Did DH go to your first RE appt?

biblionerd · June 2010

Scheduled my first RE appt- couldn't get in until the 20th. Boooo, but better at least than September, which another clinic tried to schedule me! We fill out all of our history/info online and the receptionist said DH doesn't have to be there unless I just want him to be. Is there a reason for them? He can take the day or a 1/2 day off, I just didn't know if that's something they usually go to or if you found it helpful to have them there.

renafaith · June 2010

Mine went with me. The RE asked him some questions that I didn't know the answer to and wouldn't have thought to ask.

Too, since we live a ways away from there, the RE let him do his SA collection.

sail123 · June 2010

Mine was there and we were both SO happy that he came. The RE covered a ton of info in the first appointment and Dh had lots of questions. He told me he really liked hearing things directly from the doctor. It made me feel like we were both dealing with the same info and that nothing got "lost in translation".

The RE was also really good about explaining the basics of the female cycle (rise in estrogen, drop in estrogen, rise in LH, drop in LH, rise in progesterone). DH learned a lot!

deariex2 · June 2010

Hi there,

I just had my first RE appointment last week, so I want to wish you much luck. MH did go with me. Initially we thought the problem was with him, so I thought it would be best if he was there to have the conversation with the doctor, although once the conversation turned to me and we did the u/s, I was still happy he was there to support me. The clinic I go to actually says they encourage the s/o's to be there as often as they can be!

Hope that helps and GL!

hispenguin · June 2010

Mine came with me b/c our RE requested that both of us be there for the first visit.

mdluv21 · June 2010

Nope. He filled out all the paperwork ahead of time. I kind of wished he was there but it wasn't needed.

Jezebell26 · June 2010

I wanted my DH to come with me because I felt we were in this together. I left it up to him. I also wanted him to meet the dr and be comfortable with him and me seeing him. He did come and it was a great appointment. They did ask a lot of questions and it is easier if your SO is there with you. I also found i was less nervous about the whole situation. I was thrown off by the ultrasound and wanted my DH in the room with me and that freaked him out but he stayed and watched and i think he realized how serious this was when the dr started shouting out things about my ovaries lol. I dont have him at every appointment with me and have left a lot up to him. He is still a little scared about this whole situation and i am trying to keep him as much involved as he wants. I hope everything works out for you! GL

mlmbwr · June 2010

I just made my first appointment too. I can't get in until the 13th which means I will lose a cycle since CD 3 should be Monday. My doctor requested DH be there and I probably would have had him come anyway.

JennyAnne022776 · June 2010

Jezebell26:
I wanted my DH to come with me because I felt we were in this together.

This, but my DH was also insistent on coming along. He also wanted to be there when I had my blood work to confirm pregnancy last week and came yesterday for my blood work to confirm c/p. I told him that he absolutely didn't need to be there for the blood work, but he comes to everything with me.

Mrs. Mo · June 2010

I guess I'm in the minority. My DH didn't come to mine. My RE sent out a questioneer packet that we each filled out and I just brought them with me to the first appt. Everything she wanted to know about him was there so there was no real need for him to have to take the day off to go. The only one that he will be going to is the follow-up one where we will discuss all our test results and discuss a plan of action. I'm sure he would go if I asked him to for moral support but I really didn't see the need for him to waste a vacation day on something like that. If we do IUI/IVF, I'd rather him use a vacation/sick day to go with me to that instead of just a normal appointment.

If you don't live closeby and you want your DH to go so that he can have his SA done right away ( or any b/w), then I could see that being a definite reason for him to go. For us, we live fairly close so he is going on a day that he already has off to get all that done. I think it's just really up to you and YH.

orange1414 · June 2010

I found it helpful for DH to be there. I was fairly educated about IF and treatments from my time on the board, but DH didn't know much. He really listed to the RE and learned a lot--I have my doubts as to whether or not he would have listened as well to my recap. Good luck!

sweetpea1010 · June 2010

Our RE asked that we both be there so DH did come with me. I think it kind of helped that he was there so he got a better understanding of what was going on from a doctors perspective instead of what I was trying to tell him for over a year Smile

fotyluv4 · June 2010

MH

fotyluv4 · June 2010

fotyluv4:

MH

Woops, darn work computer! MH came with to our 1st appointment. It was nice having a second set of ears because they will throw a lot of information at you. Also, he was able to get all the necessary bloodwork done right away that they were requesting. Good Luck!

bhilyer · June 2010

hispenguin:
Mine came with me b/c our RE requested that both of us be there for the first visit.

Ditto.

DariaDee · June 2010

Good luck at your first RE appt! DH went with to mine. While I appreciated him there, it wasn't needed. Mostly he was a calming influence for me. I was pretty nervous before the appt...not sure why, really.

biblionerd · June 2010

Thanks everyone! I told him it was up to him and he said he'd take a 1/2 day. It's far from our house but only about 20 minutes from his work and is at 8:30 so that will work. Optimist me though... I told him we have to save up as much of our PTO as we can for maternity/paternity leave and all the pg appointments. One can always wish, right? He already has a SA, but no bw. I know he had wished he was there at my ob/gyn appt when I had a suspicious cyst and she talked about the lap and all of that.

cutebride73 · June 2010

Mine came with me and I was glad he did. The RE asked hime a few questions and looked over the results of his 2 SA's. I just was glad to have him there for moral support. And like a pp said, I feel like we are in this together. He did not come to my initial bloodwork appt's or my SHG, but for all other visits he has.

biblionerd · June 2010

mlmbwr:
I just made my first appointment too. I can't get in until the 13th which means I will lose a cycle since CD 3 should be Monday.

I have to miss this next cycle also. It stinks, but that was the closest I could get in to anyone. Hopefully it will be worth it!

Scout05 · June 2010

He did, for moral support if nothing else. He's great about coming with me to pretty much any and all appointments, so I don't have to be alone.

Good luck at your appointment.

STL34 · June 2010

MH didn't go with me. We filled out all of the history sections at home and then I went to the RE by myself. But, my first RE appointment was on CD3 and I knew we were going to do an AFC and b/w. We did that and discussed my RE's thoughts on things, but didn't get into a plan at that point. My RE wanted to get my b/w back and get my file transferred to him. So, I was kind of glad not to have MH there. I don't need any more people in the room when necessary when getting an u/s. Plus, they did an SHG and I didn't know that was going to happen!

wordslikeswords · June 2010

He didn't come to the first one but he has come to all the susbequent ones that weren't b/w u/s ones.

jdeez27 · June 2010

I had mine come with me. I tend to not really listen when I'm nervous so I was afraid I'd walk out of my appt and have no idea what the RE said. He also just likes to be involved in whatever he can be.

Blasianlove · June 2010

Nope. My RE never asked for him to come either. I answered the questions about him and dropped off his SA. I think u/s visits will be just as minimal and I don't mind. First u/s and gender u/s I will want him to be there.

rebelina1 · June 2010

MH went with me and I was so glad he was there. The RE asked a lot of questions about both of our medical histories and I wouldn't have had any of the answers for him.

Our RE also set up DH's SA at that appt. and came up with our game plan. I wouldn't have wanted to make any of those decisions without MH.

Nova726 · June 2010

DH still hasn't met our RE. He works nights and that's when all my appts with the RE are. I did point him out when we saw him around in the hospital but that's about it.

PocketofSunshine09 · June 2010

No my Husband didn't come with me to the first apt. They mailed us a packet of information to fill out prior to our consult so he had everything filled out then. He will be coming to the next apt tho when we go over all our tests results and decide what the next step is.

morgs8384 · June 2010

Mine went with me. Our RE went over a lot of history for both sides of our families. Also, went over a vague idea of where we would be headed. If i had to go to our first appointment again, i would have him there. HTH and GOODLUCK!

baloneydisc · June 2010

Mine did, but that was because he was doing his SA at the same time & I was worried I would have a bad experience with my SHG. If I hadn't had to call him to come get me when I got my IUD put in I probably wouldn't have been concerned about it. Besides sitting down filling out paperwork I didn't see him at all until the appointment was over.

imoverit · June 2010

MH did not go with me and I'm glad he didn't because it wasn't necessary. He will be going to my f/u appointment to review test results. I would have liked him there if I had never joined TTC though because I learned so much from the girls on here that I was able to understand what the Dr. was saying. Otherwise it would have gone over my head.

hgrossm · June 2010

My was there and it was helpful. My RE asked my DH if he wanted an SA on the spot and he did, right then and there, now waiting. I did bloodwork at the same time. DH is also helpful and balancing me out because I tend to ask more questions in my head than in person because I want people to like me. DH made sure all of ours were asked and answered. It just depends and what is comfortable for you guys.

ecleptic · June 2010

It takes two people to get pregnant. Three if you count the RE. It makes sense to me to have all three of you in the same place to start.

He didn't have to be there. He didn't add anything in the first appointment which mostly went over the process of testing and our history. That said, he was firmly told by an authority figure that he had to do a SA before the end of my next cycle and suggested that we make that appointment that day. Some girls have problems corralling their husbands into that appointment- it was much easier to let the doctor be the aggressive one about demanding the SA.

He also had what was going to happen to me explained to him. What we (girls) go through in the name of a diagnosis isn't something that should be glossed over. It's not the end of the world, but a HSG sucks a lot more than a SA. Instead of me simply leaving him behind for every appointment and coming home complaining about a mysterious HSG or the mysterious "dildo cam"- he had the things he couldn't attend explained by a doctor and the doc suggested that he attend at least one monitoring appointment so he could see what went on.

After the first appointment, he was an obvious attendee since our biggest obstacle right now is MFI and there's no way in hell I was going to be the one to explain the results. The doc gets paid enough to handle that discussion.

mrsarjiltobe · July 2010

DH didn't go with me to my first appt. We were sent a packet in the mail to complete and return with all the necessary info/questions. I did fine on my own. DH is not comfortable at doctors offices or hospitals, and I am since I work in a hospital, so I was fine going on my own. He did drive me to & from my HSG, but he didn't go in with me, which was probably better off. I guess it would depend on your individual situation, and how comfortable you are.

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