we were approached again!! — The Bump
Adoption

we were approached again!!

someone the dh works with is due in october with a little boy and they want to put him up for adoption....and we came to mind since we have adopted already. dh is a little leary about it but its such an awesome opportunity to do again. the boys would be so close and i would love the fact that they are both different in the same way, they both have a story but are both loved in such a real way. we have some friends who want to adopt as well so we could refer them to this couple but i am having mixed feelings.

what would you guys do?? give our first ds all the attention and not think about babies for a little while, or even though it would be hard try to make it work??

Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers



TTC since 2005
missed miscarriage nov 2006- 4 failed clomid cycles-
3 failed femara iui cycles-
moving on to IVF oct 2011
ER nov. 7th
tansfered 2 blasts on 11/10
lots of +hpt!!
beta #1 on 11/21= 50.4
beta #2 on11/23= 90.8
another miscarriage 12/23
moving on to Round 2 of IVF with an auto immune dx
ER 4/23-retrieved 12 eggs
ET 4/28 3 transfered
Beta #1- 356
Beta #2- 870

Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

Re: we were approached again!!

  • I think I would want to consider it...I know that for us personally, we plan to adopt again.  If an opportunity came up, I would want to seriously think about it. 

    Talk with your dh and look at all of the pros and cons about adopting the baby earlier rather than down the road.  You'll just have to see what you think is best for your situation and your family.  Good luck -- let us know what you decide!

  • Assuming the cost is lower than an agency adoption, I'd be drawn to consider it too.

    But I would be concerned with the person working at the same company as DH.  That's a little too close for comfort....but I'd probably still consider it.

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
  • image silliestbunny:

    Assuming the cost is lower than an agency adoption, I'd be drawn to consider it too.

    But I would be concerned with the person working at the same company as DH.  That's a little too close for comfort....but I'd probably still consider it.

    I agree I think i would be leary of working with a birthmom unless its a big company.its kinda like dating a coworker it can go really good or really bad. its definatly something I would consider though

    Proud Momma of our daughter Charlie! She found her forever home August 2010 Hope to be the proud momma of #2 in July
  • I would consider it as well although I agree with silliestbunny that I would be concerned with the person working with DH. I definitely think it's something for you and your DH to discuss.

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I wouldn't. I would give yourself time with your DS, just getting to know him and enjoy him.

     

    When we started the adoption process when our DS was 1 I was terrified of losing time with him as a baby. Well now that he is almost 20 months I'm starting to feel ready again to have another baby because now he isn't a baby anymore. I am so grateful I have had that time with just him.  Some days I kick myself for hoping another baby comes soon, because my time with him is so precious.

    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers image
  • Sounds exciting and it will be great to hear what the outcome is.  I wanted to chime in since my two are close in age.  Although it is great in many ways, there are many ways that I wish they weren't so close in age.  I wouldn't change my situation for the world, but I do wish I had thought about the 'after' reality a little more.

    Are you ready to have child #2 (financially, emotionally)?  The sleepless nights, the challenges of a newborn with 3/4 months old as well?  Are you ready to split your attention (although your love will double, the attention is challenging)?

    Are you ready for even more questions about adoption?  It's never ending for us because our children aren't twins, but people don't understand 4 month age difference.  Initially this was really hard for us to handle, but it has gotten better.

    Having two with a slightly different age difference has been challenging because they are at vastly different stages until at least a couple years of age.  Sometimes I forget that one is not developmentally ready to do things the other is.  It's not unbearably challenging, but just something to think about.

     

  • I would say yes in a heartbeat!  It's such a personal decision, though, so there is no right or wrong response.
  • image mrsdrkwaver:
    image silliestbunny:

    Assuming the cost is lower than an agency adoption, I'd be drawn to consider it too.

    But I would be concerned with the person working at the same company as DH.  That's a little too close for comfort....but I'd probably still consider it.

    I agree I think i would be leary of working with a birthmom unless its a big company.its kinda like dating a coworker it can go really good or really bad. its definatly something I would consider though

    This is me.

    imageimage

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Anniversary
  • The only thing that would make me want to refer them to your friends who are adopting is the fact that your DH works with one of them.

    That's a huge negative in my mind.  In a typical open adoption, there is enough situation and when you see each other it's wonderful b/c it doesn't happen on a daily basis and you're happy to see each other.  I would imagine in a worst case scenario that it could get very sticky seeing each other daily, especially if the birth parent is having a hard time of it (Payton's birthmother says the bad days come in waves), plus everyone in your office knowing both of your stories/business.  I don't know, I just think it's very complicated and I wouldn't want to mix my personal business with work.

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards