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3rd Trimester
TheBuddha
member
My birthson who came before I was ready. He doesn't call me mom but I love him just the same. ~7/10/99~
Turned in mat leave proposal...now my boss is ignoring me?!
TheBuddha
member
This is totally a vent.
I work for a small corporate office. There are about 12 employees here, but overall we have over 100 employees, so I am covered under FMLA. My boss is a bit older than me. She was married young and suffered through three miscarriages just to have her one son. After her son, she had another miscarriage followed by an emergency hysterectomy to save her life at the age of 24. About 10 years ago her husband got sick with cancer. He now stays at home and does not work because he only has part of one lung. He is miserable and she doesn't like being at home with him because he is so grumpy. So she is always at work early and always plays golf after work. Fine, it is your life, your choice. If I had a cranky husband at home, I would probably find other things to do as well.
When I told her the news of my engagement a couple years ago, she was crabby. All she could talk about was how excited she was for the day my co-worker (who she is very buddy buddy with) gets engaged. When I told her my pregnancy several months ago, she got crabby. Again, she kept talking about how great it would be if my co-worker was pregnant (note here, she is still not engaged) She is very unprofessional and I do understand life gave her a crappy hand, but should I not have anything just because you're miserable? And why the favorites between myself and my co-worker? Whenever conversation would turn to my wedding plans, she would change the subject and ask my co-worker when she was getting engaged.
I turned in my proposal on Friday for maternity leave and returning to work. Nothing drastic, I'd like to take 12 weeks FMLA leave, then upon returning to work I'd like to work 3 full days and 2 half days and use the other 8 hours as "flex" time to bring work home if necessary. I figured they would say "no, you get paid a 32 hour work week" which is fine with me. I also asked for a week of paid maternity leave for each year I've been employed here (since we have no policy at all on maternity leave, strange right?) so I'm asking for 3 weeks paid leave.
Now it is Monday and has not said a word to me all day. She walks by my desk and completely ignores me. I said good morning to her and she says "oh, hi". That is it. Is she mad about my proposal? How do you deal with a boss that makes things personal and is unprofessional?
I may be totally offbase with her being upset with me because of her situation, but it just all seems to make sense.
A new job is probably my best bet, but I can't go around interviewing at 7 months pregnant. Also, how long do I give her before I email my proposal to her boss? I can't just continue being ignored. We have to work out how long I'll have off and I need to know my schedule for when I return so I can figured out childcare. I am just so frustrated.
My birthson who came before I was ready. He doesn't call me mom but I love him just the same. ~7/10/99~This discussion has been closed.
Re: Turned in mat leave proposal...now my boss is ignoring me?!
And before my husband proposed I just LOVED being reminded that I wasn't engaged yet. I'm sure your co-worker thinks your yahoo boss is a trip too.
Do you have an HR department that you could try?
Ugh. My husband is having his own issues with his boss who takes her problems and issues to work and out on him. I hate to be sexist but why do we ladies think its ok to take our moods to work? Its a professional setting and it does nothing but make you look bad and difficult to work for or under to behave in these ways! Hopefully I've just been getting an earful for a few bad eggs and its far from the norm! (end my own vent!)
anyway, I think you need to speak to her in person, email in hand and ask for a time to talk to her about your leave proposal. If she blows you off, ask if there is someone else you should go to with this as you'd like to take care of it quickly and so everyone knows what the plan is. I don't think its a good idea to go over her head just because she's being a b* since it looks disrespectful on your part (even when totally justified) and her boss probably would rather you two work it out if she is the person to handle this issue. But if she still skirts the issue by the end of the week, I would let her know that you're going to pass the proposal on to the boss or whoever because it needs to be handled and I'd even say that you get the impression that she's not comfortable discussing it. That way if her boss asks why you aren't taking this to her, you can explain how fully you tried to and anything negative will fall directly on her and not you. good luck!
We have one HR person. But everything I do is approved by my manager. I was afraid my boss would get crabby with me for going to someone else.
And to add, she just walked by my desk again and acted like I'm not even here. ARGH I just want to walk out of here. Oh and I have not taken ONE sick day or missed a day while being pregnant. I am here every day, on time and always finish my work. And when I miss an hour of work for a doctor's appointment, I come in early the next day to make up for it (even though I'm salaried, she is a nazi about 40 hour weeks). Why do I feel like I did something wrong??
Agreed. Boss's behavior is extremely unprofessional. You should do nothing about the behavior, and you should give it a few days and then follow up with her about your proposal. The only thing more unprofessional than her behavior would be to respond in kind! I know it's hard to do, but really try not to let it get to you. She's obviously playing favorites and being a douche, and you are SO above that. Hopefully, it will irk her further to see how unfazed you are by her behavior! Good luck.