Lurking - Have a Question
How do you ladies keep your little ones in touch and in tune with their daddies when they are deployed?
My DH is not in the military but is seriously thinking of taking a job that would keep him gone a minimum of 3 weeks each month for at least a year. I realize that is nothing compared to the stretches you guys go without seeing your husbands! I still feel bad that he will miss so much of our daughter's first year if he does this though . How do you go about making sure your baby still gets to bond with him? We have Skype from back when we were dating across the ocean. I'm not sure at DD's age it will even matter that much? I just want to make sure she gets to know him since he's saying this is for a year but it's likely to stretch on longer than that if something else doesn't come up.
Re: Lurking - Have a Question
Anything that allows her to hear his voice is good, so Skype would be great (we don't have that option with DH is gone so he records himself reading books and we watch those on DVD). Also, when they are really little keeping the scent of the person helps too. We have used a gently worn but not washed t-shirt as a "tummy time" mat so that baby is always familiar with daddy's scent. Other than that I find that talking about (and praying for, if you are the praying type) daddy a lot, making sure there are pictures around and always pointing out that daddy loves the baby helps (although, it may really only help ME feel better). One other thing I think is important is to have men around the baby so they are used to men's voices, smells, mannerisms (as they are different than women's). I was lucky enough to be able to have my father, grandfather, and brother around most of the time that DH was gone so DS bonded with men and the transitions to his dad were not so abrupt.
DH was gone 14.5 months of DS's first 21 months of life (all broken up time varying from being gone 2 weeks at a time to 6 months at a time) and it has not interfered with their ability to bond AT ALL. They are two little peas in a pod and DS is definitely in love with his daddy. Honestly, it will probably not be an issue at all, but I can understand being worried.