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wanted to slap her

liveforhimliveforhim member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

So, a friend of mine who I used to be close with and who is also now 28 weeks pregnant(of course they weren't trying)  wrote me a message yesterday to not ask how I'm doing, but to invite me to her baby shower and said alot of insensitive things.  She also had the nerve to say..well maybe you shouldn't try so hard next time...ummm excuse me but we waited diligently 2 years after we got married to start TTC and you want to say that to me?!?  Needless to say, we are not close anymore!  yesterday was not a good day...hoping today is better:)

Here's to a better day!

 

So excited for our little blessing:)
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Re: wanted to slap her

  • jillcanadajillcanada
    What? I don't even understand how you can "try so hard" anyway...so sorry there are people who we thought were friends that just don't get it. Hope today is a better day!
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1: 07/10/2009, Missed m/c, D&C 08/12/2009
    BFP #2: 01/31/2010, Identical Twins died in utero due to TTTS, D&E 05/19/2010
    BFP #3: 09/16/2010, natural m/c 9/21/2010
    PCOS & Bocornuate Uterus Dx 1.4.2011
    BFP #4: 01/11/2011
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  • biddy53178biddy53178
    i hate insensitive people!
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  • Mae925Mae925 member

    imagebiddy53178:
    i hate insensitive people!

     Exactly!!!!!!

    BabyFruit Ticker BFP 07/28/11 BFP 1/5/11 m/c 2/12/11 BFP 5/24/10 Missed m/c 6/10/10
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  • CashewsMommyCashewsMommy member
    I'm so sorry!!! People can say some stupid things. (((hugs)))


    BFP#1 {Cashew} - 9.19.09 EDD 5.26.10
    The day you first lay in my arms, you made my life complete.
    Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
     BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11

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  • CheebCheeb

    My best friend and I were actually due on the same day. We were both so excited, and at about 11 weeks i miscarried. She had her baby about a week ago. I kept on talking to her because she's the kind of girl that got pregnant by accident, kept on doing all her bad habits while pregnant, still loved her baby to death but hoped that all things would work out.  After I miscarried she would have say the most insensitive things, at first I would just think, she's hormonal, or she's just not thinking about what what she's saying. Needless to say, her comments would make me cry. At times i thought I was being overly sensitive, but when somebody walks around rubbing their bulging belly and tells you that everything happens for a reason you can't help but get really angry! 

    All I can say in defense of these insensitive ladies is that I think that they must have been so thrilled with their little bundles of love, and most of them have never ever gone through the pain of loosing a baby that they don't know how to respond. Their way of "relating" is saying things that they've probably heard someone else say...not that it makes them right, but I've miscarried three times and believe it I've heard it all..."God doesn't want you to have a baby yet, so just stop" "Why do you keep on trying, obviously it isn't working" "We'rent you pregnant, what happened, did you have an abortion" or the best "It all happens for a reason, besides you can just get back on the horse and keep on trying"...

    All i can really do is pray for patience and understanding of people that obviously don't understand me.

    I'm sorry for your loss, know that we are all here for you and understand your pain.

    God Bless,

    -Leyda 

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  • betizzle73betizzle73
    That doesn't even make sense. She doesn't sound like a very sensitive person! It's probably a good thing that you guys aren't close anymore! I'm sorry you had a rough day yesterday, I hope today is much better!!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • shouldbworkinshouldbworkin
    I'm sorry, there is no excuse or defense for that behavior.  They are smug and inviting bad karma into their lives.  Being PG and having a new baby does not excuse you from having common deceny and being sensitive to other's feelings.
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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  • elizabeth&jameselizabeth&james
    Blech. I'm trying to imagine what exactly one would think "not trying so hard" would look like exactly... and what she could imagine that would have to do with anything that happened to you anyway. Grr. I think you're busy/have a cold/are out of town the weekend of her shower.
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  • AbbneyAbbney member
    I know its mean to say, I have a friend in her 30th week and her 4D US is her profile pic on FB and all she can talk about is little Marshall Roger and how wonderfully complete their family will be once he makes his arrival.  But I just cant help but wish colic, or cronic ear infections and eventually a stint in Juvie Hall when he turns 12 or something like that...it makes me feel a little better but when I realize what I am ACTUALLY thinking I feel guilty all over again.  I think pg women are 100,000,000x worse than Bridezillas.
    {\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252 {\fonttbl\f0\fswiss\fcharset0 Helvetica;} {\colortbl;\red255\green255\blue255;\red51\green51\blue51;\red255\green255\blue255;} \deftab720 \pard\pardeftab720\sl280\partightenfactor0 \f0\fs22 \cf2 \cb3 \expnd0\expndtw0\kerning0 \outl0\strokewidth0 \strokec2 IAmPregnant Ticker}
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  • jerriesgirljerriesgirl
    Ugh!  With friends like that, who needs enemies?
    My Blog
    We love and miss you Jillian (18w) and Peanut (6w). Welcome to our TAC miracle Jacob!
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  • jamilynn9jamilynn9 member
    F her!  I had someone say "It will happen.  Don't stress about it."  The "You're so young. You have time" comment kills me.
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker Every night I prayed for you. Then when you were in my belly, I prayed harder. Now that you're in my arms, I pray even harder.
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  • anonomityanonomity
    Ugh, I'm sorry.  Want me to hold her while you punch?
    TTC since January 2010
    BFP 5/9/10. U/S - no heartbeat 6/2/10 (7 weeks). Induced miscarriage 6/7/10.
    Chemical pregnancies 12/2/10, 1/3/11, and 2/7/11.
    dx: RPL due to poor quality uterine lining; begin progesterone January 2011
    BFP 3/10/11. EDD 11/19/11. E arrived 11/15/11!

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  • auburn76chicauburn76chic
    I'm sorry. Some people don't know how to act.
    My Blog PM me to read my blog BFP 12/22/09 natural m/c 2/20/10 12 weeks 1 day Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • liveforhimliveforhim member

    ah and this is why i love you ladies so much...you feel my pain and have heard all of the insensitivity some people can give...you all made my day and I'm so sorry for everyone that had to hear the same kinds of things that i did...they just don't know what it feels like, that's what I keep telling myself:)

    Thanks for cheering me up:)

    So excited for our little blessing:)
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