Parenting

Vent: Please just stop saying

"He will eat when he is hungry", "You just need to feed him", "He looks fine".  Well, if he were fine, if he ate when he was hungry, if I could "just feed him", then I would not be taking him to the GI specialist for malnutrition, now would I? 

Yes, I am worried about my son, but I cannot pry his jaws apart and force him to eat.  I know people are just trying to be helpful. 

 

Re: Vent: Please just stop saying

  • Sorry, JOE.  I hope you get some answers.
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  • (((hugs))) So sorry Joe.  We went through all those comments too.  I usually just did the smile and nod but when pushed used the "it is complicated so we're seeing a specialist." 
    .
  • I'm sorry.  I totally feel your pain on this one.  I spent 2 years freaking out about dd's weight and eating habits.  I constant got "she'll eat when she's hungry" and "she is too small to eat that much, that's all".  It doesn't help you NOT worry. 

    How big is your ds?

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  • imagemlm1128:

    I'm sorry.  I totally feel your pain on this one.  I spent 2 years freaking out about dd's weight and eating habits.  I constant got "she'll eat when she's hungry" and "she is too small to eat that much, that's all".  It doesn't help you NOT worry. 

    How big is your ds?

    He is 20 p 4 oz (the very bottom of the chart) and 60-75% for height.   He is not getting the nutrition he needs and his blood work is proving that out.

  • He's way bigger than dd was at that age (she barely cracked 20 lbs at 2), but our doctor never did any blood work.  And I tried and tried.  At least you hvae someone taking you seriously so you can do what ever you can.  Is it possible he has food allergies or celiac or something?  I know my vitamin levels were horrendous before I stopped gluten.  It totally sucks.  I always felt like I was starving her.  I got used to her tiny stature by the time she was 2.  Now she's 4 1/2 and not yet 35 lbs. But she does keep growing!
  • Sorry you are going thru this and having to deal with people's annying comments.  I know how that is because my ds is 5 years old and I still hear them.  "how old is he"?  "he is so small"   Of course the one that really hurts is, "are they twins" referring to ds and my dd who at 2 years younger is only a couple pounds and inches away from him.  He is a twin, just not her twin. 

    I hate it because no matter what explanation you give people, some of them just don't back down.  Try to ignore them the best you can...even though you want to scream at them.

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  • ZenyaZenya member
    Did your DD have conclusive testing for celiac?  (I think it's a biopsy?).  I know you're talking about your DS here but seeing as you've been through this with her I was just thinking about it.
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  • DD was 20 lbs until 2 years old.

    It has to get so frustrating. Just know that you are doing everything you can do for him and try to blow off the comments.

    Tell people it's not a big deal and move on. Even though the doctor's are doing tests, they don't need to know that.

  • imagemlm1128:
    He's way bigger than dd was at that age (she barely cracked 20 lbs at 2), but our doctor never did any blood work.  And I tried and tried.  At least you hvae someone taking you seriously so you can do what ever you can.  Is it possible he has food allergies or celiac or something?  I know my vitamin levels were horrendous before I stopped gluten.  It totally sucks.  I always felt like I was starving her.  I got used to her tiny stature by the time she was 2.  Now she's 4 1/2 and not yet 35 lbs. But she does keep growing!

    The weight chart for boys and girls is different.  My DD was 20 pounds at 2 years old too, which was not on the chart, but she was short, so her height to weight was actually better than DS's.  

    He is also pretty tall, about 31.5 to 32 inches.  

    DD was tested for Celiac.  DS has not been yet (we go to GI in 3 weeks).  Our ped is married to a good friend of my DH's and a friend in her own right.  They have been friends for almost 20 years, so they know us well, and are probably overly  concerned, otherwise, she might have waited on the blood panels until 18 months.   I am greatful that they know we are not some sort of crazies who don't feed their kids.  

    I really hope that DS doesn't have celiac because bread and banana is the only thing he will eat!  

    Now that DD is 4, she is doing well.  10% for weight and 15% for height, which is fabulous, still shorter than what they would expect, but perfectly healthy.  She still gets a lot of her calories from purees, but that is ok.  

  • That must be so frustrating.

    If you don't mind me asking, what is it that prompted your concern and the subsequent blood work? Was it FTT, feeding issues, both, something entirely different...?

    I ask because, as I'm sure you already know, my two kids are equally as scrawny (dd is almost 2.5 and just now hit 20 lbs., ds is 5.5 and maybe 32 lbs. soaking wet.) They're both short and very skinny. Ds had blood work done as a toddler but it was all fine and we never did anything else. Dd had a ton of blood work, allergy testing, met with a specialist and more but they never really found anything significant with her either. Both of my kids eat like birds though. They're not particularly picky and eat a good variety, they just eat tiny quantities. FWIW though, the blood work that specifically tested for malnutrition was fine.

  • My oldest DD was 17.14 at her one year visit.  The doctor never batted an eye.  She was 95% for height and I think 40 for weight (although I might be off on that).  She is an adult now and weighs at whopping 135 and is 5'8".  She was born 3 hours before her due date and weighed 7.5.  Breast fed for 4 months and then formula until she was 9 months...went to whole milk from there and most table foods.  She was not a picky eater so I never gave her weight a thought.   The pedi never requested blood work.
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