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Annoying forum post

mcmann05mcmann05 member
in Adoption

I just read something on my daycare forum and it is literally taking every bone in my body to not say something! While most people don't know postive adoption language this was just absurd.

A daycare provider is asking about an adopted child that is withdrawing from cocaine. That the baby is startling awake during nap and more so at night for the parents (side note, if you have any suggestions I can pass on).

One lady's response was "you need to talk to the person that is "acting" as mom.

Maybe I'm being way too sensitive but random people should know that that's not an acceptable comment. Another woman on there is an AP so I'm going to wait and see if she says anything.

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Re: Annoying forum post

  • mcmann05mcmann05 member

    As far as I know it's a baby already placed waiting for finalization. Apparently, in the state of Michigan daycare providers are not allowed to use blankets to swaddle so that's what the issue is. I already told her---soothing voices and carrying baby in a carrier as much as possible. I will pass on the rest you said.

     This was the exact comment, please note the spelling LOL, I'm so mean but the actual advice is not "bad" per se....just how she said the acting as mom thing annoyed me. ***You can use the swadeling sleeps sacks...at my orientation we were told we could use thouse just not blankets to swaddle...they are expensive like 25 but they are nice. I am in michigan as well. The other thing would be to ask the person acting as mom to get a doctors note so u can swaddle the baby to have on file...I would think based on what the ped knows he would do that.***

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  • mcmann05mcmann05 member
    The OP said that this child had been legally adopted in this condition...which I had to bite my tongue on as well but maybe I'm wrong and that is ok to say.
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  • kmkaull2kmkaull2 member
    Oh man, I would jump all over that and say something, lol. 
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  • crystalpopcorncrystalpopcorn member
    I would say something.
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  • jehnmjehnm
    I would say something too.   I've begun getting very creative in how I gently educate others about adoption. 
    TTC #1 since 12/07 SA 9/08=borderline normal HSG 1/09 found R tube blocked Multiple IUIs both with oral and injectible drugs from 2/09-2/11 Started domestic adoption process in 5/10, homestudy complete 9/10 Failed adoption after home with baby for 2 weeks 11/10 Blessed through the miracle of private adoption with a son, born 6/6/11 (his grandma's bday) 7lbs 9oz 20.5 inches long! So worth the wait!
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  • mcmann05mcmann05 member
    Haha ok, well I'm glad I am justified in being annoyed. MY problem is that I'm not always as tactful as I'd like to come across and then end up sounding like a B! 
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  • GLynn2009GLynn2009
    When DD first came home she would wake-up screaming like she was dying and she was 26 months old. I believe she was having some kind of reaction to being in a different enviroment and that she was truly scared to death when she woke up during the night. DD was also drug exposed and she would not let us hold her and comfort her like a normal 2 year old would. We have made great progress with these issues.
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