Faux pas?

Conniebird · June 2010

So I received an E-mail from my mom today, telling me that she has been getting a lot of flack from my aunts about their baby shower invite. Apparently the line "if you cannot come but would like to send a gift..." is an invite faux pas and just a simple RSVP and an address is enough. I had nothing to do with the invitations besides giving e-mail addresses to the host so I'm not sure how to respond to this. Any suggestions?

JMama10 · June 2010

huge no no. but not your fault. just call them and explain. you are having some serious baby shower issues girl.

mcadams1 · June 2010

ooooh yah that's not cool. Don't you hate that even when you have nothing to do with the shower, you're judged for it? I would just email your guests (or at least the ones who commented) and apologize, go ahead and say you were not aware that was included (I would anyway) and tell them that their warm wishes are all you hope for and you look forward to seeing them if they can make it. and forget about it because its not your fault and they should know that.

MeanMommyLady · June 2010

Um, I see no reason for YOU to explain anything, unless you are throwing your own shower and therefore sent out your own invitations (MUCH larger faux pas in my book) any faux pas committed on the invites is the fault of the people hosting the shower and your aunts should take it up with them.

JMama10 · June 2010

MeanMommyLady:
Um, I see no reason for YOU to explain anything, unless you are throwing your own shower and therefore sent out your own invitations (MUCH larger faux pas in my book) any faux pas committed on the invites is the fault of the people hosting the shower and your aunts should take it up with them.

i agree. however, she is embarrassed and it does reflect on her even though she had nothing to do with it. so if calling and explaining makes her feel better than i don't see anything wrong with that. except it's just a pain in the butt.

HBaylies · June 2010

I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who would see it as greedy and not like it. Personally, I would like to see that. I skipped out on a baby and bridal shower recently because they were wives of my husbands' coworkers that I didn't really know. I ended up sending my hubbby to work at his warehouse with the gifts after the events. It would have been easier to have a place to send it to myself instead of the crazy S&H that stores charge.

In your case, I don't see you as having the responsibility to apologize to anyone. You didn't make the invitations or create the wording.

The Housewife · June 2010

mcadams1:
ooooh yah that's not cool. Don't you hate that even when you have nothing to do with the shower, you're judged for it? I would just email your guests (or at least the ones who commented) and apologize, go ahead and say you were not aware that was included (I would anyway) and tell them that their warm wishes are all you hope for and you look forward to seeing them if they can make it. and forget about it because its not your fault and they should know that.

This.

MeanMommyLady · June 2010

OP - I guess I see it like this. If you are embarrassed and feel like something needs to be said then you need to bring it up with the shower hostess(es), they should be the ones to send out explanations/apologies as they are the ones who committed the infraction. That said, bringing it up with your hostess(es) may very well cause hurt feelings with them...so that is choice that you will have to make.

ames71 · June 2010

mcadams1:
ooooh yah that's not cool. Don't you hate that even when you have nothing to do with the shower, you're judged for it? I would just email your guests (or at least the ones who commented) and apologize, go ahead and say you were not aware that was included (I would anyway) and tell them that their warm wishes are all you hope for and you look forward to seeing them if they can make it. and forget about it because its not your fault and they should know that.

Yes, this.

kemeshiwar · June 2010

As a person who didn't have any friends kind enough to throw me a shower, I would let it slide and not mention it to your hosts. If they threw you a nice shower and that was the only thing really "wrong", it might come off as unappreciative if you call them on it. At least that's what I would think if I'd just spent a lot of time and money on a party for a friend and they called me after the fact to complain about invite wording. I mean they SHOULD have known...but I wouldn't make a huge issue of it. They had good intentions.

Depending on your relationship with aunts and how concerned about this you are, I would either contact them myself or just tell mom what to say if they give her any more grief over it.

kg_08 · June 2010

Sometimes things just happen.... Thankfully I caught my mom before she printed out our invitations, because at the bottom she had put "No purple, or cartoon characters."

Ummmm... ok? Yeah that wouldn't have been too cool if they actually went in the mail like that.

Conniebird · June 2010

mcadams1:
ooooh yah that's not cool. Don't you hate that even when you have nothing to do with the shower, you're judged for it? I would just email your guests (or at least the ones who commented) and apologize, go ahead and say you were not aware that was included (I would anyway) and tell them that their warm wishes are all you hope for and you look forward to seeing them if they can make it. and forget about it because its not your fault and they should know that.

I did this, I'll have to see how it turns out.

Im mostly frustrated that my mom is getting all the feedback. She lives on the other side of the fraking planet and feels bad enough that she can't be here, Now she has to deal with this! commence eyeball rolling.

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