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Would you let your (young) 3 year old do this?

MelissaMc22MelissaMc22
in Cincinnati Babies

My mom, who I trust for the most part, wants to take Jack to visit my relatives about 3 hours away. She wants to take him for 3-4 days.

When she first brought it up, I thought he was too young. I don't really have a good reason though, I just am not comfortable. He still struggles with certain things and I just don't know that he ready to be away from home for that long. On vacation he was nervous to go on rides alone, woke up because of nightmares, etc...but, these things are things my mom would probably handle. I don't know, He just still seems so young to me.

Do you think I am being silly? Would you allow it?

 

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Re: Would you let your (young) 3 year old do this?

  • alloboscallobosc member
    We've let DS stay with family that I am extremely comfortable with for up to 5 days.  DS handled it great and it was good for us to get away.  That said, if other members of my family wanted him for that long, I'd be hesitant b/c I don't think they could handle him (they can barely handle themselves). It was also kinda nice b/c DS knew we were gone, but I don't think was in the "homesick" stage yet that kids can get into.  You aren't being silly either, I still worried about him, mommy instincts.
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  • kel716kel716 member

    Is your mom used to taking care of him for longer periods of time? (eg overnight)  How does she do then? 

    I'd probably allow it and be prepared to make a drive... and if not enjoy the time with one baby and miss him greatly while he's gone. 

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  • MoestenMoesten
    Who cares what I would do, this is your boy! I think if you are uncomfortable with it, then that's what matters. If you judge Jack as not being ready to handle this sort of situation well or you feel he is still too young then you should wait to have him have this sort of adventure. 
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  • Lyons_in_2007Lyons_in_2007

    I don't think I could do it; but that's just me.  Some of my friends are absolutely comfortable spending days away from their DC's; but that's just them. 

    A few related questions:  (1) Has he previously stayed, overnight, with your mom?  If so, how did he do?  Did he bring up coming home, the next day, or was his stay ended without him brining up home/you/etc.?  (2)  Has he ever visited these relatives before?  Is he comfortable with them and with their home? 

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  • Traycee1242Traycee1242 member

    I would let my DS and probably younger than 3... but I live less than 2 miles from my parents and my Mom watches DS all the time. He is very used to and comfortable with her...

    I agree with ppl and it's if YOU are comfortable. Has he had any overnights with Grandma? Maybe try for 1 or 2 nights locally and then go from there?

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  • shawnsweetieshawnsweetie
    Me, personally, no. Rylee had her first sleepover and my parents house less than a month ago. She was only gone about 12 hours (including sleeping time) and I was already a wreck.
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  • cops_wifecops_wife member
    I guess it would depend on how much fun I thought he would have. If you think it's going to be more stressful than fun for him, then no, I wouldn't. I wouldn't feel obligated to do it for your mom.
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  • bellevuebride07bellevuebride07
    Leo is going to camp for a weekend with my parents in July.  My sister works at the camp and I know he will have a blast.  I am not up for family camp but my parents want to take him so I am all for it.  We are a little nervous but also looking forward to some alone time.  He has spent the night with my parents a few times and done just fine.  I agree completely with cops_wife, much of my decision would depend on how much fun I thought Jackson would have.
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  • johnandkristinjohnandkristin

    I wouldn't be ready to send my Jack away for that long. I also don't think he'd be ready for it either. I think it's the fact that it's 3 hours away that would make me hesitant. If it was just 20 minutes away at my mom's house, I might give it a go, but I wouldn't be comfortable with 3 hours away.

    FWIW, my Jack has a nut allergy, so that always makes me uncomfortable leaving him with anyone, even if they know he has an allergy. Also, Jack doesn't sleep well when he's away from home, even when he's with us. So, those factors would weigh in my decision.

    Like pp's said, do what makes you comfortable! 

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  • Temp806465500003043Temp806465500003043 member

    Definitely do whatever makes you feel comfortable.

     Elena spends the night with my mom, my SIL and my MIL all the time.   She is actually going to spend a few days in Columbus with my SIL and my BFF in August.  They have both asked to spend some time with her and take her to do fun stuff up there.  I think she will have fun and I am excited for a little break.  :)  But if you don't think Jack will like being away from you that long then it won't be worth the stress for you.  

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  • adamsbabbleadamsbabble member
    imageMelissaMc22:

    ....

    I don't really have a good reason though, I just am not comfortable.

    ....

    This is a good enough reason! 

    Personally I would no't allow it.  First of all, I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all and would miss her like crazy and that is the main reason I wouldn't allow it.  The secondary reason is that at this point, I just don't think it would be fair to Ava who at 3 years old has no concept of time and can't really say if this is something she even would or would not want to do.  I guess my rule for going away on trips is that she would have to be old enough to understand the concept of time, how long she will be away from home/mom and if she is okay with that.  There is no way I could just send her off at this age, knowing that she doesn't really understand these things.  Also, if Ava could understand at this age, my guess is that she would say no, she would not want to do this.  My mom & step-dad are like second parents to her.  She loves them, sees them all the time, has a ton of fun when she is with them and goes to their house and other places around town with them without me, but that is totally different than being away from home overnight.  I'm sure that as soon as bedtime on night #1 came around, she'd be ready to come home.  I know my child, and I have no doubt that this is what would happen.  She's just not ready at this age. 

    You know Jack and have to go with your gut.  I think the fact that it took him awhile to get used to some things away from home on vacation is a big indicator of how a trip would go, and not having mom there to help him through those things doubled with not knowing how long he's going to be away and why, would be tough fro him.  Also, if things did go terribly awry, do you think your mom would be willing to rearrange her plans to bring Jack home?

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  • MrsMoherMrsMoher member
    Eli loves spending time with his grammy and memaw/bopaw.  Then again because DH and I took those cruises without Eli he has already spent a week with ILs.  I would say though that if it was a long trip ILs would not be allowed, because they have bad backs... my mom can run and pick him up and would be allowed.  DH and I agree on this.
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