own- to know that life and love carry on. You will love your daughter and you will honor your mother by doing so. {{hugs}}

kat.in.the.hat · June 2010

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I don't have any first hand experience, but I would say to see a therapist or counselor if you feel the need to talk to someone. Your OB might be right and it might get better in a few weeks, but I think talking to someone more than just your OB would be a really good idea as well.

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