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InACitySoNice
member
Why Do They Stare at YOU?
InACitySoNice
member
I've realized over the past week that people stare at us a lot. And in NYC, that's saying a lot because no one stares much here for fear of getting the spit beat out of them.
That being said, they stare. There could be lots of reasons:
Interracial couple.
Biracial daughters.
Trying to figure out if I'm the nanny. (I still get asked this at least once a week)
Trying to figure out if the kids are mine.
When people smile, it's okay. But when they don't, it's not so okay.
So why do people stare at you? And how do you feel about it?
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Re: Why Do They Stare at YOU?
- i am short (only 5'0)
- I look a lot younger than I am so they look to see if I have a wedding ring or not. (Assume I am a young single mom)
- I have PCOS and have the excessive hair growth from it.
It does bother me some but I try not to let it get to me too much. The PCOS part has been going on for over 10 years so I have gotten used to it somewhat.
I get stared at because I'm covered in tattoos. LOL. And I have 3 incredibly cute, well behaved children. I think it blows people's minds... like b/c of the tattoos I should be some sort of drug addicted, neglectful/abusive, horrible parent and my kids should be out of control.
Honestly, at this point I don't care. I know I'm a good parent. My kids are awesome. We just go about our business. And I cover up in important situations like at Sophi's school and stuff so nobody passes judgment on her b/c of what I look like.
And if I happen to be having a not so friendly day I have no problems shooting people the hairy eyeball. Oooh, or my favorite thing to do is to mimic the face their making... it takes them a second to realize that's what's going on but when then do, it's priceless.
I feel you on the interracial relationship deal... people are obnoxious. I think we've talked about this before maybe? But Sophi's dad is African & Indian.. people here in KY/Cinci just didn't know what to do when they saw us together... Even some of my own family who claim to not have issues like that... I'll never ever forget what my grandma said when I called her to tell her Sophi had been born... "Well, how black is she?". I had never experienced the urge to smack my Grandma before that phone call.
Anyway... I'm sorry people stare. When will the world get over it!?!
most I get now is b/c I'm taller, but I wore a brace for my scoliosis when I was age 10-17. Although it wasn't the huge neck cage thingy in Sixteen Candles (???) it had bars that went just over my shoulders, and had a large plastic pelvic thing. I compensated for this by wearing the same hot pink hooded sweatshirt. For all 7 yrs. lol. People couldn't quite tell WTF was up with me, but I was really stiff and straight. I had a SUPER hard time with this brace, and at the time, thought I was a 4-headed freak. Hindsight, it was just prepping me for the struggle now. Showing me I was tough, lol.
That's really odd you get stares in NYC. odd. Perhaps they're just more blunt about it than they are here? ;-)
- I have a baby and am HAVING a baby lol
- Cora hardly ever wears shoes - flame away
- Cora is SUPER pale, bald, and chunky
- Lil J has about 100 silly bandz on his arms (silly rubber bands that are shaped like animals, etc)
- Yesterday I let Lil J wear two different shoes to play in the yard. he was being super good, so it was like a "reward" - but I totally forgot that he was still wearing different shoes until I noticed it while we were IN the grocery store oops lol
When I was younger, I was always stared at because i was a teen mom and looked much younger. I was 19, but looked about 14. I have been mistaken for his sister, even in the current day.
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Ha, I had some older woman stop me in the grocery to tell me I should put shoes on my baby. Sure lady, you fight that battle and see how far you get. It's 87 degrees out, not 27!
But I think a lot of older people remember how babies used to wear those ankle-high sneakers when learning to walk -- the ones parents used to bronze!
I've read that barefoot is ideal for learning/early walkers!
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
I get this for real. Big BFing boobs and hard nips most of the time...ugh.
I swear people also look at my belly and I always wonder if they think I'm pregnant. This is a belly that I did not have prior to my pregnancy!! Maybe I'm just self-conscious and am looking for it.
If I nursed in public (which I don't do anymore b/c it's not really necessary, he nurses so litte), I'm sure I'd get looks given Cal's age/size.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
- We have twins (that alone is enough, I think)
- We have three under 2
- We have all girls
- Ava is often either tantruming or squirming out of the cart/stroller/our arms trying to get something
- I look pretty young (hell, I am pretty young) to have three kids
When we go anywhere as a family, I feel like we're circus freaks! Last night we took FIL out to dinner to thank him for all the work he just did on our house. Even though we went to a loud, kid-friendly place for an early dinner, we still looked crazy for attempting to take all three out to dinner. It was an experiment I won't be trying again any time soon.
My ped told us that shoes are not really needed at her age. I think it is a "old school" thing
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I think they stare 'cuz I'm SO HOT. LOL!!!
Actually I don't notice anyone staring at me. I am too boring for anyone to stare at. I never even noticed anyone staring when Jack was in his helmet, and I definitely thought I would at that time in our lives. Seriously. I'm like, invisible. Weird. (Although that's the way I like it. I am most comfortable flying under-the-radar.)
"When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame
I have a very small 16 month old (who just learned to walk) and a new baby - who is also very small. I was in Starbucks with just the newborn and people thought I had just come home from the hospital...she was 3 weeks old at the time! People keep stopping me to tell me I must have my hands full (really, I didn't notice!).
I brought DS to the playground today with DD in the Baby Bjorn. I was so afraid of either of them getting sunburned, so DS was covered in sunblock and wearing his hat (which was a hand me down and camouflage print), and DD was wearing a pink hat and my nursing cover over the Bjorn to keep the sun off of her arms/legs. I got a lot of looks for that one!