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Working Moms
How do you think your children will benefit from having a WM?
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Re: How do you think your children will benefit from having a WM?
Um, having a roof over his head?
Just kidding (sort of)...
Increased social skills from being around other children from a young age...I feel like he will be better prepared for a school environment having been in a structured daycare setting, he benefits from having a happy mom (I like working), I think it's good seeing both mom and dad contributing to the household financially...
They will have a strong role model and know they can do anything they want with their lives. DD will see it is possible to "have it all", so to speak. They will learn to be adaptable, independent, and self-sufficient, and to rely on their own judgment. All of these things can be taught with a SAHM as well, I just think having both parents out of the home sort of forces it. They will also learn to socialize with others from an early age and to feel comfortable with other people when mommy and daddy aren't around.
Also financial security. Because without my job I would be much more stressed about finances.
I think my guys will grow up in a happy family knowing their mother loves them immensely and also has an important, facinating job where she helps others.
We would be on a tight budget if I stayed at home. So, I hope this doesn't sound bad, but LO will have a nicer life and calmer parents with us both working. Don't get me wrong, I would stay home with LO in a flash if it made any financial sense for us at all. But, it doesn't. I'd rather show my child financial responsibilty than stressed out, overly budgeted & heavily in debt parents.
Additionally, daycare will likely provide LO with more structured play, which will help with his development, than I would be able to if I stayed at home with him.
If I am working when LO is older, I am excited to show him where I work, what I do, etc. It is important for children to see other occupations besides the ones featured in books - doctors, nurses, firefighters, police officers, etc. Those of with "boring cube" jobs have interesting days, too! Well...sometimes!
I would agree with all of the PPs.
In addition I think it's important for my children to see that I had dreams and goals growing up and nothing stopped me from achieving them. Both my DH and I love our jobs and I think doing something you love is important and helps make the family happy. My parents always stressed education to me as well and I will do the same. I'm glad my kids will get to see me continue to grow mentally, emotionally and just as a person and as a contributing citizen. I hope to inspire them to have dreams, chase them and to never stop learning the way my parents did me.
I agree with everyone above and the only one I will add to that is that we we can afford the activities that they want to participate in (dance, gymnastics etc.) and take vacations that will expose them to new places and experiences. Of course this can also be true in households where one parent is home, but I find in my personal circle of friends, the dual income families travel more, eat out more and their kids can do more activities without monetary worries.
I think it's nice to have a balance of eating in and cooking together but also going out to eat. The 'other' activities are teaching great social and listening skills and exposing my DD to independence.
And the best thing of all... we never argue about money.
Well, we'll have enough money to pay for things she will need, obviously.
I remember going to preschool (my mom SAH but sent us a few days a week to get a break - with twins and a daughter six years old, who could blame her) and we LOVED "little school." I had friends and great toys to play with and nice teachers, and I really learned a lot.
Also, hopefully she'll see mom and dad taking on an equal partnership as far as finances, housework, childcare, etc.
If my husband's business takes off, I'd love to SAH, but if that doesn't happen, that's ok. When she goes to school, I'd want to work anyway because I'd get bored at home.
This x 100. Also, I think he'll appreciate me actually putting money towards my retirement, ect.
And being able to take care of ear infections at home isn't too bad
This!
I wouldn't beat yourself up over this, some moms have to work (like myself, though I would prefer to stay home) because of financial reasons, some choose to work... either way, it is a personal decision and people are going to give you grief one way or another.
If your child is in day care, they are learning social skills, becoming more independent and building that immune system, they are also learning! If they are not in a daycare with other children, hopefully whoever is watching them is engaging them in activity and they are still learning, etc.
I personally feel that the time you spend with your child when you are home is important, make every minute worth it! I worked at a play school for 3 years and there were some children there just a few hours a day to give mom a break and prepare them for school and other kids were there for 50 hours a week and then I was hired to sit for them on the weekends, which I didn't agree with. You still need to raise your child but you can do a great job at that whether you are working or staying home... just make every moment you have with your child special!
lol...this was my first thought too
He already has a much happier mom who enjoys every second with him, instead of a grouchy, bored, miserable SAH mom (which is what I was after he turned 1). I know he will see how much I love to work, which will give him a positive view on working, and a desire to do something he loves. We will have more money to take him around the world with us, and to send him to whatever college he wants.
Even though we were living off my H's salary comfortably, I am such a better mom when I am working. I know he can sense it, and my H loves how my mood has improved greatly. To me, that is the best thing I could give my son: a happy, well-balanced mother.
I agree that the college fund is a big one. I didn't have to pay for college thanks to my parents and it made my early 20's so much easier. I didn't have to pay off student loans and I was able to save up a lot of money so when the time came to buy a house I had the down payment.
I want to give my children the same gift because education is incredibly important to us and I don't want my children to worry about paying off loans if I can do it for them.
I will add that when I was growing up and my Mom worked, I think it helped to develop a stronger relationship with my Dad. My Mom had alot of evening meetings and needed to travel either for the day or overnight. I have great memories of my Dad and I together just the 2 of us & we are really close. I hope that my daughter has this same benefit.
I also agree that I want her to see a strong role model, have a comfortable life and I love what she learns at daycare in addition to the people we have both met.
She'll go to the best schools, have her college paid for, and probably her wedding paid for her too. We'll take amazing vacations that allow her to see the world. She'll get to spend quality time w/ her grandparents w/o us around who dote on her every chance they get (they're not her ft caregivers- all of them prefer it this way) and she'll grow up in a nice house. I realize a lot of this might sound materialistic but... it's all true.
Although, I'd quit in a nanosecond to be a SAHW (& still send her to her school PT) if we won the lottery ; )
ya know, Carson asked me this morning where I was going and I paused for a second and thought.....it really makes me proud to know that some day he will understand that mom went to work and busted her butt to provide for him and our family (along with daddy too!) and I hope he finds a girl someday (A LONG TIME FROM NOW, LOL!) who has drive, and goals, and would be willing to bust her butt for her family too........whether she has to or wants to.......same goes for him. I think having a working mom in the family brings a special dynamic to the family circle.....one that i am very proud of!
ITA. I really love the balance working brings to our relationship and parenting responsibilities.
Many things!
$$ - Financially secure with home/food, enough extra to travel, $$$ for college so that they are not stuck with $600/month college bills like i am
Social interaction - loves playing with other kids at daycare. Gets attention from loving daycare people who really do a great job with her.
Mommy/Daddy interaction - when not at work it is 100% about DD. I am a huge runner - now I just take her in the BOB and stop at the swings midway through. She loves it! I find that I make so much more of my time quality time (no tv, playing with her, etc) then I did while I was on maternity leave.
Mommy gets out of the house and puts on something other then sweats. lol. confidence? :-)
Even better, if all goes as planned, both my husband and I will be able to afford to negotiate summer vacations off from work, unpaid, by the time Liam is school aged. For me, having BOTH parents be able to do this every year, plus have vacations throughout the year, is better than just having one parent be home and have a tight budget. Financial freedom is a wonderful thing.
Totally. I actually snort laughed on this one.
DS benefits because I am happy, and DH is happy. So, DS is happy. Also, we have enough money to do the things we want to do and to save for the future. I also really like the idea that DS and DD will see that DH and I both are equal financial partners.
I know I said it tongue in cheek but seriously, my husband grew up in a house that was financially strapped - his dad didn't have a steady job (he was in sales) and it was a constant source of fighting in his house. His parents divorced when he was 15 and he no longer speaks to his dad. I once mentioned going back to school and my husband panicked. He is very worried about money so if for some reason I couldn't work, he would feel the need to work all the time to make up for it and he'd never see the kids which would make him totally resent me. Good thing that I actually like working and make a decent living. It's funny though - my friend who is a SAHM was complaining that her hubby is worried about money and his job and she really needs to stop spending (they literally have $0 in savings) and I said, I don't know what to tell because if I were in your shoes, I'd be divorced