Blended Families
ambrvan
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SD understands a lot more than I thought she did...
ambrvan
member
So SD and I were watching iCarly this morning, and I was surprised that she was surmising was each character was thinking. As the show ended, SD said, "Aw, she's sad because everyone has a boyfriend except her. She should have just asked him to be her boyfriend."
Internet booted me off before I finished.
So I asked her, "What do you know about boyfriends?"
She said, "Well, when I grow up, I'm gonna have a boyfriend, and then I'm gonna have a baby in my belly. But Daddy says I can't ever have any boyfriends."
SD is only four! She's not supposed to know these things.
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Re: SD understands a lot more than I thought she did...
Yeah I don't think I'd have on those Disney shows. I don't even like my SDs watching them at 7 and 9. The kids in those shows are pretty rude and mouthy at best.
Where did she get the idea about the baby and boyfriends? Does BM have a revolving door of "suitors"?
My SD when she was 6 said "After you and daddy get married you're gonna buy a biiiiiig house, and a biiiig car and then you're going to have a big big big belly until the baby comes!" (and then rubbed my belly) And I asked her why she thought that and she said "that's what happens when people get married". I'm still waiting on the biiiiiig house and biiiiig car...no baby yet either. It has to be true, right? lol
I think that is the societal perception of marriage in general. People get married, get a house, a nice car, and have kids. I think small children have a different perception of what "biiiig" is, though. SD thinks "biiiig" is our tiny apartment after we lived in such a crowded house with FIL for a while, even though his house was much bigger.
As for the Disney/Nickalodeon(sp?) shows appropriate for a 4yo, I don't particularly see the difference in iCarly and The Lion King or Snow White. In all, some one gets kissed, someone is evil, someone is good. The Lion King is rated G, but there is violence, kissing (yes, the Simba and Nala "kissed" and kids notice). Disney or Nick is almost always on if we have the TV on at all. Now that is gets so hot in the afternoons, we tend to miss Playhouse Disney in the mornings to go outside and play before it gets hot. So when she does watch TV, there is nothing that you might consider appropriate for a 4yo. FI and I don't have a problem with it, though.
As far as the baby thing goes. It is concerning all of us. Ever since I got pregnant, she has been fascinated with big bellies and having babies. She immediately associates growing up with having a baby, whether or not she puts a boyfriend in the picture. And unfortunately, with much of her family (both sides), there are plenty of single women younger than me with several children and multiple unknown fathers or absent fathers.
And even if FI and I are together in WalMart, if we were to see a guy we know, SD would ask me, "Is that your boyfriend?" Same goes for if we see a woman that we all know. Even if SD knows it is our cousin. She seems convinced that she and DS are going to grow up and not be brother and sister anymore and get married.
It's things like this that make me not worry so much. I consider much of it the same as a little boy thinks he is going to grow up and marry his mom one day and be just like his dad. Sounds weird to think of it as an adult, but to put yourself back in your own shoes as a 4yo, it might make perfect sense. Give it another year, and if it persists, then we'll have reason to worry.
I think TV is the least of our problems.
I find it pretty hilarious that you called ME judgemental the other day. Hi kettle. My name is pot. Hey....we kinda look alike...
She is concerned about SD's perceptions of what her life is going to be like, but the child is exactly detailing Ambrvan's life!
I actually wouldn't be too concerned with SD talking about babies and what not. You just had one. It had an impact on her life. Not a surprise.
TV may be the least of your problems, but it's still contributing to it. Instead of comparing Disney to tween shows, try limiting her television usage. It's not unheard of for a child to do something other than watch crap on TV.
You're right, Shorty. SD doesn't watch a lot of TV. At our house, anyway. But we do have our TV time, namely when DS is napping. But often times she and I do puzzles and activities together instead.
Today and recently ion general has just been particularly busy due to the wedding tomorrow.
And mom2one: Doesn't it take a single parent to become part of a blended family? Just an observation.
I think m2o was referring to the fact that you had a baby with someone who wasn't yet your husband.
Meh - I don't think ICarly is a big deal. Ds loves it & he is 5 1/2. There are some cartoons that I refuse to let him watch because I feel like the characters are rude, whiney & I don't like the messages they are getting accross. So far I feel like ICarly is a good show, my dh & I don't mind watching it either. And ds was never concerned about babies until I got pregnant, so I'm sure that is where your sd's interest is coming from.