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Working Moms
alli2672
member
au pair...any experiences or advice?
alli2672
member
in Working Moms
We have a 2 year old and an 8 month old at a daycare center right now. To make a long story short, we really aren't thrilled with the daycare since our 2 year old changed rooms. We are thinking about getting an au pair. I have heard multiple friend of a friend stories about great experiences.
It seems like a great deal. I think that with the agency fee and paying our au pair it comes to about $15k/year. Even with additional expenses it would still be about the $25k/year we are paying right now for childcare.
I am worried about a) what if we don't like her, b) what if she doesn't like us, and c) trusting one person with my children.
Anyway, any experiences, advice etc would be appreciated.
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Re: au pair...any experiences or advice?
I have two friends that have used au pairs. The first did not like the girl at all. She has three children and the au pair could not control them at all (they used nannies in the past without issue). They ultimately worked out a deal with the au pair agency and their money was refunded. At that time, they could have opted for another au pair, but they didn't want to risk it and decided to get another nanny.
The other friend lives in my building and their au pair is from Japan. She's lovely. She watches two children (18 months apart) and I got to know her well while I was on leave. She takes excellent care of the children and the parents are very happy with her. Although they admit that having a new person living in their house does take some getting used to. I see a lot of positives to having a live-in, myself.
An au pair is essentially a foreign exchange student who lives in your house for a year. You need to pay a lot of their expenses as well (healthcare, food, transportation), so make sure you look at all of the costs carefully - I'm not so sure it's much cheaper than just hiring a nanny or using daycare. That said, it's an option we're considering when and if we move to the suburbs (we don't have the space to have a live-in at this point).
Hi Alli- As a former Au-Pair and now a working mom and also volunteer counselor with an Au-pair agency I can assure you that having an Au-Pair is a great way of getting reliable childcare that is affordable.
There are many agencies out there- I was an Au-Pair with Cultural Care and did not like the support the Agency provided when needed...
I now volunteer for EurAuPair...
Overall fees run at about $7000 for the year- you have one stiff payment due for the inital placement, but most don;t currently charge for application fees (usually $350)...and if you say that you've previously hosted an Au-Pair with another Agency many Agencies' will give you a repeat family discount.
You can look at the girls profiles online and call them (I recommend Skype)
When you talk to them keep in mind they know nothing about you- so feel around what age/ gender they'd prefer to be around...before you tell them anything about your family. If they want older kids you know to move on...
Also- try looking for the girls that have done University or Job training in their home countries- they are generally more motivated.
e-mail me on my profile if you want the true ups and downs and pro's and con's of having an Au-Pair- I;d be happy to chat with you about it too.
I was strongly considering getting an au pair and realized that it would not work for my family.
We will have 3 kids under 3 in August. (DD is 2 and a half, DS is 1 and a half and new baby in August).
We have the space for someone else to live with us but I was not convinced that a 24 yr old girl could take care of my 3 kids. The ages are 18-24 or 26 for some agencies. IMO, that is not mature enough.
ITA. I think au pairs are great for school-age kids who can tell you if the au pair is terrible. I would not feel comfortable leaving my young kids/babies with someone so young and with such limited experience.
I answered a similiar post on this board a while back. My family went through 5 au pairs growing up (I was in elementary school, my brother was an infant). 1 was great and stayed a whole year. Another was OK and stayed a whole year. 2 were competant, but had other issues (homesickness, bored in our small town, etc.) and left after a few months. 1 was a total mess (personal issues, wrecked our car, ruined a pan heating up leg wax, small kitchen fire with a dishtowel, left my then-toddler brother alone while she ran an errand). She left after a month or so.
That was more than 20 yrs ago, so I'm sure a lot has changed. I guess my point is that it's very hit or miss!
We are currently on our 2nd au pair. Our first arrived when DD was 10 weeks old b/c I had to return to work. She was AM.AZ.ING. I still miss her terribly and know my DD does as well. She was an incredible caretaker for our daughter and became a member of our family.
Our 2nd au pair is pretty good. DD seems to like her a lot, but it's very different than the first (as is taking care of an 18 mos old vs. a newborn infant). The most important thing is that we trust her with our child ... everything else, like never refilling the Brita filter!, is just nonsense in the grand scheme of things.
I think it's a great arrangement if it works for your family -- ie., you have the right set-up in your home, you don't mind someone living with you, it's the right personality match. The flexibility is amazing and the overall cost - when compared with a nanny or daycare - is very reasonable. We will continue to do an au pair arrangement as long as our family needs require it.
I'm happy to discuss more. Send me a PM if you want to chat further.