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bday gift dilemma pls. advise

tobeMrsSzabotobeMrsSzabo
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

OK so DD's bday was sat and we had a really fun party with lots of family and friends (when the sweet people who took pics for me pass them on to me I will AW my heart out) but my dilemma is with a really generous gift we received.

My SIL & BIL got DD a pink cozy coupe.  She went on and on about how the coupe was her son's favorite toy when he was little and how excited she was that they still made them and how when its assembled she wants pictures of her playing in it...

only problem is we already have one.  classic colors and maybe a year or two old but it is the same car that I bought for $25 in good condition a few weeks ago at a yard sale.

MIL knew that we had one and knew that SIL was buying it and didn't say anything to her in advance.  DH obviously knows that we have one already and didn't say anything.  So I chickened out and didn't say anything.  Obviously she didn't include a gift receit so I can't even exchange it discreetly and hope she forgets about this toy she is SO excited for DD to have.  I can't return the one we already have obviously.

its almost a week later now and it is still in the box and we haven't said anything about it.  I'm not super close with SIL but she is family, I just kind of felt like it should come from DH since it was his family, I really felt bad saying anything.  Like we are just ungrateful.  But I don't think we need two even with the new baby on the way and if it goes unused that will be such a waste.  I was thinking of asking her if we could exchange it for the step 2 art desk which is the same price and I would love to have that for DD.

WWYD?  Is there a nice way to say this?  Should I just take it and have two and be grateful?  What would you want someone to do if you were the gift giver?

TIA for the advise.

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Re: bday gift dilemma pls. advise

  • jen1177jen1177 member
    I dont think there is any thing wrong with returning the item. And if she asks about it, just say that you are sorry you did not say something sooner, you felt bad since she was soo excited, but you already have one. And then tell her what you bought with the returned gift and let her know how much DD loves it. I do think this should have been said sooner though, it would have illumated this awkwardness!!! GL :)
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  • abergaleabergale member

    imageJen1177:
    I dont think there is any thing wrong with returning the item. And if she asks about it, just say that you are sorry you did not say something sooner, you felt bad since she was soo excited, but you already have one. And then tell her what you bought with the returned gift and let her know how much DD loves it. I do think this should have been said sooner though, it would have illumated this awkwardness!!! GL :)

     

    I would say this is a great response. You also say to her how much you loved the girly colors of the one she bought but because you bought it at a garage sale you couldn't return it. I think getting the art table is a great idea. It gives her another big thing she can enjoy from them :) 

    Addison Elizabeth
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    Carter James
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  • livinituplivinitup

    I feel your pain.  I've got almost brand new toddler toys from our neighborhood yard sale so DD is set with tons of really nice high-end toys.  Getting more, at full price seems like such a waste.  Last b-day my BIL and sister both got DD very similar items, one was train-themed and one was Little Mermaid themed.  It felt very redundant.  DH suggested we just let it go and I am glad I did.  People like buying the items and they often have a special connection to their choice, like your SIL.  I've made a personal choice to just accept whatever people want to give.  It's no big deal to have two of the same item.  I actually keep the train-one at MIL's so she has a very nice toy there when we visit.  So BIL gets to see it and DD looks forward to playing with it there. 

    Honestly, I find it a relief to just accept the gifts that people give and use them as much of as little as it happens.  And not consider it an extension of my own money management and toy rotation.  Its so much easier to be gracious.  If someone wanted me to pick the gift they would have asked or given cash.  They didn't.  They gave that item, often with sincerety and love.  It really puts my mind at ease to leave it that way.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
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