NBR: no invite to wedding party?

kcox123 · June 2010

DD is flower girl and Dh is usher in his little brother's wedding 7-16. DH noticed we haven't gotten an invite yet... Talked to his mom and she said we won't be getting one. They decided not to send invites to the wedding party as a cost- saver... Are you fing kidding me? I don't even know what time the wedding starts... If the reception is right after or there's a gap... And we have a 2 and 4 year old to work around (naps, etc). Seriously.

Brougham7-15-06 · June 2010

That is really tacky...I mean obviously you will be there, but it is still polite to send you an invite...RUDE!

noliablue · June 2010

It's understandable...That stuff is expensive. Just call BIL and ask. They can't (or shouldn't) get irritated with you for calling if they haven't sent invites.

ames71 · June 2010

Klassy.

kemeshiwar · June 2010

That's kind of lame. It's too bad they couldn't find some pennies to pinch somewhere else. Maybe they came up just barely short on the invites and were avoiding ordering a whole set again? I felt weird doing it, but I even sent an invite to my parents, who were helping to host/plan the entire thing!

Jennifer80 · June 2010

I think that is in very poor taste. These are the folks that are doing the most for the couple. They deserve an invite.

tracyanna · June 2010

I see this more often than not these days. I would call to ask for an agenda to be sent so that you can plan around it.

And honestly I am not one to be all hoyty-toyty about these types of things especially since I end up throwing away other's wedding invites eventually anyways. The only invite I have kept is for my own wedding. So if they want to save some money on the front end that is their business, as long as I get an agenda of what is going on I would be fine.

kimmyt09 · June 2010

Jennifer80:
I think that is in very poor taste. These are the folks that are doing the most for the couple. They deserve an invite.

I agree. People in the wedding spend way more than the average guest between pre-wedding events and attire alone.

SaraMaeHeinick · June 2010

I think it's strange!

KeepingItLowKey · June 2010

There are much less necessary things they could save money on.

ashopaholicmom · June 2010

We didn't get an invite for DH's brother's wedding. He was Best Man. My DH was pretty annoyed, kept making comments to me about how we "weren't technically invited..." It really hurt his feelings I think.

PubStar09 · June 2010

So just call and ask all the details.

MoniqueJW · June 2010

wow - that's beyond cheap

sugarland726 · June 2010

That's ridiculous. You absolutely should have received an invitation. What a silly way to save money. How much could it have actually saved?

triplea1819 · June 2010

i would call/email ask, and infer that since you did not get an invitation you did not know if you were invited or not and wanted to make sure you were still invited otherwise there would be no need to schedule the weekend for it.

stephanieroyer · June 2010

i dont see the big deal.. call and ask him.

Conniebird · June 2010

I almost did that for my wedding until my SIL (and wedding coordinator) knocked some sense into me. Really by not sending the wedding party invites they are saving at most a couple of dollars. However seeing as your IL's already sent them out, try asking the Bride (or whoever is running it) to send out an E-mail to the wedding party with the itinerary. It's not as nice as an invitation but at least then you will know what is going on

Hambly · June 2010

I was in three weddings last summer and I only got an invite for 1. It seems to be the trend, or maybe they just assume you know whats going on.

Butterbean52 · June 2010

stephanieroyer:
i dont see the big deal.. call and ask him.

This. I mean, are you planning on saving the invitation afterward? Or will it be going in the trash like every other wedding invitation?

I don't see what the big deal is.

khoyte85 · June 2010

Can someone help me out with the abbreviations :

DD

Dh etc?

kcox123 · June 2010

Yeah.. I don't need the invite for posterity.. But it's like pulling teeth to get bride or groom to respond to call or email generally so I am not optimistic about getting the info we need prior to the day of and we are planners. Brother never even asked DH to be an usher.. Just emailed him the name of the tux rental place... Dh was like so am I in the wedding then? Brother never responded so we had to find out from DHs father... Ugh.

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