How to not invite parents of kids?

august06mom · June 2010

I want to have a birthday party for DS and his classmates, but I don't really want to invite the parents. There are about 16 kids in his class, and if we invite the parents, that adds another 32 people. (I know both parents of each kid won't show up, but you never know.) That is just way too many people than I want to have. Is there a way to just invite the kids to be dropped off for the party or is this rude? I don't ever remember my parents coming to birthday parties with me, but maybe I was older.

DS will be turning 4 and the party will be at our house.

~Kat~ · June 2010

On the invite you could specify a drop off time and a pick up time. Hopefully parents would understand that you intend for just the child to come. I would still plan on a few parents staying though, just in case.

shouldbworkin · June 2010

I think that most parents of 4 y/os won't be ok with a drop off party. Can you have the party at a different time of day so you don't have to feed everyone a meal and can just do snacks/cake/ice cream? Can you have it outside?

august06mom · June 2010

It's not really feeding everyone that I mind. We just don't have the space for that many people -- inside or out. And if it rains, forget about it. People will be crammed like sardines.

elm1032004 · June 2010

I agree, I wouldn't be ok with just dropping off the kids at 4 years old unless I knew the birthday kids parents really well. That isn't always the case with classmates. I would consider only inviting a few of the kids that my DD was good friends with or being prepared for a large number of the parents staying anyway.

karen6784 · June 2010

Can you rent a local park or rec center?

EliseB0323 · June 2010

So most of the kids are going to be 3 or 4? I think that's too young for a drop-off party.

I would invite fewer kids or have the party in a bigger venue.

Zenya · June 2010

I would not be comfortable with that! 2 parents (probably distracted parents at that) watching 16 four year olds? No way. Smaller party, different location.

soontobemomma · June 2010

I wouldn't be comfortable dropping off my 4 yo at a birthday party with mass chaos going on (10 or more kids), especially if I didn't know the parents. How would you know how much supervision, etc.

becoming_untied · June 2010

I can totally understand not wanting to cram that many people into a small place, or for not wanting to shell out the money for so many people or a larger venue. That being said, I would not drop off my 4 year old to a party. Heck, we rarely go to parties that don't invite our entire family of 4. We both work fulltime and we don't all see eachother enough as it is.

DevonPow · June 2010

I agree that I wouldn't be comfortable dropping off DS at a party at age at 4, even if it was a close friend and there weren't that many kids.

august06mom · June 2010

OK, good to know. I guess we'll have to scrap that idea. We were going to have family there so there would be more adults than just DH and I, but I understand about people not being comfortable with families they don't know.

I'd like to invite just a few of DS's friends from school, but I could never not invite the whole class. And, unfortunately, all of his friends are from school.

Oh well. We'll have to think of something else.

elm1032004 · June 2010

I would invite his few friends from school. If you know the parents outside of school send the invitation that way.

Dimplz · June 2010

Like the PP said, call the people you want to invite and do it that way instead of having DS pass out invitations at school.

Angela814 · June 2010

Besides not feeling comfortable with a drop off party for a 4yo, I know my DD would not be comfortable with that either. She still gets overwhelmed when I drop her off at daycare and there's a lot going on. She'd never let me leave the party, or she'd end up coming home with me.

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