Need your opinion - revealing our secret

nwarner324 · June 2010

So I am 6 weeks today and we have only told our parents and a few friends. DMIL has a really hard time keeping secrets and she wants us to tell the rest of the family at a family reunion on July 10th (I will only be 7 1/2 weeks). DH and I were going to wait until the 1st trimiester is over because we are really scared since we had to do IVF and with all the hard work we put into it we don't want something to go wrong and have to worry about telling everyone the bad news. I was thinking that maybe depending on what the heartbeat is next friday at our 2nd sonogram will determine what we do. If it is strong then we will tell. How long did you wait to tell everyone?

BTW...after all the stims that I had to take I already have a little pouch from my ovaries being so stimulated (normally don't have a belly at all) so I am afraid that everyone is going to think something or ask me all day and I don't want to have to lie to them)???? HELP PLEASE!

Ms.Messmer · June 2010

I have a MIL that is similar to yours, where she cannot keep anything to herself and it irritates me to death. So we're not telling them until the first tri is up (to be fair I cant tell my parents either). I'm excited to tell but I've had a history of m/c and it's not worth the risk to me. But, if you dont want anyone to know then you should be clear and stern that this is your secret to keep and tell when you're ready and you only. Especially going through IVF you would think she would understand your reasoning. Sometimes it's best to lie if it means protecting yourself. Whatever you decide, make sure it's your decision and best of luck!

staycee · June 2010

If you are not comfortable spilling the beans that early, then don't do it. I would highly recommend that you or your DH remind MIL that it's YOUR news to tell when YOU are ready to do so.

I had the same issue with My MIL 1st time around. I warned her that if we found out she'd told ANYONE - we wouldn't tell her anything more. She wouldn't know the baby was here until after it arrived. And she knew we were serious. That kept her in line.

Your News. Not hers.

Hyfagal · June 2010

I agree with Staycee it's your news and you should decide when you're comfortable sharing.

Your "pouch" is only noticeable to you because you know you're body. I'm sure it won't give you away if you decide not to share before the cookout.

caspian45 · June 2010

I have "that" MIL as well...so, we don't tell her anymore. I'd like to say I'm fair and don't tell my family, but, I do...they know how to keep a secret and follow my wishes on things.

So, I would say you need to do what you want and as others have mentioned its your baby and your pregnancy - which means its your news to share. Tell her to shut her can.

I wouldn't tell anyone until the first trimester is over personally - as someone who's had 3 M/C's.

shpinz13 · June 2010

staycee:
If you are not comfortable spilling the beans that early, then don't do it. I would highly recommend that you or your DH remind MIL that it's YOUR news to tell when YOU are ready to do so.

Your News. Not hers.

This Yes

beautifulsin90 · June 2010

I havent told many people just yet because I want to wait until the 2nd trimester. But my advice is go with what you think is right.

kcisthebombdotcom · June 2010

Ditto the PP who said it's your choice to make and you should do what you feel comfortable with.

To put something in perspective-if you have a good ultrasound with a nice strong heartbeat your chances of miscarriage are very low. My OB said with my 1st that it was fairly safe to announce the pregnancy at that point, but we still felt more comfortable waiting until 12 weeks. This one we told at 10.5 weeks since it was Father's day and we thought that would be a cute way to announce.

Need your opinion - revealing our secret

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