Washington Babies

This time it hurts.

I just found out that a former friend of mine is pregnant.  She dated and married a guy who didn't know if he even wanted kids, even though she was desperate to be a mother.  For years, she'd ask him about it and he'd put her off.  I got married a few yrs after she did, and DH and I started trying (we both wanted kids right away).  Apparently, she must have gotten her DH to come around somehow, started trying, and now she's pg already.  And here I am still trying.

I haven't felt too sad, bitter, or jealous about other people getting lucky faster than we are b/c I know everyone is different.  It has been starting to get to me lately, though.  And this one does hurt.

Ah well.  Thanks for "listening."  :-)

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Married 10/5/08 | 2 yrs of TTC, tests, procedures & a m/c | IVF #2 =James!

Re: This time it hurts.

  • Before I had DD I wanted a baby so badly it hurt. Now, once I got pregnant I had a holy sh!t moment LOL as I think a lot of people do. But before that, it would get to me sometimes, seeing people with babies.

    I'm sorry that you and DH have had such a tough time TTC. I know it's got to be tough. I hope things work out when your fertility treatments start back up again.

    Hang in there! :)

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  • Hugs.  I can only imagine the pain you feel each time you hear about another pregnancy.  I keep you in my prayers and I cannot wait for the day that you get to hold your little miracleSleep in your arms. 

    ETA: Okay, that little moon is weird - I was trying to pluralize miracle..

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  • HUGS Lexi!!! I can imagine it would be so hard hearing that news.

    Back in early 2008 I had a miscarriage and 2 weeks later my twin brother & his wife announced they were pregnant. I can't tell you how much I cried & cried that day after I got that phone call. I was so happy for them yet all I could think about was how much I wanted it to be ME!

    I am so sorry that your road to becomming a Mom is a hard one. Sometimes these things happen for a reason & by the sounds of things you and your DH are more than ready to become parents. I have faith that your turn will come, so hang in there as tough as it can be! We are all here for you xxx 

    collage Cooper Flynn is 3 years old and growing! May 10,2009 Miscarriage April 2008 Ectopic pregnancy August 2011
  • That is tough sweetie.  Hang in there.  (((HUGS)))

    Jen - Mom to Jillian (10/2008) and Hayden (4/2010)

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  • I'm so sorry. I was pretty good at not being sad and bitter when we were TTC but sometimes it just sneaks up and punches you in the gut. I Know it's really hard. I hope this next ivf puts an end to your wait.
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  • Big hugs, Lexi. Your feelings are totally normal and understandable, it must be so hard especially when it's someone who wasn't sure if they even wanted kids. We are here for you any time!
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  • :( I am so sorry Lexi. I don't blame you for feeling hurt. I'm with kaskade, I can't wait until you get to meet your future babies. We are all rooting for you lady!!!
    TTC #1 Sept 2008
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    Madeline Rey DOB 9/30/10
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    imageMcJen715:
    :( I am so sorry Lexi. I don't blame you for feeling hurt. I'm with kaskade, I can't wait until you get to meet your future babies. We are all rooting for you lady!!!

    This. I know how you feel, and it sucks. Hugs, lady.

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  • I'm so sorry Lexi!  I can imagine that it would hurt.  When we found out about my pregnancy (x3) I bawled my eyes out with guilt when we told our best friends who can't have babies.  Well, they can't have them without IVF and they can't afford it.  I felt it was so unfair.  I can't wait until the day that you find you have a sticky baby, and the day you become a mommy! :)
    Love: 8/2000 | Marriage: 7/2005 | Baby makes three: 3/28/2007 | And one more makes...SIX?
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  • I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how hard it must be being faced wth this situation. HUGE HUGS
    Dawn - Wife of Brian 09/25/2005 - Mother of Eli Jace 03/12/2007 and Kai Evan 10/17/08

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  • I'm sorry L - I know exactly what you're talking about. After we lost our first baby, my bonus sister and then my brother-in-law (and his then girlfriend) both announced pregnancies to the family. It was within weeks, and that hurt almost as bad as the miscarriage. It hurts like hell. Then the salt in the wound was when bonus sister had the abortion. It's a low, sad place, and I know how it can hurt. We're here - I'm here even if you want to email me. I know we aren't exactly neighbors, but if you need to get together, I'll be there.
    Married! | July 15, 2005 | It's a Girl! | January 31, 2009 | It's a Girl! | July 21, 2011
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  • imagekaskade:

    Hugs.  I can only imagine the pain you feel each time you hear about another pregnancy.  I keep you in my prayers and I cannot wait for the day that you get to hold your little miracleSleep in your arms. 

    ETA: Okay, that little moon is weird - I was trying to pluralize miracle..

    You were just adding some Lucky Charms to your post. Smile

    Moon = pot of gold

    Married! | July 15, 2005 | It's a Girl! | January 31, 2009 | It's a Girl! | July 21, 2011
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  • Right after I had my miscarriage, I went to the baby shower for a close family friend that had gotten pregnant on accident.  It was baby #3 for them.  When I got home that night, I cried for hours - it just all seemed so unfair, even though I was happy for my friend.

    And - I haven't had the challenges you have, Lexi.  What you're feeling is so totally normal.

    I have to believe that things are going to work out for you and you're going to hold your baby in your arms some day.  Just keep believing that yourself.

  • Oh I'm so sorry!  I know how you feel.  After we'd been trying for a while and told I had infertility issues, I thought we'd never get pregnant - and just that year was SO hard.  I felt like everyone was having babies and leaving me behind.  I had a hard time not feeling bitter about H's cousins and a few acquaintances who got pregnant and didn't seem to care or want it very badly beforehand...even though I acted happy for them on the outside, on the inside I was so so bitter.  H didn't understand why it hurt me so much.  Then when we finally got pregnant, I didn't want to tell my other friends who were also struggling with trying.  One of them hasn't talked with me since, but I don't blame her at all.

    I wish I knew the right words to say to you, other than you shouldn't feel guilty for feeling bad (as long as you're not mean to her, I suppose).  Hugs to you!  You are going to be an amazing mama!

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    Unable to even.  

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  • I'm so sorry Lexi!  Its so hard when you hear things like that and it feels like such a blow.  I know its going to happen for you!!!  ((Hugs))
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  • I too am sorry!!  Major hugs coming your way!

  • Lexi...I'm so sorry. You are always in my thoughts! HUGS!
    {The artist formerly known as JRS72206}
  • I can relate and totally feel your pain. It seems that the longer it takes, the harder it is to hear others getting PG so easily. Big hugs to you, and I'm here if you need to talk!
    Married ~ August 5, 2006 I Welcomed our baby girl March 16, 2012 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm so sorry Lexi. I'm sending huge hugs your way.

  • I have been there too.  It is SO hard to stay positive when it seems like every other day you hear of someone new is pregnant.  I know things will happen for you and your DH and your baby (-ies) will be so perfect you will be glad it happened when it did! :) If you ever need anything feel free to ask :)
  • Thank you all so much for your support and for sharing your own personal experiences!!!  I know this will pass and we'll have our day.  It's just taking way too long. :-)  Oh, and I'll take all the Lucky Charms and gold coins you're offering! 

    imageMrsAmyB:
    Well, they can't have them without IVF and they can't afford it.  I felt it was so unfair.

    Amy, I'm assuming they have an RE who told them they need IVF.  We used a 3rd party fertility finance company to do out last IVF, and will be using them again for this one.  The cost is still up there, but significantly less than what the clinic charges (nearly half the cost).  It's a stretch for us to afford this, too (we'd rather save the money for when the baby is here & not on getting pg), but this made it easier to handle.  Let me know if you'd like the info to send to your friend.  I don't know if your friend is local, but at least 2 of the Seattle-area fertility clinics accept the finance program.  And it's a national company, so she may be able to use wherever she is. 

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    Married 10/5/08 | 2 yrs of TTC, tests, procedures & a m/c | IVF #2 =James!
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