S/O to the unplanned pregnancy post below (poll)

SushiNoMore · June 2010

The post below got me thinking: If you had sex before you got married, did you have a plan for what you'd do if you got pregnant? How smart / stupid were you with your birth control?

I started having sex when I was 17 to a guy that I dated for 2 years - no regrets at all. I was on the pill (and was always religious about taking it), but I knew it could fail. I figured that, if I ever got pregnant, I'd give the baby up for adoption, and I knew terminating a pregnancy was something I'd at least consider. I definitely knew I wouldn't keep it.

Let's try to keep this flame-free - I don't want this to turn into an abortion debate. I'm really just curious.

Edit: And, no, I'm not trying to act like I was some angel teenager. I was plenty stupid in other ways. :-)

iris427 · June 2010

I fully admit to being stupid with birth control and not having a plan.

alwysbrdmaid · June 2010

I knew that I wouldn't have been able to handle it. I didn't have sex until I was almost 19 but my plan was to give the baby up for adoption. I figured two stable adults could care for my child better than I could. I personally could not have aborted.

LadyXaverian · June 2010

The first few times, we used a condom. I made an appointment with my doctor right away to get on the pill. I was 18, and we stayed together for 5 years. Even though I was on the pill, we used a condom every single time. So yeah, we were REALLY careful.

Had I somehow miraculously gotten pregnant through 2 types of BC, we probably would have kept the baby. Our families would have been disappointed, but they would have supported that decision.

wordslikeswords · June 2010

I was really good with using protection. I will admit to 2 "mis-haps" though. I was fortunate that neither of those times resulted in pregnancy. I always figured I'd find a way to raise the baby no matter what. I'm not sure how that would have worked out but it was my "plan".

cmm8311 · June 2010

I did sometimes forget to take my BCP on time. I waited until I was 21 (or 22, i forget!) and DH and I knew we were going to get married so if it happened it was okay. We knew our parents weren't going to pay for the wedding that we got so we knew that would have been a sacrifice if we had an unplanned pregnancy.

niceybee05 · June 2010

I knew that if i ever got KU i would do what i had to do to support my child. So a little after my 19th b-day i got KU. I had a job so DH(then BF) and I got an apartment. We got 2 jobs while i was KU so we could purchase all the baby stuff .

Almost 5 years later we have purchased out 1st home and are very happy. I think if it hadn't been for our son we would have taken a few years to get our act together. I am also very happy that i didn't consider abotion becuse TTC would be ever harder than it already is.

Except for being in CD4 =(

nic5606 · June 2010

I was on BC and faithfully used condoms, but back then, 18yrs old, I dont know what i would have done if i had gotten pregnant. My mother would have killed me! Thank god, I never did. Years of preventing and now 6 months trying so far. Come on BFP!!!

lmj8284 · June 2010

iris427:
I fully admit to being stupid with birth control and not having a plan.

me too. and i thank God that nothing ever "unplanned" happened to me before i was ready.

jteneback · June 2010

I used condoms, was on the pill when I was in a serious relationship. In college I would probably have aborted but I'm glad I never had to make that decision. After 25 or so I was financially stable enough that I would have kept the baby.

Now there is plan B, and I did have to use it once because the condom broke. I guess it's too expensive for teens ($40) but I don't see how this doesn't reduce unplanned pregnancy.

sgb721 · June 2010

I was 17 and on BC pills. It was with my now husband. My plan- Hmm... Abortion wasn't for me- although I definatly do not judge others, and IDK but I never considered adoption. Not that there is anything wrong with it- my biological dad was adopted. I guess I just always knew I'd keep it.

Fortunately that was not a situation I had to go through and god bless those who have. My mom was 16 when she had my sister and 19 when she had me. I guess I always figured if she could do it, I could to (if I had to)

mrs.monica · June 2010

I'm a total geek here. I waited until I was in love to have sex. I was a month away from turning 22 when I did it the first time, senior in college actually. That was after I dated a guy for 3 years in college before that, I think I was in love with him too. Sidenote: he just got engaged this weekend and it STILL bothers me. Weird I know. Anyway...so I was never worried about it. I think in college I would have kept the baby, especially at 22. I was on the pill in that relationship, after that I just did condoms, because the pill makes me ill. I was always very smart. Only had unprotected sex with my DH.

PandaManda23 · June 2010

we were very careless about it....i had surgery and the meds. my doc. gave me would counter-act it so there was no point on taking BCP

so me and now DH didn't care.......and of course a month later after my surgery i was PG....i was 18 .. not even a year out of college and was considering abortion...though i HATED the thought....

we got married a month later and kept our little one...and we are living our lives like nothing happened

note: we were already engaged and already planning the wedding...so no..we did not get married because of the baby

Melissa2216 · June 2010

I was not as consistent with BC as I should have been and I'm lucky I was never in a situation like this. I relied on condoms and I didn't start on BC until I was halfway through college. I probably would have given the baby up for adoption if I had gotten pregnant.

cmm8311 · June 2010

mrs.monica:
I'm a total geek here. I waited until I was in love to have sex. I was a month away from turning 22 when I did it the first time, senior in college actually. That was after I dated a guy for 3 years in college before that, I think I was in love with him too. Sidenote: he just got engaged this weekend and it STILL bothers me. Weird I know. Anyway...so I was never worried about it. I think in college I would have kept the baby, especially at 22. I was on the pill in that relationship, after that I just did condoms, because the pill makes me ill. I was always very smart. Only had unprotected sex with my DH.

If you are a geek, than so am I.

HopefulHalley10 · June 2010

I started having sex at 16 and was religious about BC. I always always always took my pill on time and also used condoms with spermicidal lube. I was scared to death at the idea of getting pregnant so it was a good motivator.

However, when I started dating DH I nearly immediately started getting stupid about BC. Since we both felt like we were going to marry each other on the first date I guess I kinda stopped caring haha. We used the pill (but I was so awful at remembering to take it) and condoms but stopped using condoms and were just using the pill after the first year. We talked about it and decided if we got pregnant we would be happy about it so it wasn't that big a deal. We did have one "scare" although looking back on it now that I know about charting and everything I'm sure I just O'd late and had a longer cycle. But even then it wasn't so much a scare as thinking pregnancy might be a possibility. Neither of us were scared; if it had been positive we would have been happy. In Jan. we stopped using all BC. Now we're on a "break" although we haven't used any type of BC besides timing away from O.

kellbranc · June 2010

The 1st few times I had sex (at age 17) I used condoms then started my 14 year relationship with the BC pill.

I was always afraid of getting pregnant. I am embarrassed to admit but I had considered abortion IF I had gotten KU at a young age (all for selfish reasons like I don't want people to know Im pregnant.....and how will I finish PT school). I thank GOD my BC always worked and I did not have to make that decision.

Yet here I stand TTC and wishing I COULD get PG. Funny isn't it

ginamcp · June 2010

I didn't have sex until I was 22 and in college. I wouldn't have sex with my hs boyfriends because I was terrified of getting pg and how that would impact the rest of my life (and I really didn't want to have to tell my parents).

brookelynpaisley · June 2010

I was 17, we'd been together a year and a half. We weren't careful. I was lucky. I had a scare and got on BCPs. I've been careful ever since. When I had my scare at 18, I was fully ready to have an abortion. I didn't want to be embarrassed by a pregnancy. As I got older and was more careful about BC, I think I probably would have kept the baby, since I was in relationships when I was having sex. Knowing what I know now, that would have been disastrous.

ProcrastinatingBride · June 2010

I really think the question shouldn't be, "if you had sex before you got married," but just, "if you had sex before you were ready to have children."

Anyway.

Like some PPs, we doubled up on contraception by using BCPs and condoms until we were pretty ready. We stayed on BCP until we were sure we were ready, and now here we are.

DH had some unprotected sex w/ the GF he had right before me; she went for the morning-after pill every time.

momoftwinsplusone · June 2010

I took the BCP and used condoms and I started having sex when I was 18. I dated this guy a long time. I never really thought of what I would do if we had a baby other than I knew I wouldnt terminate.

ManiacMcGee · June 2010

Honestly? I'm surprised I made it out of my teens without getting K/U. I started having sex pretty damm frequently when I was about 15 but I didn't go on B/C until I was 17, and I don't think I was particularly fastidious about it. Further I've actually had completely unprotected sex during some of those years.

Ugh. Speaking of totally dumb, thoughtless teenagers! Raging hormones + recreational drugs and alcohol = bad decisions.

Once I moved in with my then-boyfriend (age 20) I started being extra careful because I knew that I didn't want to have a child with him.

I think for a while I considered abortions, but I know in my heart had I gotten pregnant, I couldn't have go through with it.

msmarsh · June 2010

I started having sex when I was 19 with my serious HS boyfriend and we always used condoms and BCP. I had one "scare" with my next bf and we said if I was KU we would keep the baby.

Thank God I wasn't because he turned out to be a major loser.

iluvmylab · June 2010

SarahL77:

The first few times, we used a condom. I made an appointment with my doctor right away to get on the pill. I was 18, and we stayed together for 5 years. Even though I was on the pill, we used a condom every single time. So yeah, we were REALLY careful.

Had I somehow miraculously gotten pregnant through 2 types of BC, we probably would have kept the baby. Our families would have been disappointed, but they would have supported that decision.

Almost this. After we had a condom mishap, I got on BC because I knew it was more effective. This is before DH and I were married. I did not have sex until I was 21. If a baby would have been in the picture, I would've kept it and I know that my familly at least would have wanted that. There is no way my mom would have let me give up one of her grandbabies. If anything, my mom would have taken the child if for some reason we couldn't. But it's like I always say- if you are not responsible enough to raise a child don't have sex. I followed this rule.

atlb · June 2010

Well, I started having sex at 15. I was afraid to ask my parents if I could go on BC, and I am allergic to latex, so most condoms were out. I had unprotected sex with a lot of people (one night stands mostly) between 15 and 17 and somehow managed to not get KU. At 17, I went on BCP to "regulate my periods" and was on it a year before I got pregnant. I was shocked. I took it religiously, same time every day, never missed a pill.

I never really worried about getting pregnant. It seems silly now, but I really didn't think about it.

Jessiac_3 · June 2010

I've been on birth control pills since I was 18. Even so, we always used condoms too... Really wanted to be sure we didn't have kids until we were ready!!

brandywine2010 · June 2010

I had a serious bf at 15 years old. I begged my mom to let me go on BCP, but she would not hear of it. In her eyes that was like giving me the green flag to have pre-marital sex. Well, needless to say, the sex happened anyway and I was super protective about it. From 15-18 I used condoms and spermicidal suppositories (Encare was the brand). At 18 I took it upon myself to get on birth control without my mother's permission. I was still living with my parents at the time. That guy and I stayed together until I was 19 and there were no pregnancy scares.

If there was a slip-up my plan was to give the baby up for adoption if I ever got pregnant, however, my BF's parents and my own parents would have probably felt strongly about us keeping the child. Not to say that I never thought about abortion, b/c I did. I'm just glad that I never had to make that choice!

RachelP10408 · June 2010

ManiacMcGee:
Honestly? I'm surprised I made it out of my teens without getting K/U. I started having sex pretty damm frequently when I was about 15 but I didn't go on B/C until I was 17, and I don't think I was particularly fastidious about it. Further I've actually had completely unprotected sex during some of those years.
Ugh. Speaking of totally dumb, thoughtless teenagers! Raging hormones + recreational drugs and alcohol = bad decisions.
Once I moved in with my then-boyfriend (age 20) I started being extra careful because I knew that I didn't want to have a child with him.
I think for a while I considered abortions, but I know in my heart had I gotten pregnant, I couldn't have go through with it.

whoa I could have written this word for word! I knew that it could happen to me but I was so stupid. I even knew which "adult" that I would tell first if I was pregnant. Luckily I was able to finish college and get married and settled first.

bandwife928 · June 2010

I was always on the pill and was very good at taking it. I did have a crazy ex boyfriend that caused me to pray hard for an entire month after breaking up that I wouldn't be that 1% that gets pregnant on the pill. He was so crazy I almost had to get a restraining order and, if I had turned out to be pregnant, I would have seriously considered getting rid of it. I cannot imagine being tied to his craziness for 18 years.

gorby007 · June 2010

I've only had sex with 2 guys. I made sure that before I had sex with either one of them I made sure that they were on the same page with me about the possibility of sex resulting in pregnancy even with protection.

beachbum28 · June 2010

I started having sex at 16 with my high school boyfriend and we never used anything...so dumb! I guess i was lucky Embarrassed

goodgalpal · June 2010

DH and I met in HS when we were 17, and didn't have intercourse until we got married at age 23.

That being said, we were uber afraid of getting pregnant through stupid ways, such as me drying off with his towel (if he masturbated in the shower and then it was damp and what if I happened to use it after him... yeah, totally stupid!) and we did touch each other (petting) so I wondered if he secretly had sperm somehow oh his hands, really really really lame stuff like that.

In college, we "advanced" to foreplay and practically almost had sex. In those times he would wear condoms. He used to wear TWO for extra protection until we found out that actually can cause the condoms to tear or break more, so we switched to just one.

Shortly before we married, I started taking BCP. After the wedding we used the pill and a spermicidal lube by Ortho. Later we became more paranoid again (he got laid off and we totally didn't want kids at that time because we were worried about money) so we also used condoms on top of the other methods AND he pulled out. That was so overkill.

I had started not wanting to use hormonal BCP so we quit that and kept up the other three methods.

Now I know about charting and we WANT to get pregnant!

siren0076 · June 2010

I was one of those stupid teenagers...My daughter's father was my first love. - was 17 when - got pregnant. We were already broken up and I had no family support. I raised my daughter on my own. A huge disservice to her, try being a teen raising a baby working 3rd shift and still not making ends meet. I am much older now and I am very close with my daughter. She is the love of my life. Now being almost 34 and finally married to a wonderful man I am ready to have a baby I can be a wonderful mom to. I know my daughter will be a great big sister too.

byrne15 · June 2010

iris427:
I fully admit to being stupid with birth control and not having a plan.

this...

i became sexually active at 16, didnt even go on BC until i was 21 years old and even then, didn't take it regularly.

pinkflipflops44 · June 2010

First few guys/times just condoms.. got on bc was on it for about 4-5 years.. with dh we used both for about a year.. then just bc.. then a year before we got married we just went tojust condoms..

i will say that i always had decided that i would have an abortion if i got pregnant if i didn't want tobe..

i also will admit to thinking if i didnt get pregnant the first time, i would never get pregnant (i have always had morbid thoughts of never getting pregnant)

soooo you can guess which life theory is winning at the moment ha

Aaron'sWife · July 2010

I was raised that abortion was the most sensible option since my mother "did not want me ruining my life" in her words.

I got pregnant twice, once at 18 and once at 21 and had abortions both times. I had no second thoughts and still don't. For me, it was the smartest decision for me.

cantalopes24 · July 2010

I got pregnant at 20 on birth control so when we got engaged we doubled up with condoms bc I didnt want to be pregnant at my wedding.

heather_09_15_07 · July 2010

I was on birth control from the time I started having sex until a month after my wedding. When I was much younger, I would have considered abortion.

Now, I could never consider it for myself, though I remain pro-choice.

I can't really judge people too much. My mother was an unmarried pregnant teenager.

lostkendra · July 2010

Once I thought sex was a possibility, I got the depo shot. I thought for sure I'd forget to take pills everyday. With the shot, I had to make it in every 3 months. I also always made the guy wear a condom. One time we 'almost' without a condom and I stopped things. I have no idea what I would have done if I had gotten pregnant. I never really thought about it.

MrsSM · July 2010

Sex at 15, BCP right away. Then Depo at 19-ish until this January. Few condoms (soooooo allergic) with a couple of one nighters, but 95% was in relationships, so just the one method.

Family is very supportive, so I knew I would keep a baby if one arrived, but luckily it didn't.

ShawMich · July 2010

I lost my virginity to my boyfriend (now husband) at 19. If I became pregnant (we used BC and condoms) we would have kept the baby.

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