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rayskit10
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How to help children navigate social struggles.
rayskit10
member
A friend of mine added this as as note on FB so I don't have the original blog or anything but the friend is a child psychologist so it might be some work related thing... ANyway, I thought it was interesting enough to share and I will see if I can get where it came from b/c looks like it might be interesting to follow... --------------------------------------- Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: 10 tips for parents who want to help their children navigate social struggles.A few days ago, in a post about teasing, I quoted from Michael Thompson's excellent book, Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
.In the book, Thompson includes a list of ten rules for parents who want to help their children manage their social lives. He discusses each point at greater length, of course, but I thought the list itself was very helpful.1. Don?t worry so much. Remember that you gave your child a social start in life. [Elsewhere, he reminds parents that we can't spare their children normal social pain; it's part of growing up.]2. Recognize the crucial difference between friendship and popularity. Friendship is more important. [Popularity is more about status than being well-liked.]3. Support your children?s friendships.4. Make your child?s friends welcome in your home.5. Be a good friendship role model and teacher.6. Provide a wide range of friendship and group opportunities.7. Make friends with the parents of your child?s friends (and enemies).8. Empathize with your child?s social pain, but keep it in perspective.9. Know where your child stands in the group. If your child is in trouble socially, step in to help. If you child is popular or accepted, help him or her be a positive moral leader. Don?t act like a middle schooler yourself. [Elsewhere, Thompson points out that parents often make things worse when they intervene, so don?t rush in.]10. Take the long view.What do you think of this list? Agree, disagree? Anything you'd add?
This Wednesday: 10 tips for parents who want to help their children navigate social struggles.A few days ago, in a post about teasing, I quoted from Michael Thompson's excellent book, Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children
.In the book, Thompson includes a list of ten rules for parents who want to help their children manage their social lives. He discusses each point at greater length, of course, but I thought the list itself was very helpful.1. Don?t worry so much. Remember that you gave your child a social start in life. [Elsewhere, he reminds parents that we can't spare their children normal social pain; it's part of growing up.]2. Recognize the crucial difference between friendship and popularity. Friendship is more important. [Popularity is more about status than being well-liked.]3. Support your children?s friendships.4. Make your child?s friends welcome in your home.5. Be a good friendship role model and teacher.6. Provide a wide range of friendship and group opportunities.7. Make friends with the parents of your child?s friends (and enemies).8. Empathize with your child?s social pain, but keep it in perspective.9. Know where your child stands in the group. If your child is in trouble socially, step in to help. If you child is popular or accepted, help him or her be a positive moral leader. Don?t act like a middle schooler yourself. [Elsewhere, Thompson points out that parents often make things worse when they intervene, so don?t rush in.]10. Take the long view.What do you think of this list? Agree, disagree? Anything you'd add? This discussion has been closed.
Re: How to help children navigate social struggles.
this..thanks for sharing! I'm always worry if Emmy will be picked on because her personality is kind of goofy/corky. But I guess it's my job as a parent to just be there for her and I can't always protect her from being emotionally hurt by others. Which as a parent, you never want to see your child hurt in anyway....So that's where my struggles are.
I remember last year, we were at the McD playground and there were 3 old kids playing (around 6-7 years old) and Emmy was 2 at the time. She loved chasing them and was laughing the entire time. She didn't know better that the kids were making fun of her and teasing her. DH was sooooo upset that his face got all red and I thought he was going to beat up either the kids or the kids' parents or something. I just pretty much explained to the kids that she's only 2 years old and that they need to take that into consideration...after that, the kids were a lot more kind to her and acted like her big bro/sis helping her climb and stuff. But I realize I can't always step in like that. =(