I guess this is why you don't tell people you are pregnant

Scout05 · June 2010

when you have the fun habit of being not pregnant a week later.

I just never told my sister we miscarried. I don't know why. I guess...No, I know. I just couldn't go through another "I'm sorry, this sucks" conversation. I am so EFFING SICK of telling people I once again failed.

My mom just emailed me to say "your sister didn't know you weren't still pregnant. She's upset."

Which, I don't blame her for being.

I feel like an ass. Esp. since I don't really want to call, even now.

Scout05 · June 2010

Also, I just sort of figured my mom would tell her. Which is totally passing the buck on the dirty work.

lindsay.lou · June 2010

ambrandau2:
Also, I just sort of figured my mom would tell her. Which is totally passing the buck on the dirty work.

Your mom definitely should have told her right away. Your sister should be upset with your mom, not you.

Mocha Girl · June 2010

I'm so sorry, Allison (((hugs)))

I hate "untelling" people and having the same conversation over and over...

:::thinking about you:::

writergirl5786 · June 2010

ummm....yeah. we haven't told DH's brother or sister. and we haven't told any of my family. my family's all on vacation and i just couldn't bring myself to ruin their vacation. so we're waiting until they get home tomorrow. only DH's parent's and my best friend. this totally sucks.

ashleyy0219 · June 2010

lindsay.lou:
ambrandau2:
Also, I just sort of figured my mom would tell her. Which is totally passing the buck on the dirty work.
Your mom definitely should have told her right away. Your sister should be upset with your mom, not you.

I agree with with. (((hugs)))

Shemico · June 2010

*hugs* you're mom definitly should have let her know and even if she didn't your sister has no right to be upset you didn't call. You don't have to call her hun. Now is the time to take care of you, you can explain to her later.

sunshinenva · June 2010

Allison I agree with the others your mom should have helped you out and handled the situation. I hate to sound mean, but this isn't about other people and their feelings, this about the loss you and your husband suffered. You don't owe anyone an apology. HUGS

ShellShockedMama · June 2010

she's upset? I'm sorry, I didn't realize the people who hadn't lost a baby were allowed to be upset at the person who did .

your mom should have, at the very least, smoothed things over with your sister, make her "un-upset" and not bother you with this.

I get that she's your sister and all, and I assume you're close (I don't really know what that's like) but still, she has no right to be upset in this instance.

AppleRidge · June 2010

ambrandau2:
Also, I just sort of figured my mom would tell her. Which is totally passing the buck on the dirty work.

I think that's a perfectly reasonable thing to expect. I know that's the way it's worked in my family.

3ltlones · June 2010

yeah, untelling sucks. I don't think your sister should be upset with you, I'm sure when you lost the baby you weren't thinking I better call my sister. You were thinking about yourself and DH. It's ok, don't be so hard on yourself, I would have assumed Mom would tell too. I'm sure when you talk to her she won't be upset anymore. Hugs.

butterfly843 · June 2010

((hugs)) so sorry. I think your mom should have told her.

OCIrishBruin · June 2010

(((hugs))) honey. You are not an ass. I'm sure your sister understands.

Scout05 · June 2010

I'm not upset with them, really. And I think she is more "upset" that it happened and she didn't know and couldn't offer support than she is mad.

I feel bad that I am being selfish and not letting people in. That's not really how we are, or at all how I have been in the past, so my mom probably just figured I had told her all ready.

You may have noticed, I am a really open person (obvious understatement). We don't do secrets in my family - which I LOVE about us - and we talk about everything.

It scares me that I'm shutting down, to be honest. The four times before, I didn't have that impulse. This one is just throwing me.

celestej619 · June 2010

(((hugs)))

mdm2137 · June 2010

I'm sorry Allison.

schen0510 · June 2010

I know...it totally sucks. I'm sorry you are going through this again. ((hugs))

superluper · June 2010

Ugh. That just sucks. Sorry. ((Big fat hugs))

BeachCole · June 2010

((HUGS)) I'm so sorry honey.

triple_sevens · June 2010

I don't blame you, Allison. There are horrible conversations to have. I couldn't do it *once*-- we made our parents tell our siblings and sent out one e-mail to our close friends. I can't imaging going through that torture 4+ times. Don't beat yourself up for this.

Court1 · June 2010

lindsay.lou:

ambrandau2:
Also, I just sort of figured my mom would tell her. Which is totally passing the buck on the dirty work.

Your mom definitely should have told her right away. Your sister should be upset with your mom, not you.

Agreed. You shouldn't have to worry about others feelings related to this. Period. You've got enough to worry about without holding others hands through it.

ScorpioWifey77 · June 2010

ambrandau2:
It scares me that I'm shutting down, to be honest. The four times before, I didn't have that impulse. This one is just throwing me.

I find myself doing the same thing, even with the if treatments I don't want to tell anyone...

I think it's a defense mechanism. Hang in there! Left Hug Right Hug

dondraandluis · June 2010

I'm sorry hon. I don't think you should feel like an ass at all. I hate having those conversations too (((hugs)))

pepomntpat · June 2010

Actually I think it is fair for you to ask your mom to help you with this stuff. You really shouldn't have to worry about how your miscarriage affects others. Not right now. No one is more upset than you are. {hugs}

rjl07 · June 2010

I agree that your mom should have just told her for you. The last thing I felt like doing was telling people what happened and worrying about their feelings.

BabyMimi · June 2010

ShellShockedMama:
she's upset? I'm sorry, I didn't realize the people who hadn't lost a baby were allowed to be upset at the person who did .
your mom should have, at the very least, smoothed things over with your sister, make her "un-upset" and not bother you with this.
I get that she's your sister and all, and I assume you're close (I don't really know what that's like) but still, she has no right to be upset in this instance.

I agree with Allison! Way to make it all about her. She's upset LOL. People never cease to amaze me.

I know she is your sister but I think she should be a little bit more understanding. Sometimes when people are sad, they just don't want to pick up the phone. I don't get why people don't get this.

BabyMimi · June 2010

Woopsie. Double Post.

Clerk9 · June 2010

I'm so sorry. Sometimes you just don't want to talk to anyone, & that's okay. I'm sure your family understands. Have you thought about counseling to maybe get some of your feelings out to an impartial 3rd party? (I should take my own advice...) Especially since you're worried about shutting down & not acting like yourself.

((HUGS)) Hang in there. We're here if you need support.

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