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Guilty confession for being selfish

bridezilla916bridezilla916 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
This is so horrible of me, but..we found out last week that my second cousin passed away. One of my first reaction was that I was going to dread this funeral bc I would have to see one cousin who just gave birth and another whos edd is 1wk after mine and shes having a girl too. my plan was to pay my respects and leave but now i find out that I "have" to stay for the whole 2 day service (per my mom). And what's worse is DH has to work so he won't be with me the whole time.
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Re: Guilty confession for being selfish

  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    Why does your mom say you "have" to stay?  Oh and I don't think it's selfish at all
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  • normajeane6126normajeane6126

    I'm a little cranky, so forgive if this comes off as b!tchy. You are an adult. You do not "have" to do something just because mom says so.

    Does your family (or at least, your mom) know what you're going through? 

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  • AbbneyAbbney member
    I learned along time ago (after moving across the country, not to get away from family, just thats where my life brought me) That I dont have to do anything I dont want to do, even if my mom tells me (she still tells me what I need to do and 98% of the time I listen) but I would go with your original plan A of paying respects and high tailing it out of there. No one can make you do anything your uncomfortable with, if you feel guilty schedule some time with your aunt and uncle to remember your cousin in a few weeks after BOTH of you have had a chance to grieve on your own terms
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  • elizabeth&jameselizabeth&james
    That sucks- I'm sorry. I really wouldn't want to go either- maybe you can take this opportunity to practice a moment of "I have to do what is right for me first- other things/people come second."  GL!
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  • bridezilla916bridezilla916 member
    True, you all have valid points. In my situation, no one outside of my immediate family knows, so only mom dad and siblings. Also, they have been supportive, but mainly telling me to forget and move on...so maybe that's not really being supportive. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent here. And btw you didnt come across b1tchy...just gave me a wake up call. I'm always telling DH that he needs to man up to his rents. I should take my own advice.
    DD#1 born sleeping on May 1, 2010 at 21w2d, lost but never forgotten Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • bethskyebethskye
    I lost a great aunt and a great uncle a few weeks after I lost Natalie.  I simply couldn't deal with a funeral  (much less a double funeral), and when my father was upset that I wasn't going I told him that I was not going to be any comfort to the bereaved.  I was going to be a sobbing mess every time anyone came close to me.  I sent a card.  No one was mad.
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