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Parenting
{Ava 5.16.06} {Ella 12.29.07} {Drew 2.9.10}
Welp, my sister is going back to the hospital. (long and whiney)
I just talked to her last night and she was fine and "in a good place" and today I find out via FB that she is going to admit herself in. I really just don't know how much more of this I can take. I called my mom to find out what's going on and she hung up on me saying she was busy.
(And here is where I make this about me, sorry, close it if you don't want to read it) I love my sister and all, but I hate this. I'm having SUCH a hard time and I was finally getting help via my mom watching the kids once a month or so etc and boom, gone again. Everyone is so preoccupied with Heather that I'm left in the dark. And I understand she is sicker than I am, I understand she is in a bad place, but I need help to. My phone won't stop ringing with people asking me what's going on and "poor Heather, she is having such a hard time"
I just want to yell she did this to HERSELF. But I don't and I am nice and civil.
Ugh I know this makes me sound like an awful person and that I am insensitive, but I'm not. I'm just done. Done, done done.
{Ava 5.16.06} {Ella 12.29.07} {Drew 2.9.10}
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Welp, my sister is going back to the hospital. (long and whiney)
Thanks, OSW. Appreciated.
Joe who knows. Her status was she was going to the hospital to check herself in and that was it. When I called my parents they hung up on me. She is/was addicted to drugs. She has been in and out of rehab.
{Ava 5.16.06} {Ella 12.29.07} {Drew 2.9.10}
Funny, my sister is a frigging mess and her name is Heather too. lol
Not much advice, just wanted to say sorry you and your family are going through this. No need to apologize for feeling left in the dark and all alone, you can't help how you feel. It is human nature.
One thing you could do is talk to your Mom about how you feel .... Not a "poor me" speech, but just tell her about your feelings. She might surprise you - she may not know you feel so alone.
Mommy to Rachel 1.15.06 and Ashley 5.17.11
First, I love and adore you, HUGS!!!
I can totally see where you're coming from. I went through a similar situation w/ my sister- not with rehab but just being a slack ass. At what point you you make your child stand on their own 2 feet and be and adult? Gah, I cannot even fathom that... You need to speak up and tell them the way you feel. I lived my whole life in the shadow of someone with bigger issues than mine and is sucks bighairysmellydonkeyballsthathavebeen draggedthroughshitanddippedinglitter.
You have to remember that your sis had a disease so it's not totally in her control but come on...grow up and be a contributing member of society. My sympathies only go so far, for dead serious. I just lost a good friend to this disease a few months back and I tried my hardest to help her- but she didn't want the help. Her choice. You cannot force people to help themselves- they have to want to want it more.
Oh sorry for that diatribe
)
As for you and your feeling. Tell your Mum- if she won't listen write it in a letter. Get it out and it's in her court to remedy the situation. She has more than one daughter to help/support/love.
~Lisa
Mum to Owen and Lucas
1. write your mom a letter. I know you won't tell her otherwise. Don't bring up Heather....at all. It's not about her, either way. What it IS about is that you need her continued help. Let that be the focus of your letter and let her know that just knowing that, once a month, you get a break is HUGE and you appreciate her giving that to you and you really need her continued support with that.
2. Heather, for better or worse, has a disease. Whenever I start to lack empathy for a drug addict, I think to myself "Hell, I can't even seem to resist that bag of Doritos. How in the hell can I expect one to resist a mind altering drug?!"
3. Let's get together. What about tomorrow? Dinosaur Park? Getting out of the house and around other pyschos, err, I mean friends is KEY! If not tomorrow, how about Thursday?
4. I can babysit during the day. I don't mind at all. I will have to bring Joey and Cam with me but I can hang at your place with the kids and you can go out for a couple of hours.
HANG IN THERE! Your feelings are yours, and are valid. Be gentle with yourself and definitely have a conversation (either via letter/phone/in person) with your mom. You need that time and really, she can spare one day a month!!!
{Ava 5.16.06} {Ella 12.29.07} {Drew 2.9.10}
I am so sorry you are going through this. Why did your parents hang up on you?
Drug addiction sucks, I never had to deal with it with family but I went to a high school that had a huge heroin problen and had to deal with far too many addicts and deaths as a result of it. ((((hugs to you)))
I'm so sorry. It completely sucks.
I don't know if it will make you feel any better, but I have a good friend who is 70, and when I met him he has been clean for about 6 weeks. He has now been clean for 17 years. He is a wonderful person (he did not start really using until his mid 30's). There might be hope for your sister yet!
In the mean time, that would drive me crazy.
I am very sorry to hear about your sister. It so hard to have a sibling who struggles so much with life. Be strong. Be kind. Be compassionate, no matter how hard it feels and how much you want to tell her to grow up and get past this sh#t. My older brother struggled with depression for years. I was often angry and frustrated with him. He killed himself last summer, a week before my son was born. I wish I'd reached out more, I wish I'd tried harder to understand what he was going through. I learned that even though I didn't understand where he was coming from I could have tried harder to just be there and just love him for who he was.
I'm sorry if I sound preachy, but I have been where you are with a sibling.
Oh L, I am so sorry. It's so hard and I know exactly how you feel. As I told you, I was the same way with my brother and after awhile it gets to you BAD.
You can get me here or fb but your feelings are totally valid. I so get it (wish I didn't but sadly I do). There is hope for her but only she can get herself there. In the meantime, you have to take of yourself. You can give her support but when it gets like this, then it becomes too much.
I am sorry that you are losing your help from your mom too as a result of this. It's hard to watch what it does them.
(hugs)
David "BD" 2/8/07 Spencer 9/12/11Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13