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BFing in Public
After reading that article on the preschooler, I googled the Kim Kardashian slam on public breastfeeding. I also began to think about my friend who got slammed by a store owner when we her son began to scream and she quickly put him under her nursing cover to feed him. I was so angry! Now, I am just sitting here annoyed with how rude people can be to breastfeeding mothers.
I am wondering, if you plan to BF, will you do so in public?
If so, will you cover up? Why or why not?
How will you respond to looks and comments if they occur?
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Re: BFing in Public
I've been nursing my daughter in public from an early age. We never used a cover. I have small breasts and it's easy to be discreet. I used to use a scarf instead of a cover--it kind of hid the action without cover her head and screaming "hey we're nursing!"
I've never gotten any looks or comments.
I BF when my baby is hungry. In private, in public, doesn't matter. Before I had DD, I thought I'd just bring a bottle of breastmilk with me, but once I figured out that BF'ing is a supply/demand system and giving a bottle in public meant that I had to find a place to pump in public, too... well, it just seemed easier to just nurse.
With both kids, I covered up for about the first three months. Newborns can take a while to latch on, and I didn't feel comfortable being "out there" while they did. Now, I just lift my shirt a tiny bit and DS has a radar for my nipple
So I find it MORE discreet to nurse with no cover. A cover screams, "There's a baby breastfeeding under here!"
I haven't really gotten any looks or comments. If I did, I hope I'd be able to come up with a witty comeback, but I'd probably just turn red and clam up!
Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)
If so, will you cover up? Why or why not? I will be discrete. I will wear a cami underneath my shirts--cami goes down, shirt goes up, and very little is exposed, even on busty women, like myself. I have a few reasons for choosing this. Nursing covers are allegedly hot and difficult to work with; almost exclusively, the reviews are bad and those in favor seem to be new mothers with very young infants or pregnant women, not the highly experienced. But most importantly, I think it is important to feed publicly to raise public awareness. Breastfeeding is normal, healthy and beautiful; the more people who are seen doing it, the more "normal" the perception of it will be.
How will you respond to looks and comments if they occur? I would be more than happy to respond with factual information on laws, but more than likely, would ignore any looks or comments received. I am not one to be bothered by the prudish; in fact, I would be happy to be the recipient of such looks and comments if it will allow even one less tenacious mother to go unembarrassed in public.
I am wondering, if you plan to BF, will you do so in public? Yes, if my baby is hungry I am going to feed him.
If so, will you cover up? Why or why not? I honestly think this depends on the baby. i plan to use a cover but if its too hot or if baby hates it I plan to find other ways to be discreet.
How will you respond to looks and comments if they occur? I will ignore looks and comments will be greeted with me quoting my legal rights.
This is the reason I refuse to wear a cover. I understand that some women feel more comfortable having one, but I think it's really, really important for women to be seen nursing their babies without a cover - it will never be normalized any other way!
It took DS about 10 weeks until he could latch on without it taking awhile, and that's when I started NIP with him. I never got any comments, and the only part of me that really showed was my stomach (though he usually covered that up bc he would lie across my lap). I think the last time I nursed him was on Amtrak a few months ago, and it was a bit more awkward for me to be nursing a 2-year-old (though still, that's my own issue, you know? He doesn't know that breasts are sexualized and nursing a toddler is frowned upon).
When he did nurse in public, it was because he was hungry or wanting to fall asleep, so he always got down to business, though I seem to recall holding my shirt down so he wouldn't lift the whole thing up sometimes? Ah, memories, hee hee. Oh, and I usually would seek out a quiter place to nurse him, mainly bc after awhile he would get distracted if too much was going on.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
I BFed DD in public from early on and I plan to do it with this baby too. Honestly, if you exclusively BF, your options are BF in public or stay home!
I have a nursing cover and I prefer to use it. It's just my own preference and I think every BFing mom should do what she's most comfortable with. That said, there were times when the cover was just too damn hot or DD refused to use it or I forgot it that I did nurse in public and was (mostly) comfortable doing it.
I never got any negative looks or comments. But people would sometimes look. I just assumed they were trying to get a peek at my beautiful baby! And if I ever do get any negative comments, I hope I'll be able to explain to them why BFing is so important, that LO has every right to eat his/her lunch wherever he/she wants to, and tell them politely to mind their own F-ing business.
i agree with pp's. I haven't had my first LO yet, but I def. plan on bfing in public if she's hungry and I don't feel obligated to use a cover. I like the idea of wearing a nursing tank under my shirt so there is minimal exposure, but that's for my own comfort.
I think the ridiculous thing is that the people who complain about mothers who NIP are usually those who have an overly sexualized view of breasts, not the "prudes." I agree with the pp who said that people need to be exposed to the natural process of feeding one's child in order to de-sexualize the breast and show its most beautiful function.
1. YES YES YES.
2. NO, I am discrete, in other words I cover my breast as soon as it appears out of LOs mouth but I will not wear a cover. If it bothers anyone they can put a blanket over THEIR head.
3. Ignore them....unless someone tells me that I have to stop or leave...in which case I will tell them it is illegal to ask me not to BF my baby and if they have a problem with it I will be happy to call the police.
May sound militant...but until we realize that there is nothing wrong with what we are doing and that the public's discomfort is their problem (I used to be one of the ones who found it uncomfortable and I had to adjust)...this will not change.
After all....we see Vic Secret runway shows on regular tv and billboards...and we see far worse everyday....that IS sexual....breastfeeding is anything but....and is completely natural. Time to stop apologizing for it.
I nursed DD in public all the time while we were still BFing. I did not have a nursing cover. In the beginning I used a receiving blanket to cover up, but then I bought a nursing tank (the best invention ever for NIP). That allowed me to life my shirt up and pull the tank down, and once DD was on my boob no skin was showing at all. After I figured that out, the only place I ever covered her up was in church, because I didn't want to be a distraction to other congregants. I have nursed her in a shopping mall, in restaurants, even in the take-out area of a Pizza Hut. No one has ever made any comments to me. I may have gotten a look or two, but I don't really care about that. I will do the same with #2.
I have BF'd in public more times than I can count, but I will always remember my first time. I was in Panera in a booth, and it was the most liberating feeling! To get comfortable, I practiced in front of a mirror at home so that I could do it discreetly, but I always use a nursing cover. I really love Udder Covers! I have tried others, and I hated them, but Udder Covers are amazing! They are very light weight, and they come in cute colors, and it makes me feel more comfortable.
I also wear nursing tanks a lot so that my back and stomach aren't exposed. My stomach is a scary sight with severe sagging and stretch marks so I'm not comfortable with it being seen.
I BF'd my kids in public & plan to do the same with this one.
I try not to make a spectacle, but my kids would yank the blanket off their head, I finally got used to it & didn't care as much anymore.
I try not to "look" for peoples reaction. I pay attention to my baby. If I do happen to catch someone staring or rolling their eyes - I just smile. No one has ever made a comment to me. If they do I think I will probably have a few choice words to say.
1. Yes, I will breastfeed in public. I did with my DD and I will do it again. I shouldn't have to hide when my baby's hungry just like a bottlefeeding mother shouldn't have to hide when her baby's hungry.
2. No, I will not cover up. There are ways to be discreet without a cover. I dress in layers so that the only thing that is "out" when I nurse is the breast that I put the baby on -- which is obviously covered by the baby. I may drape something over my shoulder while in the process of latching, but after that -- no. I wouldn't want to eat with a blanket/sheet/cover over my head, and I wouldn't expect my baby to eat that way.
3. I was 18 when my DD was born, so when I would get comments, I wasn't sure how to respond. However, this is 6 years later and I have less patience for people not minding their own business. Public breastfeeding is something that is protected in WI at this point and people who try to interfere can actually get fine. So I plan on laminating some cards with the legislation on it to hand out to anyone who is dumb enough to say something to me. And if they try to get me to relocate to the bathroom, I will be kindly letting them know that we are fine where we are but if they would like to use the bathroom as their dining room, they are welcome to.
This is a great discussion. I really wasn't sure which way I would go until one of our friends came out from AZ with her little one and stayed with us one weekend.
She was able to breastfeed without missing a beat! I was about 12 weeks pregnant at the time, so I was so curious about how she was able to breastfeed in public without it being a big deal. Then I realized, that because she felt comfortable, she was able to discreetly feed the baby. What made it better was that she wasn't trying to be discreet. She truly felt no embarrassment and was simply doing what came naturally to her and her baby. It was really beautiful and made me realize that I want to be just as confident about my choice to breast feed - no need to hide under some huge blanket.
Yes, I will breastfeed in public, because it is really important to me to still be able to get out and about as much as possible. If I wasn't willing to breastfeed in public, it would really limit my ability to do things.
I'm undecided on a cover...I think I will see how things go before deciding whether or not to get one. The cami down/shirt up approach makes a lot of sense, thanks, ladies!
I will be taking baby to work with me, I mostly work by myself in my office, but do have a number of meetings/appointments throughout the day. I haven't decided yet how I feel about breastfeeding at work, but I'm leaning towards pumping/bottle feeding for those times I'm in a meeting or at an appointment. For some reason, breastfeeding in front of strangers is more comfortable to me that in front of people I work with...but maybe I'll feel differently when the time comes.
I've had to breastfeed in public several times so far...including twice at restaurants. (DH had to feed me!) It's not always easy to have a bottle of pumped milk, especially if you're just starting out and are building your supply. I do use my nursing cover in public, but it's more for my own comfort. I am still getting used to BFing and my DS has taken to playing around on the boob, so for me it's easier to use a cover. I usually wear a nursing tank so I don't have to completely undress. I haven't had any comments yet; in fact, the first time I nursed at a restaurant we were with a group of friends and they were all like, hey you're kid's gotta eat, feed him! I haven't noticed anyone looking weird at me but I wouldn't care. BFing is normal and natural, not dirty or sexual.
I think whether or not you use a cover in public people are going to have an opinion. There is no "right" answer.
2 beautiful children
proud mommy!
I am wondering, if you plan to BF, will you do so in public? I do it in public- dd is hungry so I feed her
If so, will you cover up? Why or why not? I wear a cover- I think you can be discreet- just don't want a bunch of people catching a glimpse of my boobies.
How will you respond to looks and comments if they occur? I'm a bit of a spit-fire, so I fear for anyone who wants to give me crap. No one ever has yet...
Yes, I'll breastfeed in public. Probably start after I reach a certain level of comfort, then practice at places I know to be friendly to bf mothers and go from there. Once I feel confident I'll take it to the streets.
I plan on being discreet and making as little production out of it as possible. In some cases a cover will be a good idea, others maybe just finding a quiet corner. Whatever the situation warrants.
I think I would react in surprise if I got comments or stares. My area seems to be incredible pro-breastfeeding so I see it a ton. I respect that a person does not want to see my uncovered boob and will strive to keep it out of site, but beyond that they get over it.
Ditto this.
I just wanted to add this for the first time moms who may be feeling a little bit of anxiety because of the press about various harassment stories that happened to women. If that's all you ever hear about NIP- you may be reasonably frightened that going out with your baby you are going to have to arm yourself as if you are going to war... it's really not like that at ALL! I think those cases are VERY VERY rare- but they make big news when they happen to a mom who is willing to make a big stink about it (and she should!)
I have seven years of nursing under my belt... and I have never had an incident where I was asked to move or cover up or even given a snarky side eye... I have had lots of positive feedback, friendly comments, "good mommy" "breat is best" and "cute baby" comments, people open up with their personal breastfeeding stories (positive and negative expeiences), smiles, etc. The "worst" that has ever happened to me, and it's happened more than once- was that a person didn't even realise that I was nursing the baby and they lean in to get a peek of the sleeping baby and then are startled/embarassed to realise that I'm nursing and they just overstepped a line they wouldn't have had they known. (I once did that to a mom myself) Nothing more than a little embarassment on their part over not knowing how to gracefully back out of the situation.
I don't use a cover and I try to always sit with good posture, be willing to make eye contact and smile and otherwise act like a normal person going about my business.
Thanks for sharing that!
I am wondering, if you plan to BF, will you do so in public? i personally don't have a problem with it, but it makes Dh uncomfortable, so I respect his wishes and with DD we were able to coordiante it so it was never an issue.
I covered sometimes, others not. I bought a cover but found it uncomfortable to use and bulky to carry.
I did NIP a few times in public. My favorite was at my BIL's police motorcycle rodeo. Talk about a machismo atmosphere! lol Everyone was watching the event, and I was behind them. I was NIPing and my mother turned around and scoffed "We don't do that in America!" lol I just laughed at her.
I BF my DD in public from the time she was 5 days old (first time we went anywhere). I didn't use a cover intially. Sometimes I used a receiving blanket. When she got more interested in the world around her I got a cover and used that because otherwise she was constantly turning her head to see what was going on. It didn't last long and then she HATED being covered to nurse so I stopped using anything. I didn't really care about other people's thoughts or feelings on it. I covered up when I needed to for my own sanity and then stopped using the cover when it didn't work for my DD anymore.
I look people straight in the eye while I'm nursing in public. Generally people try to avoid looking at me once they realize what I'm doing. Generally I've found people have no idea what I'm doing. I'm discreet, but I will happily sit in the middle of the zoo and nurse discreetly. I don't leave the room, I don't go sit in a corner.
I think the more moms that nurse in public and the more it is seen the more acceptable it will become and more normal for our own daughters to nurse their babies.
i am all for a mother breastfeeding her child whenever, wherever and however she needs to.
i breastfed my son for 2.5 years. many, many times in public. mostly with a cover. i have ginormous boobs (38GG) and i'm not a big girl, so Bfing w/o a cover would have just been uncomfortable for me. the point isn't to expose my breasts to the world, the point is to feed my child as efficiently as possible. sometimes, i had to do that without a cover.
i can't recall that i ever got looks, but when i didn't feel like a fight, i went somewhere private. i considered feeding times when i left home. to the extent possible, i would bf privately. but if there was no acceptable/comfortable place to do so, i would do so in public (e.g., i will never breastfeed in a public restroom).
Wow! I love it, I wish I was as brave as you.