- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Alabama Babies
MissLMS
member
NBR: Article on marriage in your 20's
MissLMS
member
https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2010/06/09/DI2010060905873.html
What do yall think about this? Thoughts?
While I know the chance of divorce goes down dramatically if you wait until 25 or later, I also think that it would vary on your location, your education level, income level, etc.
While I am personally glad I did not get married in college or immediately after, I have a hard time believing that is the right choice for everyone...
mmc and d&c at 8.5 weeks - 8/23/2010
natural m/c and d&c at 10 weeks - 1/24/2014
DX w/ hetero C677t and A1298C MTHFR - 3/4/2014
natural m/c and d&c at 10 weeks - 1/24/2014
DX w/ hetero C677t and A1298C MTHFR - 3/4/2014
This discussion has been closed.
Re: NBR: Article on marriage in your 20's
I think marriage is different for everyone. To me, it depends on your maturity and life goals, not a specific age.
For us, we started dating in high school, continued dating throught college (4 years long-distance...in two different states), then got married 6 months after I graduated and moved back home.
My biggest opinion about marriages today is that too many people go into saying, "If this doesn't work, we can always get a divorce." To me, divorce is too widely accepted these days!
ETA: I was 22 (very close to 23) and DH was 25 when we got married.
DH and I married young. I was 23 and he was 24 but we were a lot more mature than others our age. We did not rush into having children just because we were married. LO will be here the first of September and September 27th DH and I will celebrate 7 wonderful years of marriage. Getting married young allowed us to enjoy life, travel and get to know each other before we decided to have children. I understand the older you are when you marry you may not have as much time to do those things if you are considering having children and there is nothing wrong with that. Every couple is different. I met DH when I was young and I knew he was the one person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with so why wait 4-5 years to marry.
I think maturity and life goals are more important than age. A couple of my friends got married when they were 20/21 years old and they are still going strong 9/10 years later and it was what worked for them.
If you are ready then you are ready...whether you are 20 or 40. Age is just a number.
My thoughts are that these two people are spouting a bunch of fairly obvious things mixed in with some nonsense, and have found a way to make money off of it. "Marriage is best between two grown ups". Really, Einstein? LOL!
The stats on living together before marriage as well as divorce being less likely when people wait have been around a few years now, and there are a lot of factors that affect that-not to mention, statistics like that can always be skewed anyway, it's just the nature of them.
It is common sense that you should have a sense of self and be able to take care of yourself financially when you get married. As they noted in one answer, the perception of this has drastically changed in recent years. People used to be grown ups at 20, now they are still considered 'kids'. And for a variety of reasons, people become financially independent later. But, not everyone is that way, and they make it sound like a given. It's also dismissive to say that women have 10 'categories' of things that must be met before they'll be happy and successful in marriage.
My parents were married at 20 and were very mature at the time for their age and given their circumstances-and have been married 34 years.
At 18/19, DH and I were living together, working through college, and paying our own bills together. We were not children anymore, ya know? I wasn't 'single' and I was happy. We got married at 21 and 22 . It is definitely not for everyone, but you can't paint with a wide brush about these things. We were far more responsible and ready for marriage, than a lot of people we knew that are older than us.
I agree w/ others. We were married at 22/24. However, we waited 5 years before having a child in order to really get to know each other and enjoyed doing things such as traveling, many dates, etc. before bringing a little one into our lives.
I think that ever situation is different. I also know people in their 30s who have basically rushed to find a man, become engaged, get married and have children. Some of these people have really struggled as well b/c they barely knew each other before 1-getting married, but most importantly-developing their relationship and really getting to know one another before bringing a child into the mix.
the thought of the "what if" I had married any guy I dated in college makes me laugh hysterically... My ideals are so much different now than they were back then.
I think a big factor is when you decide to have kids. Not that it's a sure fire way of staying together longer but I defintely think waiting until you're solid in your marriage before having children is really important. So what if you got married when you were 18? If you have been able to stay together for YEARS before you have children - that means you've been thru a Lot of ups and downs and haven't called it quits yet... ya know?
the same goes for someone who is in their 30's - and pushes the fast forward button on engagement and marriage - JUST so they can have kids... Do they have a solid relationship to fall back on? probably not because their energies have been put towards having a baby, parenting, etc and not on the spouse (because let's face it... babies take a lot of time - you just odn't have the same amount of time you had for your spouse).
If we looked at the odds of a 20 year old and a 30 year old meeting someone, getting engaged, married, and kids on the same fast track time line, - I'd put money on the 30 year old's relationship lasting longer than the 20 year olds - and that is due to the maturity level and knowing more of what you need in a healthy relationship (30 year old) - not just the fantasy of it all working out (20 year old)