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Eco-Friendly Family
StephanieDM
member
Feeling down (BF-related)
StephanieDM
member
Sorry for the vent but I just need to let this out.
I really really wanted to EBF but lately LO isn't getting enough from me and even after a 30 minute nursing session she is hungry and SCREAMS and tries to nom on everything, so we've been forced to supplement. She'll take 2-3oz. AFTER nursing (usually closer to 3)! Its so frustrating!
She's been gassy and fussy so the pedi had us try soy-based formula. This helped a little but it was starting to make her constipated so today the pedi gave us some alimentum formula to try. I figured we'd only be supplementing for a few days and that it was just due to a growth spurt but that's not the case. I left the pedi's office feeling really down in the dumps. Defeated. I know there's nothing wrong with people FFing their child, I just really wanted to EBF... I'm trying not to let my stupid pride get in the way, but I feel like a big fat failure.
Ughhhhhhh..........
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Feeling down (BF-related)
Posts on cloth trainers/PLing
I worked with LCs in the hospital and called them a few times for follow up questions too. *sigh* I feel like a failure.
((hugs))
How long has this been going on? There's a growth spurt at 3 weeks and I remember it being really rough with both kids.
If it was a growth spurt, nursing (even if she doesn't act satisfied) is the only true way to up your supply in the long run. Did you try anything like fenugreek (I got mine at rite aid) to see if that would boost your supply long enough for her to catch up?
I will say this. I know DD was taking formula for a bit after nursing and then the doc told us that we could wean off. The bottle just drips milk into their mouths, which causes their swallow reflex to take over, and then their suck reflex takes over. So it's kinda a snowball effect.
If you can talk to an LC I really would suggest doing that. There ARE ways to boost your supply and weighing her before and after a feeding to determine what she's taking in (with a diaper on to make sure that whatever she pees/poops out is counted) is key to figuring out the issue. They will be able to figure out, based on age/weight what she should be eating each time.
I'm all for supplementing when necessary but it sounds like, to me, that it was a growth spurt and that weaning off of (see kellymom.com for guidelines)/stopping the supplementing is something you should at least try. I did a nursing vacation with DD, cutting out the bottle one day and just nursing constantly and after a week or so she was gaining and all was good. She's still nursing today.
Was she significantly underweight? Are you pumping at all?
Don't feel like a failure, she's still getting a lot of the good stuff. My concern would be she's only a month old - sometimes Max would nurse for HOURS, especially at night. I used to switch back & forth a few times before he would be content. The more you supplement, the less you will produce - it's a cycle that is tough to break once you start it.
Max had to supplement for about a day & a half because my nips were really swollen, he couldn't nurse, and his billirubin was too high and his weight dropped "too much" in a 24 hour period, but even that I question in hindsight. Keep at it, and if you want supply increasing suggestions, I've got a bunch and I know the other ladies here do as well.
Also, I KNOW that feeling. I've been there. You are NOT a failure. You are still giving your baby your breastmilk! She is still getting all those good benefits with it.
I saw in your reply that you saw some LCs in the hospital. Go in to see them. The money to pay for it (if you have to) is SO worth it. It's worth a try! At least if you exhaust all your options you'll know you did the very best you could!
Would you be willing to contact your local La Leche League for help? Perhaps also there's a LC that could come to your home? Don't forget about lactation cookies!
I was a BF "failure" with both kids (EP'd for while); I did end up FF and obviously my kids are happy & healthy but it was hard to forgive myself for not being able to BF. It's such an emotional time anyway, but when you feel like you've "failed" at something you envisioned doing your whole pregnancy, it's just the topping on the cake.
GL - I'm pulling for you!
Posts on cloth trainers/PLing
It has been going on for about 2 weeks I'd say. In the hospital, they wouldn't let me nurse LO for the first couple days because she was in the level 2 nursery, so she was taking a bottle with formula and I pumped to get my milk in. I'm getting so frustrated with this!
I ordered some tea with fenugreek in it and it should be here in a day or two. Hopefully that will help increase my supply. I've tried not offering a bottle after nursing because sometimes she'll seem satisfied but then 30 mins later she's screaming hungry... I tried nursing when she's hungry again but she won't stop screaming because she's not really getting anything from me. She'll just scream and fuss at my boob and get so worked up I think she's going to throw up.
When I waited til she was hungry to supplement, that just pushed the time between nursing sessions back and that obviously isn't helping so now we're offering a bottle after she nurses so that we're not stretching things out. I just don't know what to do.
When I pump, I'm only getting 1-1.5 oz. combined. I asked LC about that and they said that LO will get more than the pump will but she doesn't seem satisfied.
(sorry that was kind of all over the place)
*hugs*
i know there has been very little more frustrating to me than bfing and there is really nothing quite like the feeling that your body isn't giving your baby what it needs. and it's really really hard to ask for help. i hope things get easier for you, and no matter how things turn out, cut yourself a break and know that you are doing what you have to do to feed your baby and that's what matters. good luck!
my bfp chart!
our hippy baby blog
DEFINITELY take her in and weight before and after a feeding. Our doc's office does this for free but their scale kinda sucks. The LCs I knew beforehand in MD had a scale that "locked in" the weight. Ours here fluctuates and they sorta guess. But anyway, try that and see.
Does she fall asleep during the feeding?
I've seen mention of lactation cookies before. What are they? Where can I get a recipe??
What is doperidone? I ordered some tea with fenugreek. I should try to find it in a supplement as well. And I'm going to try to get a LC to come see us. *sigh*
another thought might be to look into a milk bank in your area to get donated milk...my doula did that for another one of her clients...
(sorry i posted on the other board too:()
my bfp chart!
our hippy baby blog
https://www.rumbleinthekitchen.com/
Search the labels on the left for lactation cookies.
If the LC suggests Reglan - think twice about it. It made me very depressed (but I know it works for some).
Posts on cloth trainers/PLing
https://www.lowmilksupply.org/domperidone.shtml Here is a link to info on domperidone. It really cranked up my supply and I have had no side effects!
For the fenugreek to really work, you need to take way more than whats in the tea. You can buy it as a tablet in a health food store. My LC had me taking 16/day split up to three. She also had me taking 16/day of blessed thistle. I worked my way up to that dosage and once my milk was established, I worked my way back down to about 9/day of each. Hope this helps!
((hugs)) mama. I could have (and did) write this same post in the 2nd week. We started supplementing at 4 days due to jaundice, and when we tried to wean off of it he wouldnt gain weight. So we continue to supplement. I have tried everything to get my supply up, fenugreek, pumping, mothers milk plus, etc. We feed every 2 hours during the day still even with formula.
The best thing I can tell you is that decide what is most important to you. If you want to breastfeed then try to wean him off the formula (slowly if you want) and just barricade yourself in your house for awhile and commit to feeding very frequently and for long periods. Basically you need to put her to the breast every single time she is hungry even if she just ate. I have come to terms with the fact that I cant EBF. Initially BF was so stressful to me that I was going to quit at a month old. We are at 3 months and I have no plans to stop nursing in the future. In fact I plan to pump 2x a day when I go back to work just so I can give him whatever breastmilk I have and keep nursing him mornings/nights/weekends. It does get easier, I know that seems cliche' but its true. The first two months are so hard and stressful but it will get better.
DONT feel guilty for giving formula, you are feeding your baby and that is all that matters. Any breastmilk is beneficial and you can feel good about that.
The lactation cookies WORK. And they're delicious.
In general I try to either eat a bowl of oatmeal or some sort of oatmeal based snack every day. For me I don't think it's make or break, but I believe it helps keep up my daytime supply.
My #1 supply increase trick is drink a Guinness before bed, either straight or with some vanilla ice cream (aka Stout Float). If I don't drink one, I wake up full but not in pain. If I do drink it, I wake up painfully engorged and leaking.
And again, just keep at it. Definitely see a LC. And just remember, it may take longer than you think it should for her to get the amount of milk she wants or needs.
Wowzas! That much fenugreek?! Also, who did you speak to to get the domperidone? Your OB?
Definitely call a LC. However, I recommend getting in touch with your local LeLeche League. I found the LC at the hospital to be a bit abrasive (not saying yours was, but from talking with other moms, they seem to have the same experience)
And I second the lactation cookies (with a dark beer right before bed)! And eating a bowl of oatmeal in the morning, and LOTS of water!
Rated "L" For Life Blog
ditto all of what you've heard.
my LC suggested More Milk Plus (tincture form). it contains fenugreek + blessed thistle. she said the tea versions weren't strong enough to make a difference. i couldn't do fenugreek, so i took a version called More Milk w/o the fenugreek. it didn't work as well as MMP, but it helped.
you're doing a great job!!! when my LO was that age, she was still nursing pretty much hourly. seeing an LC made all the difference for my mood, my expectations, and my spirits. i hope you get to talk to someone who can help you in that way. if you get a dud, call a local LLL leader or try another one.
LLL leaders will often come to your house. They are awesome--I've never met one who hasn't been awesomely supportive.
Please don't beat yourself up. Like CJP said, it's likely a growth spurt. And you want desperately to BF, which is a very good thing.
I was told to supplement with formula by my pedi when DD was a week old and not gaining enough. I asked him if I could supplement with bm, and he said, "I guess so." I was pissed, I felt unsupported (we soon after switched pedis) and I too felt like a failure. When I got home, I emailed my LLL leader (who I'd only met once and bet didn't even remember me). She said to pump right after feeding DD. It felt counterintuitive (esp. if she wasn't getting enough after both sides!), but in hindsight it both upped my supply and allowed me to supplement with my own milk. Any time DD was asleep and a boob felt a bit full, I would pump. (Weirdly, DH loved it b/c it meant he could feed her.) Another thing that helped my supply and her weight gain was co-sleeping.
Make some oatmeal, eat some lactation cookies, drink a beer, take some fenugreek. Whatever you have to do! We are here to support you. You can do it!
Ditto this and everyone else, you are doing great mama. Oatmeal for me really helped also I'm not sure it was said but nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse. As much as possible your LO will make a big difference in helping your milk supply!
Yeah, I know that's so much fenugreek, but it really did help. The LC told me to take the domperidone. It is not FDA approved here, so you have to get it online from a international pharmacy. It's not approved here for political reasons. It has been used in almost all other first world countries for like 30 years. I got it from https://www.inhousepharmacy.com/general/motilium.html. I've ordered from them twice and not had any problems.
Awww thank you! I'll send you a pm.