Smoker (family members) around your baby? WDYT?

h2babe · June 2010

I am very nervous having smokers around my baby for some potential second or third hand effects--what are your thoughts on this? My dad is heavy smoker (a pack or two per day), and he told me that he won't smoke around the baby, but he and my mom (non-smoker) both smell like cigarettes, because my dad smokes inside the house. All of their furniture, vehicles and clothes smell like cigarettes; and I am very troubled with the idea that my baby will be exposed to the smell.

lknudsen · June 2010

Just limit your time in their house, see if you can hang out outside or something with the baby...

I wouldn't want people smoking on my kid (OR ME for that matter) either.

If it's just like a cigarette once in a great while, I wouldn't worry about it, but I think it's downright rude for people to chain smoke around kids or a pregnant girl. Someone did that to me, and after like his 4th cig lit up, I couldn't take it and left the scene.

NicoleBarnum · June 2010

I have lucked out both my parents and husbands parents smoke but they do it outside now and they know to wash their hands before they hold LO.

lauraken · June 2010

OMG, I was just about to ask about this. My SIL (her and her DH smoke in the house) lives in another state, so when we go to visit, we are stuck at there house. I can't ask someone not to smoke in their own house. But I don't want my baby exposed to second hand smoke for as long as possible. If it's summertime, no prob, I can go outside, but not forever. And if it's wintertime, I'm screwed. I don't want to not let her see her niece/nephew just cause of that.

matthew24 · June 2010

I think this 3rd hand smoke is a crock to be honest, the study has major validity and reliability issues so I do not take any of that information seriously. Obviously you don't want them smoking around the child but I would never restrict my father or any family member from being around my child just because they smoke. Ask them to wash his hands after a smoke and let it be. I'm sorry but think too many people uptight about this issue and as long as the child is not getting any direct 2nd hand smoke they will be fine.

MrsSR · June 2010

I don't have any advice for you, but I wanted to say I agree with you! Luckily, no one in my family smokes, so I'm happy about that.

But I agree; smokers smell so bad and even if there wasn't a risk of 3rd hand smoke, I wouldn't want my baby to stink like smoke. It's an awful smell that makes me sick.

mechanicsgirl · June 2010

MIL smokes. She doesn't smoke inside her house, and she follows the rules we set with DD: She isn't to smoke anywhere near DD, and if she comes in the house after smoking, she changes her shirt and washes her hands before holding DD. She didn't enjoy following the rules at first...even got to the point where she said she wouldn't hold DD anymore if it meant changing her shirt every time. But now, she does without having to be asked.

All of her children smoke (around their kids and otherwise) so we're the first that imposed any guidelines on her. It took some adjustment.

mcadams1 · June 2010

I am very fortunate to be in a family and extended family of non-smokers. Still, I wouldn't hesitate to throw out the b* card and just refuse to put my baby in that environment. You're totally right that you can't tell people not to smoke in their homes, but I would insist on staying in a hotel if I were to visit. Otherwise, I'd let people know in advance that you aren't comfortable having the baby around smoke and that includes smokey clothes. If they can't understand that in this day and age, you're totally reasonable to limit contact. Its not personal, its just not good for your baby.

PubStar09 · June 2010

I agree with you. And there's thinking that exposure to 2nd and 3rd hand smoke increases the risk of SIDS.

h2babe · June 2010

PubStar09:
I agree with you. And there's thinking that exposure to 2nd and 3rd hand smoke increases the risk of SIDS.

This was my main reason of concern. I didn't even think about the 3rd hand smoking, until I read that it may cause respiratory issues (asthma) in young children.

I have asked my parents to change their clothes and wash their hand before holding the newborn, and they have been extremely defensive about it. So we'll see how this pans out.

kimmyt09 · June 2010

h2babe:
PubStar09:
I agree with you. And there's thinking that exposure to 2nd and 3rd hand smoke increases the risk of SIDS.
This was my main reason of concern. I didn't even think about the 3rd hand smoking, until I read that it may cause respiratory issues (asthma) in young children.
I have asked my parents to change their clothes and wash their hand before holding the newborn, and they have been extremely defensive about it. So we'll see how this pans out.

Thats what we have to do with my inlaws.. I'm leaving it to DH to tell them. They ALWAYS SMELL. It makes me nuts.

luvpinsanity · June 2010

First off, yes it smells bad. Ask your dad to smoke elsewhere when you are over with the baby-- say outside, or in the basement, or upstairs in the bedroom-- somewhere where you will not go with baby.

Then ask him to wear a sweatshirt or change his shirts after smoking so the particles from the cigarette do not get inhaled by your infant. This is the best way to avoid second AND third hand smoke... unless you completely avoid your parents.

The particles in the smoke ARE dangerous-- especially if your child is a preemie or very young newborn (under six months of age) since babies have an undeveloped immune system when they are born.

Keep your baby on a blanket on the sofa/rug/etc or in something you bring for her and she will be fine.

PubStar09 · June 2010

h2babe:
PubStar09:
I agree with you. And there's thinking that exposure to 2nd and 3rd hand smoke increases the risk of SIDS.
This was my main reason of concern. I didn't even think about the 3rd hand smoking, until I read that it may cause respiratory issues (asthma) in young children.
I have asked my parents to change their clothes and wash their hand before holding the newborn, and they have been extremely defensive about it. So we'll see how this pans out.

Then you need to be defensive back. Threaten them with not being allowed to see their grandchild if they don't obey your wishes. I wouldn't even hesitate to tell my parents to stay home if they didn't like the way I wanted to raise my child.

Jeane_P · June 2010

mechanicsgirl:
MIL smokes. She doesn't smoke inside her house, and she follows the rules we set with DD: She isn't to smoke anywhere near DD, and if she comes in the house after smoking, she changes her shirt and washes her hands before holding DD. She didn't enjoy following the rules at first...even got to the point where she said she wouldn't hold DD anymore if it meant changing her shirt every time. But now, she does without having to be asked.
All of her children smoke (around their kids and otherwise) so we're the first that imposed any guidelines on her. It took some adjustment.

I love this idea. MIL smokes as well and DH had the talk with her about exposing the baby to smoke. She never smokes in our house but she lives out of town and when we go to visit her we are stuck in a car and house that smells of smoke. I also just don't want my baby and her things smelling like smoke. I think we will implement these rules when she comes to our house. Still working on what to do when we visit her.

susie985 · June 2010

MrsSR:

I don't have any advice for you, but I wanted to say I agree with you! Luckily, no one in my family smokes, so I'm happy about that.

But I agree; smokers smell so bad and even if there wasn't a risk of 3rd hand smoke, I wouldn't want my baby to stink like smoke. It's an awful smell that makes me sick.

This, but it is YOUR baby and your baby's safety and health is your #1 concern, so you have to put your foot down!

Violet_McPurpleson · June 2010

I plan on being totally rigid about this. If you are a smoker and you want to hold the baby then you are going to have to be freshly showered and wearing clean clothes before I will let you near my child.

I've been totally upfront about this from the very beginning so that there isn't any hurt feelings over it. I've explained that it isn't personal, I just don't want my tiny infant exposed to 2nd or even 3rd hand smoke.

Luckily my brother is the only smoker in my immediate family and my grandma has actually quite since I told her this.

ash.flea · June 2010

I'm in the same boat. My mom actually quit smoking two weeks ago so hopefully she'll keep that up. She didn't smoke in her house but she did in her car & it always smelled so awful. I told her that she wouldn't be able to take the baby anywhere with her, even if she didn't smoke, because even when she's not smoking I have trouble breathing in her car so I'm sure it would be awful for a baby, too. I'm so glad that she's quitting!

Now the only smokers that we'll be around somewhat regularly are my aunt & uncle, and I'm not sure what to do about them. We'll probably just not take the baby to their house (they smoke inside) and hopefully limit the time they spend with him. I don't know how I feel about telling them that they have to shower & change clothes to hold him.

h2babe · June 2010

Ladies, thank you so much for assurance that I am not being out of line wanting to put my foot down on this.

I have been actually pretty laid back, but I also don't want my baby to have a respiratory issue that she will have to deal with the rest of her life. My mom doesn't smoke, but she has no idea how strong the smell of cigarette is on her clothes and items. Even the baby clothes that she sends us on boxes, DH has to take them out in the garage, air them out for several days, then bring them in directly to the washer to wash.

RitaT22 · June 2010

matthew24:
I think this 3rd hand smoke is a crock to be honest, the study has major validity and reliability issues so I do not take any of that information seriously. Obviously you don't want them smoking around the child but I would never restrict my father or any family member from being around my child just because they smoke. Ask them to wash his hands after a smoke and let it be. I'm sorry but think too many people uptight about this issue and as long as the child is not getting any direct 2nd hand smoke they will be fine.

So you're not concerned with LO breathing in the smell on their clothes, or smelling like cigarettes after they're done holding him/her? There is nothing worse than a baby who reeks of cigarettes IMO. Totally disgusting.

matthew24 · June 2010

RitaT22:

matthew24:
I think this 3rd hand smoke is a crock to be honest, the study has major validity and reliability issues so I do not take any of that information seriously. Obviously you don't want them smoking around the child but I would never restrict my father or any family member from being around my child just because they smoke. Ask them to wash his hands after a smoke and let it be. I'm sorry but think too many people uptight about this issue and as long as the child is not getting any direct 2nd hand smoke they will be fine.

So you're not concerned with LO breathing in the smell on their clothes, or smelling like cigarettes after they're done holding him/her? There is nothing worse than a baby who reeks of cigarettes IMO. Totally disgusting.

Ugg.........save the almighty attitude alright. I would never tell the grandparents they can't hold my child, their grandchild, because they smell of smoke. They are NOT directly smoking near my child nor are they inhaling anything that could ever be deemed unsafe for her respiratory system. I am more worried about the smog and environmental factors in the air then someone holding my child who had been smoking. As I stated before, there is absolutely no evidence of this so-called ridiculousness of 3rd hand smoke and if you read the one and only study conducted you would clearly see it has major validity and reliability issues. People need to relax with this stuff and focus their concern on other, more important issues. I really don't care if you agree with me but these types of comments I roll I eyes to, sorry, but get off your high horse and don't imply I don't care about my child's health.

ColieJ · June 2010

Told my mom & sister if they wanted to be around the baby they had to quit. I am a previous smoker myself so I really don't care for the "it's so hard to quit" excuse. I don't want people with smoke on their clothes or in their hair around my baby. I had a scare with lung cancer this year at 30. That should have been enough to force EVERYONE in my family to quit.

Now, they both quit to my knowledge. At the very least while they have been at my house for weeks on end ( I am on bedrest [10 weeks] and mom has been here 8 weeks to take care of me and sister was here 3-4) there has been no smoking so I just assume it is the same when they are home in TX.

You can't force them to quit, but if they choose to continue you have to the right to refuse to put your baby in that environment.

ColieJ · June 2010

matthew24:
RitaT22:

matthew24:
I think this 3rd hand smoke is a crock to be honest, the study has major validity and reliability issues so I do not take any of that information seriously. Obviously you don't want them smoking around the child but I would never restrict my father or any family member from being around my child just because they smoke. Ask them to wash his hands after a smoke and let it be. I'm sorry but think too many people uptight about this issue and as long as the child is not getting any direct 2nd hand smoke they will be fine.

So you're not concerned with LO breathing in the smell on their clothes, or smelling like cigarettes after they're done holding him/her? There is nothing worse than a baby who reeks of cigarettes IMO. Totally disgusting.

Ugg.........save the almighty attitude alright. I would never tell the grandparents they can't hold my child, their grandchild, because they smell of smoke. They are NOT directly smoking near my child nor are they inhaling anything that could ever be deemed unsafe for her respiratory system. I am more worried about the smog and environmental factors in the air then someone holding my child who had been smoking. As I stated before, there is absolutely no evidence of this so-called ridiculousness of 3rd hand smoke and if you read the one and only study conducted you would clearly see it has major validity and reliability issues. People need to relax with this stuff and focus their concern on other, more important issues. I really don't care if you agree with me but these types of comments I roll I eyes to, sorry, but get off your high horse and don't imply I don't care about my child's health.

Nothing about a high horse or being uppity, you want your child exposed to the chemicals and smoke that gets in furniture and clothes you go right ahead. As a previous smoker if someone comes in my house with smoke on their clothes it makes me ill. Even if the chemicals aren't dangerous, I don't feel like bathing Chloe everytime a smoker touches her.

You are the one that started with the words like "uptight" and that you don't take this stuff seriously. Roll your eyes all you like, but it is my choice what I do with my child and no smoker will be around her if they smell like smoke, PERIOD.

matthew24 · June 2010

ColieJ:
matthew24:
RitaT22:

matthew24:
I think this 3rd hand smoke is a crock to be honest, the study has major validity and reliability issues so I do not take any of that information seriously. Obviously you don't want them smoking around the child but I would never restrict my father or any family member from being around my child just because they smoke. Ask them to wash his hands after a smoke and let it be. I'm sorry but think too many people uptight about this issue and as long as the child is not getting any direct 2nd hand smoke they will be fine.

So you're not concerned with LO breathing in the smell on their clothes, or smelling like cigarettes after they're done holding him/her? There is nothing worse than a baby who reeks of cigarettes IMO. Totally disgusting.

Ugg.........save the almighty attitude alright. I would never tell the grandparents they can't hold my child, their grandchild, because they smell of smoke. They are NOT directly smoking near my child nor are they inhaling anything that could ever be deemed unsafe for her respiratory system. I am more worried about the smog and environmental factors in the air then someone holding my child who had been smoking. As I stated before, there is absolutely no evidence of this so-called ridiculousness of 3rd hand smoke and if you read the one and only study conducted you would clearly see it has major validity and reliability issues. People need to relax with this stuff and focus their concern on other, more important issues. I really don't care if you agree with me but these types of comments I roll I eyes to, sorry, but get off your high horse and don't imply I don't care about my child's health.

Nothing about a high horse or being uppity, you want your child exposed to the chemicals and smoke that gets in furniture and clothes you go right ahead. As a previous smoker if someone comes in my house with smoke on their clothes it makes me ill. Even if the chemicals aren't dangerous, I don't feel like bathing Chloe everytime a smoker touches her.

You are the one that started with the words like "uptight" and that you don't take this stuff seriously. Roll your eyes all you like, but it is my choice what I do with my child and no smoker will be around her if they smell like smoke, PERIOD.

Ok, so don't put her around I really don't give a crap. You have your opinion I have mine, I really don't care.

*KC*luvs*RJ* · June 2010

We don't accept invitations to their house, and we also ask that they do not smoke before coming to our house to see us or DS. If we smell an excess of smoke on them when they arrive, we don't let them hold DS.

If they ask what the deal is, we simply tell them the truth. Secondhand smoke is very unhealthy for our baby, and we don't want him exposed to it.

themerlins · June 2010

matthew24:
ColieJ:
matthew24:
RitaT22:

matthew24:
I think this 3rd hand smoke is a crock to be honest, the study has major validity and reliability issues so I do not take any of that information seriously. Obviously you don't want them smoking around the child but I would never restrict my father or any family member from being around my child just because they smoke. Ask them to wash his hands after a smoke and let it be. I'm sorry but think too many people uptight about this issue and as long as the child is not getting any direct 2nd hand smoke they will be fine.
So you're not concerned with LO breathing in the smell on their clothes, or smelling like cigarettes after they're done holding him/her? There is nothing worse than a baby who reeks of cigarettes IMO. Totally disgusting.

Ugg.........save the almighty attitude alright. I would never tell the grandparents they can't hold my child, their grandchild, because they smell of smoke. They are NOT directly smoking near my child nor are they inhaling anything that could ever be deemed unsafe for her respiratory system. I am more worried about the smog and environmental factors in the air then someone holding my child who had been smoking. As I stated before, there is absolutely no evidence of this so-called ridiculousness of 3rd hand smoke and if you read the one and only study conducted you would clearly see it has major validity and reliability issues. People need to relax with this stuff and focus their concern on other, more important issues. I really don't care if you agree with me but these types of comments I roll I eyes to, sorry, but get off your high horse and don't imply I don't care about my child's health.
Nothing about a high horse or being uppity, you want your child exposed to the chemicals and smoke that gets in furniture and clothes you go right ahead. As a previous smoker if someone comes in my house with smoke on their clothes it makes me ill. Even if the chemicals aren't dangerous, I don't feel like bathing Chloe everytime a smoker touches her.
You are the one that started with the words like "uptight" and that you don't take this stuff seriously. Roll your eyes all you like, but it is my choice what I do with my child and no smoker will be around her if they smell like smoke, PERIOD.
Ok, so don't put her around I really don't give a crap. You have your opinion I have mine, I really don't care.

wow...you seem like a very angry person! hopefully for your baby's sake, it's just pregnancy hormones.

on another note, I wouldn't let a smoker touch me after they've smoked a cigarette, so why subject my LO to that? regardless of whether or not the theory on 3rd hand smoke is substantiated by fact, it is just the most awful, nauseating smell in the entire world which can't possibly make it GOOD for you. I believe you have every right to ask your parents to do whatever you want them to do when it comes to handling your child. I've told my brother that he isn't allowed to come in contact with DS immediately after smoking a cigarette and I will stick to my guns. Maybe it'll be motivation for them to quit?

ColieJ · June 2010

themerlins:
matthew24:
ColieJ:
matthew24:
RitaT22:

matthew24:
I think this 3rd hand smoke is a crock to be honest, the study has major validity and reliability issues so I do not take any of that information seriously. Obviously you don't want them smoking around the child but I would never restrict my father or any family member from being around my child just because they smoke. Ask them to wash his hands after a smoke and let it be. I'm sorry but think too many people uptight about this issue and as long as the child is not getting any direct 2nd hand smoke they will be fine.

So you're not concerned with LO breathing in the smell on their clothes, or smelling like cigarettes after they're done holding him/her? There is nothing worse than a baby who reeks of cigarettes IMO. Totally disgusting.

Ugg.........save the almighty attitude alright. I would never tell the grandparents they can't hold my child, their grandchild, because they smell of smoke. They are NOT directly smoking near my child nor are they inhaling anything that could ever be deemed unsafe for her respiratory system. I am more worried about the smog and environmental factors in the air then someone holding my child who had been smoking. As I stated before, there is absolutely no evidence of this so-called ridiculousness of 3rd hand smoke and if you read the one and only study conducted you would clearly see it has major validity and reliability issues. People need to relax with this stuff and focus their concern on other, more important issues. I really don't care if you agree with me but these types of comments I roll I eyes to, sorry, but get off your high horse and don't imply I don't care about my child's health.

Nothing about a high horse or being uppity, you want your child exposed to the chemicals and smoke that gets in furniture and clothes you go right ahead. As a previous smoker if someone comes in my house with smoke on their clothes it makes me ill. Even if the chemicals aren't dangerous, I don't feel like bathing Chloe everytime a smoker touches her.

You are the one that started with the words like "uptight" and that you don't take this stuff seriously. Roll your eyes all you like, but it is my choice what I do with my child and no smoker will be around her if they smell like smoke, PERIOD.

Ok, so don't put her around I really don't give a crap. You have your opinion I have mine, I really don't care.

wow...you seem like a very angry person! hopefully for your baby's sake, it's just pregnancy hormones.

on another note, I wouldn't let a smoker touch me after they've smoked a cigarette, so why subject my LO to that? regardless of whether or not the theory on 3rd hand smoke is substantiated by fact, it is just the most awful, nauseating smell in the entire world which can't possibly make it GOOD for you. I believe you have every right to ask your parents to do whatever you want them to do when it comes to handling your child. I've told my brother that he isn't allowed to come in contact with DS immediately after smoking a cigarette and I will stick to my guns. Maybe it'll be motivation for them to quit?

told my mom about her comment, my mom assumed she was a smoker

In any case she is just entirely too defensive. But as she stated we all get our own opinions. I will do for my child and she can do for hers.

ColieJ · June 2010

themerlins:
matthew24:
ColieJ:
matthew24:
RitaT22:

matthew24:
I think this 3rd hand smoke is a crock to be honest, the study has major validity and reliability issues so I do not take any of that information seriously. Obviously you don't want them smoking around the child but I would never restrict my father or any family member from being around my child just because they smoke. Ask them to wash his hands after a smoke and let it be. I'm sorry but think too many people uptight about this issue and as long as the child is not getting any direct 2nd hand smoke they will be fine.

So you're not concerned with LO breathing in the smell on their clothes, or smelling like cigarettes after they're done holding him/her? There is nothing worse than a baby who reeks of cigarettes IMO. Totally disgusting.

Ugg.........save the almighty attitude alright. I would never tell the grandparents they can't hold my child, their grandchild, because they smell of smoke. They are NOT directly smoking near my child nor are they inhaling anything that could ever be deemed unsafe for her respiratory system. I am more worried about the smog and environmental factors in the air then someone holding my child who had been smoking. As I stated before, there is absolutely no evidence of this so-called ridiculousness of 3rd hand smoke and if you read the one and only study conducted you would clearly see it has major validity and reliability issues. People need to relax with this stuff and focus their concern on other, more important issues. I really don't care if you agree with me but these types of comments I roll I eyes to, sorry, but get off your high horse and don't imply I don't care about my child's health.

Nothing about a high horse or being uppity, you want your child exposed to the chemicals and smoke that gets in furniture and clothes you go right ahead. As a previous smoker if someone comes in my house with smoke on their clothes it makes me ill. Even if the chemicals aren't dangerous, I don't feel like bathing Chloe everytime a smoker touches her.

You are the one that started with the words like "uptight" and that you don't take this stuff seriously. Roll your eyes all you like, but it is my choice what I do with my child and no smoker will be around her if they smell like smoke, PERIOD.

Ok, so don't put her around I really don't give a crap. You have your opinion I have mine, I really don't care.

wow...you seem like a very angry person! hopefully for your baby's sake, it's just pregnancy hormones.

on another note, I wouldn't let a smoker touch me after they've smoked a cigarette, so why subject my LO to that? regardless of whether or not the theory on 3rd hand smoke is substantiated by fact, it is just the most awful, nauseating smell in the entire world which can't possibly make it GOOD for you. I believe you have every right to ask your parents to do whatever you want them to do when it comes to handling your child. I've told my brother that he isn't allowed to come in contact with DS immediately after smoking a cigarette and I will stick to my guns. Maybe it'll be motivation for them to quit?

told my mom about her comment, my mom assumed she was a smoker

In any case she is just entirely too defensive. But as she stated we all get our own opinions. I will do for my child and she can do for hers.

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