Moms of 2+

KelleyA · June 2010

So...we're having a baby in the next 8ish days...eek! I am wondering if you have any advice or wisdom for me as I go from a mom of one to two. Anything you wish people had told you, anything you wish you had bought, etc? I appreciate it!!!!

KKMMex · June 2010

(Sorry for what is sure to be an overly gushy and sentimental post.)

I'm very very happy for you. Going from one to two is a big transition but there are so many wonderful things about it. This baby will capture your heart in new and different ways, but she/he will capture your heart nonetheless. You will absolutely LOVE watching your two children together. You will adore seeing their bond and friendship develop. That part alone makes it all worthwhile.

I wish I'd asked for more help during the first few months instead of thinking I needed to do it all myself. I used the swing a lot for E's naps and then switched to her crib with no trouble when she was about 4 months old. The swing was my savior and helped with the logistics of two in the beginning. You'll learn a lot on the fly and it does gradually get easier.

I hope you have an uneventful delivery next week! Can't wait to learn the name and to find out if Baby Loftis is a boy or a girl!

CindyandScott · June 2010

KKMMex:
(Sorry for what is sure to be an overly gushy and sentimental post.)

I'm very very happy for you. Going from one to two is a big transition but there are so many wonderful things about it. This baby will capture your heart in new and different ways, but she/he will capture your heart nonetheless. You will absolutely LOVE watching your two children together. You will adore seeing their bond and friendship develop. That part alone makes it all worthwhile.

I wish I'd asked for more help during the first few months instead of thinking I needed to do it all myself. I used the swing a lot for E's naps and then switched to her crib with no trouble when she was about 4 months old. The swing was my savior and helped with the logistics of two in the beginning. You'll learn a lot on the fly and it does gradually get easier.

I hope you have an uneventful delivery next week! Can't wait to learn the name and to find out if Baby Loftis is a boy or a girl!

This. : ) My absolute favorite moment was when Reagan came up to the hospital and sat in bed with me to hold Abby.

Definitely ask for help and be prepared for the new baby to be a completely different baby then Amelia was. Just get Amelia as involved as you can with the little things. Reagan was in charge of getting pacifiers. She also would sit next to the bouncer and shush Abby.

It's amazing and I know I wouldn't trade it for anything.

charlotteL · June 2010

If you could invest in another set of arms that would be really helpful for you.

MMS2007 · June 2010

i agree with previous post, if help is offered, take it! also, if you can send your little one to spend the night with grandparents for a night before your new little one arrives, a night and half day of rest for yourself would be great! (my dd went to grandparents day before my induction, that night with dh was so nice and quiet and full of rest). i also had help staying with me for the first 3 weeks, it was awesome!! I'm lucky to have a great sister, mom and grandma.

my ds didn't like the swing as much as my older kiddo. but, i did need to be able to put him some where when i was getting things done that would keep him safe from dd. i used the pack n play a lot! that way my dd couldn't poke out his eyes and push him around. my dd isn't mean toward him, but overly loving and motherly, ds get's a little annoyed by her at times.

just go with it, don't expect it to be easy as pie initially, but it will get easy and you'll get a groove. rest when you can and enjoy them a lot. i can't believe my ds is almost a year and we've made it!!

best of luck!

rayskit10 · June 2010

Ditto KKMex and Cindy all the way.

Someone once told me if both kids are crying, deal with the older one 1st because they'll remember it. I thought it was silly at the time but it's come in handy for tantrum triage around my house.

A sling/moby/beco/etc is your best friend. Having a good carrier will allow you to manage both kids so much more easily.

REMEMBER: You already know what to do! So much of the anxiety of being a 1st time mom is gone and you will be less stressed, so don't stress about being stressed ;P On the other hand, know that this baby can be very different in temperment and needs than A was so don't try to fit a square peg in a round hole (I don't think you would but it's worth putting out there...)

A couple months of zombie like TV watching isn't going to kill A. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do and when you get your groove, you'll be able to do more but if Backyardigans for 24 hours straight keeps peace in the kingdom, there is nothing wrong with that.

I hope you have an easily delivery and can't wait to see your new sweetheart!! Good luck XOXOXOX

houcoog · June 2010

Everybody has great advice. For me, I worried a lot about ds feeling replaced (he was only 14 months at the time). He was used to getting all of the attention, and then after dd, not so much. However, once we got home and settled, everything fell into place. I did make sure and spend some extra time with him, just to ease the transition, and that seemed to do the trick. Perhaps a little something special for your dd would help her ease into the role of big sister. Best of luck!!

nanann · June 2010

SO excited for you! It'll be so much fun! It sounds like Amelia is going to be a great big sister!

on a non-gushy note, and not quite what you asked, but since others seem to have the rest covered, just a reminder that the "uterus going back to normal size" pains are MUCH worse the 2nd time around. Still felt like I was in labor for quite a while after, which was just the biggest shock.

kat.in.the.hat · June 2010

CindyandScott:
This. : ) My absolute favorite moment was when Reagan came up to the hospital and sat in bed with me to hold Abby.

Effing hormones. I'm crying now picturing this for us.

KelleyA · June 2010

kat.in.the.hat:
CindyandScott:
This. : ) My absolute favorite moment was when Reagan came up to the hospital and sat in bed with me to hold Abby.
Effing hormones. I'm crying now picturing this for us.

This is the moment I'm waiting for. Yes, I'm insanely excited about giving birth and meeting the baby, but being together in the room as a family of 4 is the moment I've been dreaming of. YAY!

LisaK2b · June 2010

I'm soooo excited for you!!! Everyone gave good advice above!

TexasHarmony · June 2010

KelleyA:
kat.in.the.hat:
CindyandScott:

This. : ) My absolute favorite moment was when Reagan came up to the hospital and sat in bed with me to hold Abby.

Effing hormones. I'm crying now picturing this for us.

This is the moment I'm waiting for. Yes, I'm insanely excited about giving birth and meeting the baby, but being together in the room as a family of 4 is the moment I've been dreaming of. YAY!

Ready for more waterworks? Wait until A or M lean over and kiss their new sibling. Oy. Be ready for the tears to just flow. It is awesome.

For us, we just included Avery in everything -diapers, baths, feeding. I also put J to bed earlier than she goes down, so we have some Mommy and Avery time every night. On the flip, Joseph usually gets up before her, so we have some Mommy and Joseph time.

charlotteL · June 2010

nanann:
SO excited for you! It'll be so much fun! It sounds like Amelia is going to be a great big sister!

on a non-gushy note, and not quite what you asked, but since others seem to have the rest covered, just a reminder that the "uterus going back to normal size" pains are MUCH worse the 2nd time around. Still felt like I was in labor for quite a while after, which was just the biggest shock.

Totally forgot about that. It lasted for days after G was born.

Nanner · June 2010

KelleyA:
kat.in.the.hat:
CindyandScott:

This. : ) My absolute favorite moment was when Reagan came up to the hospital and sat in bed with me to hold Abby.

Effing hormones. I'm crying now picturing this for us.

This is the moment I'm waiting for. Yes, I'm insanely excited about giving birth and meeting the baby, but being together in the room as a family of 4 is the moment I've been dreaming of. YAY!

One of my favorite pictures is of me in the hospital bed holding Hannah, with Sam sitting beside me with a peanut butter sandwich in his hand, watching Hannah. It's not overly love-y, but is a perfect documentation.

MMS2007 · June 2010

charlotteL:
nanann:
SO excited for you! It'll be so much fun! It sounds like Amelia is going to be a great big sister!

on a non-gushy note, and not quite what you asked, but since others seem to have the rest covered, just a reminder that the "uterus going back to normal size" pains are MUCH worse the 2nd time around. Still felt like I was in labor for quite a while after, which was just the biggest shock.
Totally forgot about that. It lasted for days after G was born.

yes, me too!! i think it's one of those not fun things we forget about and only remember the great things!

Erika&Brian · June 2010

I'm still learning :-).

Only advice I have is the first week or two may be a little rough for Amelia and she may act out and that's totally normal. Grant totally acted out and there were times I questioned what the heck we were thinking having 2 so close in age. Looking back there are things I could have done to help alleviate like spend more time with Grant alone from the get go (vs. having daddy or family visiting taking care of him), go to another room to nurse etc.He got really made when I couldn't do something because I was nursing. Just something to watchout for.

Good luck!

CareBear01 · July 2010

I saved this post for the future. I think it has some good tips.

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/25637499.aspx

Dcubed · July 2010

When DD was first born my mom came to town for a week. She actually arrived the day before she was born so she was able to be with DS while we were at the hospital plus it was helpful to have her at our house so she could entertain DS while I was getting used to DD. When she left DS spent a couple nights with his other grandma (who lives 15 min away). Some might think this a bad idea as it seems like he is being shipped off but I made it out to be a fun sleepover (which was something he would do anyways). So the first couple weeks I did have help which was wonderful! I really don't remember having problems with him being jealous or anything. By the time it was just him and I I had gotten used to DD's routine and sleep patterns (and I was healed up). So ask for help and take it! Also try to keep your oldest on the same schedule as best as possible.

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