2nd+ time moms

la79al · June 2010

The post below got me thinking. What are you doing with LO when you go into labor? I feel totally naive because the entire labor and delivery process with DD was 4 hours. Not once did I become one of those screaming women you see on TV and I had no desire to kick anyone out. That being said, I really have a feeling I will be taking DD along to the hospital with me. I have 3 people that I would feel comfortable leaving her with and they are all supposed to be in the room during delivery, but of course who knows when/if they will show up. The hospital is 45 minutes from our house. My mom is an hour from our house so probably 2 hours from the hospital, assuming she can leave the second I call her. My sister is also 2 hours from the hospital but probably closer to 3 if she is at work (and we don't know if she will be able to just leave). My husband could be working up to 3 hours from the hospital but could leave work 15 minutes after I call him. If I left DD with anyone else, I would be more upset/worried about her than I would if she were in the room watching me give birth. Ideally, all 3 would meet me at the hospital and could take turns keeping DD entertained during labor and worse case scenerio, 1 of them shows up and watches DD during labor and brings her back in during delivery. I guess I am just panicking because things went so fast with DD (mom was already half way to our house and DH was only halfway to work or they might have both missed it) and then there are limited people to watch DD. I wish EDD was more of a guarantee. I am going to talk to my dr about this tomorrow but their response when I was pregnant with DD and mentioned that I was worried about making it to the hospital in time was that they would induce me. Sorry this is so long. I really feel like this is one thing that I can't plan/organize/get ready for and it's driving me crazy.

lms_bride · June 2010

Our hospital, fortunately, is about 5-10 minutes away. My husband is already working at home in anticipation of labor soon (fingers crossed). When the times comes to go to the hospital, we're calling my SIL who is going to come to our house and watch our son (she lives 5 min away and works 15 min away). We have bags/PNP packed for him and she will take him to their house if need-be. My parents live 6 hrs away but will get on the road as soon as they can once we go to the hospital. Once they arrive into town, they will take over taking care of our son and retrieve him from my SIL. So between SIL and my parents, I think we are covered.

Personally, I would not be comfortable with my plan being to take my child to the hospital. It would be a last-resort for me. It sounds like most of your family is spread out, but maybe there is a close neighbor or friend who could help out, just until your mom or sister arrive? Why are you so worried about your daughter being watched by someone else?

jennya1113 · June 2010

I have the same concerns, this is really the only thing I'm stressing over. I am going to leave DD with my mom at my house, however my mom lives 8 hours away, so obviously this takes some advanced planning. My last labor was 22 hours so I'm not as worried about going too fast, but I'm such a planner and I hate not knowing when the baby will come!!

rynhales · June 2010

My friend will come here to be with her and then our families (Inlaws and my gram) will drive up from IN to stay with her while we are in the hospital.

dnagal · June 2010

I hear you. I keep thinking that since I was in labor for 36 hours with DD, that I'll have enough warning to make sure that my parents get to us in time to take her. I think we'd play it by ear in terms of having her at the hospital or not. I know my parents want to be at the hospital, and I imagine them all in the waiting room while I push.

But thanks for the reminder--I just emailed DD's best friend's mom to see if they'd be a "backup plan" for us!

miketaylor · June 2010

My absolutely awesome babysitter/family friend will take her no matter what time of day or night I go to the hospital. She has been watching kids in her home for 25 years, and has done this numerous times for other mommies. She and her husband have also driven kids to the hospital to meet their new siblings. they are fabulous people. I am SO blessed.

la79al · June 2010

lms_bride:

It sounds like most of your family is spread out, but maybe there is a close neighbor or friend who could help out, just until your mom or sister arrive? Why are you so worried about your daughter being watched by someone else?

DD has never been watched by anyone other than my mom or DH and even then has only been a few hours at a time. She just recently started STTN on a semi regular basis and stopped nursing to sleep so she has never done overnights with anyone. We really don't have any family that is close enough and competant enough, that she has seen often enough for it to really work out. A woman from our church has offered to watch her but her EDD is less than a week before mine and she has a toddler and a preschooler so I think she is out. I do have one friend with a DD the same age as mine that I might talk to. DD doesn't really know her that well but I do trust her and the girls play together well so at least that will be a distraction.

dvilga · June 2010

Just lurking, but we are in the same boat. All family and "trusted" friends live 8+ hours away. My MIL is suppose to come down 2 weeks before my EDD but I went 3 weeks early with #2 and 4 weeks early with #3, so I am hoping she comes closer to the EDD, but I am having doubts. We are new to the area, and I have trust issues when it comes to my kids. You just never know and I hear so many terrible stories, that it is hard for me to just allow someone into my home, no matter how well i think I know them. I think our plan is to take the kids with us, and hope that MIL can get a flight out ASAP once I begin labor, so she can take the kids. I don't need anyone but DH in the room with me, but if you have you mom and SIL as options, you may want to think about them taking her while you are actually delivering.

CoastieWife08 · June 2010

We have a list of friends that we can call to come over and watch DD.

DH is coming home at night this time so he can be with her and put her to bed. DD isn't the world's best sleeper, and I'd honestly feel better knowing DH was with her at night. I'm going to miss him like crazy at night, though.

The only way he'd be staying with me and we wouldn't use a friend is if, by some miracle, I go into labor Saturday night. My mom is coming down this weekend for my shower and she'd just stay an extra day or two if I happened to go into labor.

Brookie-Cookie · June 2010

My MIL will come up. She's ready for the call. She is 2 hours away though so if there is an emergency and we can't wait we'll bring him to the hospital with us and my Mom will watch him/bring him home and if it is during the day he'll stay with a neighbour until MIL can get here. Or my Aunt and cousin live about 5 minutes from me aswell.

You need to find arrangements for her. Will your hospital even allow her to be there?

kcox123 · June 2010

There's not a neighbor or ANYONE you could leave her with (either at their home or yours) for a few hours while grandma comes to get her?

We have a good friend who lives about 5 min away who will come in the middle of the night if needed - she came and stayed with our oldest while we had #2 in the middle of the night. Her kids go to the same DC as ours so she could even drop our kids off the next morning if needed... In the off chance she wasn't available (on vacation or something) we are pretty good friends with our neighbors down the street and I'd call her to come stay at our house (or we could take our girls there if her husband was traveling for work since she has 2 young kids of her own).

My 2nd came in 2 hours from first contraction to birth so I am planning to start heading out the door as quickly as possible this time... If it's evening and our kids are up and we can't get ahold of friends right away - we MIGHT take them with us and then have a friend come get them at the hospital but we would DEFINITELY not plan for them to be there for the delivery.

We don't have any family closer than 1.25 hours. But we are only 10 min from our hospital. My girls are 2 and 4.

I suggest you have at least 2 different people who you aren't expecting in the delivery room lined up to take care of her if needed.

wifeandmama · June 2010

That is hard. We are fortunate because we just bought a house that is a 5 minute walk from my sister's (and she has a bed for my son, if need be!) and my parents and grandparents are both about a 5 minute drive away. We're about 20 minutes from the hospital, so I'm not terribly concerned.

kcox123 · June 2010

Another poster reminded me that we did have DH go home and stay with DD the (2nd?) night we were there (we checked in after midnight the first night). We left in the middle of the night. He actually was able to go home to get her up and to daycare the next morning since my labor went so fast. Then he came back and spent the day with me. Then he picked her up from daycare and brought her to meet her new sister for the evening. Then he and DD #1 went home for the night and he put her to bed and then got her up and to school the next morning... I think I came home that day.. She didn't really miss any of her rourtines... We are hoping for the same this time around. If they push to induce me me due to my rapid previous labor - assuming I am already dilating etc.. I will probably take them up on it and schedule it during the week when my girls can go to daycare during the days... It's so much easier that way... Doesn't sound like you use DC though..

ougrad1 · June 2010

If I were you I would not want my little girl at the hospital while I was delivering. I would ask a neighbor to be on call and have your sister come to the house and wait with your toddler until after you deliver.

What if it's in the middle of the night? You don't want to wake the baby. You don't want her bothering the other ladies, crying and such in L&D. If I were trying to sleep in L&D and I heard a fussy 2 yr old I'd be out of my mind upset.

Do they even allow toddlers in L&D? Who has agreed I'to watch her while you're in the hospital. I'd have that person be the "go to" when you go into labor.

ETA-My MIL will stay with Emerson while I deliver (section) and will bring her to my house where my parents will be that afternoon. My parents will be with me during delivery. Then, that afternoon MIL will bring Emerson to my parents at my house so she can come see the babies.

Emerson will not come to the hospital until the day after I deliver the twins.

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