feeling pretty glum. — The Bump
Adoption

feeling pretty glum.

I just need to vent.

I have been speaking with our agency and they have all sorts of situations that they will be showing our profile to, which is good.  But they all seem like pretty dismal scenes.  Birth fathers planning to contest the adoption, high chances of moms parenting, extended drug use and worse...

I don't expect any situation to be perfect, but it seems that we get all the crazy situations.  And to make matters worse, I inquired about a mom they told us a while ago they were going to show our profile to and it turns out she didn't pick us, and she had the baby and placed the baby. I can't help but feel that all the easy situations go to other people while we get the crap shoots.

I'm trying not to be down today, but I just feel that way.  I swear every time they tell us about a mom they give us all the reasons to be Leary of the situation, knowing full well it might not go through.  I am grateful they tell us, so we can be prepared, it just seems too much to take sometimes.

 

Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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Re: feeling pretty glum.

  • Sorry you are feeling down.....I've definitely been there before. 
    This process is tough to say the least!

    After a year and several months of waiting, we started to actively pursue situations outside of our agency.  It gave me a sense of control (ya, right!!).  I was so discouraged just sitting and waiting...and being disappointed.

    Hugs to you :)

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
  • I'm sorry you're feeling down.

    Your agency didn't tell you that the BM didn't pick you for that previous situation? Our SW told us that is the crappiest part of her job-calling the potential adoptive parents and telling them they were not chosen.

    I hope your day picks up and you start feeling not so glumy.

    After 3 failed IUIs, we welcomed our daughter through adoption. She is the love of my life.

    imageimage

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  • I'm sorry you're having a rough time and that the wait has been so hard.  It must be hard to stay positive when you are being told of all of the negatives. Yes, I would want to know the negatives, too, and be prepared, but it doesn't make it any easier.

    Thinking of you, MayDay.

  • I'm sorry you are having a rough time! I'm right there with you. Hopefully we will both get sticky matches VERY SOON!!!
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  • Sorry about the glum day.  If it's any consolation, I'm with you.  We had a potential match that I was very excited about. Just found out that the BM lied about everything (medical condition, drug use, etc), so we had to say no.  This process is SO draining.  But, I still hold out hope that you and I (and everyone on this board) will get to be mothers (oops, or fathers) soon.

    Good luck!

  • image MayDayGirl:

    I'm trying not to be down today, but I just feel that way.  I swear every time they tell us about a mom they give us all the reasons to be Leary of the situation, knowing full well it might not go through.  I am grateful they tell us, so we can be prepared, it just seems too much to take sometimes.

     

    While our agency is foster care, they do the SAME thing to us. We had to have long drawn out meetings over whether Jaxon would be a good fit, whether we'd be okay with him possibly not being able to return affection, etc. Then came Trent and we had to have long discussions about him and his drug exposure and what it could have done to him. They make it seem all scary, which potentionally it could be. 

     

    Sorry you're down today. Tomorrow will be better! :)

  • Sorry your so glum I dont have any advice just hugs hang it there its a tough road I know but we all make through
    Proud Momma of our daughter Charlie! She found her forever home August 2010 Hope to be the proud momma of #2 in July
  • I don't have anything to offer advice wise either, but I am reading your posts so keep venting when you need to. ?:)
    Left, Right
  • I am sorry you are having such a hard time getting a successful placement. It really is so unfair. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. {hugs}
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