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Falling apart

SoulfulWhim5862SoulfulWhim5862
in Pregnant after a Loss
I am feeling sick over this whole mess I am in with my husband.  I feel like I'm in a nervous frenzy and I am restless.  My mind won't stop racing back and fourth and I can't stop it.  I am ashamed and a bad mother for putting my baby in this situation.  I wanted a baby so bad and he did too so I thought.  Now I have linked this baby to a nightmare of a man because I am stupid.  I don't know what to do now.  I don't want this mess to continue and for my husband to let our child down like he has me.  How can I possibly protect my child from all of this? 
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Re: Falling apart

  • vlewis515vlewis515 member
    Well I think you're doing what you can by keeping him out of your pregnancy. I would let your lawyer know that you want to do whatever you can to have him sign his rights away. Let him know that that is your main objective. He can have whatever he wants but you want your child to yourself. May seem wrong but that's what I would do. It will be easier in the long run.
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  • mamaholicmamaholic member
    I am so sorry. I wish I could say something insightful that would quell your fears, but I am not really sure what to say. Just know that you are not a bad mother because if you were you wouldn't be so worried about how your situation would affect your LO. Take care of yourself and we're here for you.
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  • twilightswhispertwilightswhisper

    I am in a very similar situation. I think the most important thing for you to remember throughout is that YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER, only a mother in a bad situation. In fact you are a brilliant mother for realizing a bad situation and taking steps to remedy it.  We do what we think is right at the time and hope for the best. I can't tell you how you will get through this, only that you will.  That is what mothers do. Hang in there and stay strong. You are not alone. We shall overcome!!!!

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  • xcjen06xcjen06
    I don't know your backstory but I want to let you know that you are doing the right thing for your child and that makes you a great mother. I left my husband when I was 10 weeks pregnant because he was abusive. I'd been trying to work things out but once I was pregnant and he hit me I was out! I am so sorry you are going through this. Please know that you aren't a bad mom. Stay strong and with time everything will turn out better. I'll be thinking of you.
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  • lax15bsulax15bsu member
    imagevlewis515:
    Well I think you're doing what you can by keeping him out of your pregnancy. I would let your lawyer know that you want to do whatever you can to have him sign his rights away. Let him know that that is your main objective. He can have whatever he wants but you want your child to yourself. May seem wrong but that's what I would do. It will be easier in the long run.

    While I agree with PP about wanting to keep him away from your LO, I don't think you should have him sign away his rights. Because then he won't owe child support. And if he's gonna cheat on you while you are pregnant, his ass deserves a full 18 years of supporting this baby. I think you have a strong enough case to get full custody and he may get visitation rights, but my guess is he wouldn't take advantage of those visits.

    :::BIG hugs::: You are so brave and so right for doing this. Especially if he was abusive in the past - I can only imagine that if you forced him to stay with you for the baby, that he would resort to violence again. Hang in there, sweetie.

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  • lax15bsulax15bsu member
    imagevlewis515:
    Well I think you're doing what you can by keeping him out of your pregnancy. I would let your lawyer know that you want to do whatever you can to have him sign his rights away. Let him know that that is your main objective. He can have whatever he wants but you want your child to yourself. May seem wrong but that's what I would do. It will be easier in the long run.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
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