Just Need to Vent
I am at the point where I just want to scream and cry and punch something.
I just got done talking to DD's day care about what we are going to do once little man comes. They are being wonderful about me having two there and are giving me a pretty big discount. Even with the big discount day care is going to cost me 59% of my take home pay. Rent already runs me 37% of my take home pay. I am stuck in my lease until November. I suppose I could find somewhere a little cheaper, but not by too much if I want to stay in a safe place. So, we are up to 96% of my take home pay, without any of my other bills, or gas, or groceries.
I make far too much to qualify for any assistance, and I won't be getting a raise at work until at least April.
I hate that I have busted my butt and I am still struggling. STBXH doesn't help with anything. It isn't fair that I have to take care of everything and he is just doing whatever he wants.
I am in the process of filing for alimony and child support, but it seems to be taking forever. Even once the court orders him to pay I doubt he will, even though that comes with big consequences.
Thanks if you got through all that. I just needed to have a pity party for myself.
Re: Just Need to Vent
I'm sorry you're going through all this.
Hugs!
Do you have a hearing date or any timeline for when the alimony and child support will be finalized? Can it be garnished from his wages (I honestly have no idea how that works)?
I should get the date for our scheduling conference soon. I assume that conference will happen in about a month, and then they will set dates for everything after that.
STBXH is choosing to be unemployed, so there is really nothing to be garnished. He is getting the GI Bill, so they may be able to garnish that.
I'm so, so sorry about this. I don't know how half of the people who have their kids in daycare can afford it. Even though daycare workers aren't paid much, it's still so dang expensive! I have more than a couple friends who either can't afford another child or are going to wait until their LO is school age before having another for this very reason.
I'm sure you've thought of this, but are there any other providers you can consider? Family members who can watch your kids? DS is at one of the less expensive daycares in town (although it's the only one I would consider having him at after interviewing with 20+), and it's still close to $1000 per month. I live in a more expensive city, but still! I really hope that his GI Bill can be garnished.
When we were a two income family we did plan to wait until DD was in school to have another. STBXH was a SAHD, which is the only reason we planned the second when we did. There is no way I would have planned to have 2 in day care at the same time, even when we had two incomes coming in.
Tif- I am right outside Baltimore. Child care here is comparable to the DC area. It is insane how expensive it is. I have had some VERY bad experiences with day cares, nanny's, and SAHM's. I wouldn't feel comfortable with the kids anywhere else right now. I wish I had family that is home that could watch them, but unfortunately that isn't an option.
I am hoping any praying that sometime soon the court will be able to get me money for the kids, but not knowing is hard.
Thanks ladies!
I am sorry if I sound combative. I promise I am usually not in this crappy of a mood.
I don't qualify for the child care assistance. Without posting my income all over the internet, I would have to get a job taking a huge pay cut to qualify. I actually calculated and if I quit my job and got a minimum wage job with the assistance I would qualify for I would end up taking home more money. I am certainly not prepared to do that though.
That is some messed up stuff, isn't it?
I am sorry you are going through this! Is there any way you can live with a roomie or family member to help cut costs?
If it makes you feel any better I am in a similar situation. XH is no longer paying anything and it makes me crazy. However, it also makes me realize I am strong and can find a way to make things work WITHOUT him, which makes me feel fantastic about myself.
You are a strong, wonderful mama and you are doing the right thing. Your ex will get what's coming to him, I PROMISE.
Hang in there mama! We all LOVE you!