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Upstate NY Babies
DH's response to calling EI
"I don't want anyone coming here and digging in his little head"
Our ped said her son didn't talk until he was two...so he really wants to wait. I'll talk to the ped about it on Fri (against DH's wishes) and hopefully this one will say something different.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: DH's response to calling EI
m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
I am so sorry your DH said that. It must be super frustrating. For me, I usually throw those things at my DH and if he says no, I let a few days pass and approach the subject again. Usually he is much better the second time around. My DH didn't speak until he was 4 and no one could understand him through grade school because of troubles with his R and S sounds. It really made a big impact on him all through school. The school kept trying to push for speach therepy but his father said no way. To this day, speaking is hard for him. If you listen closely, you can hear her speaks very phonetically. Like he pronounces the R in iron and the l in salmon, and forget ever going to Auburn.
Do you think maybe it would help if your DH spent a little time with some other toddler the same age who is speaking more? Like a playdate while he is home with another 18 month old? Of course don't let him know there is an alternative motive.
It also sounds like he really doesn't know what would happen. Ty gets speech therepy and no one is 'getting in his little head'. They just play. But there are a few other things you have mentioned about E that makes it sound to me like you should really have an eval, not just the speech. They will do an intake interview and determine if they also want a teacher, occupational or physical therepist to attend the eval.
I totally get that....I wouldn't want to sit and just wait either. I like Cutemin's suggestion of a playdate with DH; does he have a chance to spend time around other toddlers?
OK. As a school psychologist (one of the people who would be doing the evaluation - they need to rule out other things), I'm a little offended. They will in no way "dig in his head". Actually, the activities they do for testing - you won't even know that that's what they're doing. Your son will see it as a bunch of fun games.
Put it to him like this - when he hurt is leg, it was OK to have doctors poke around to figure out what was wrong with it - why is it not OK to let someone figure out what's wrong with his speech?
DH didn't think it was a big deal with Elizabeth's sucking and tongue issues. The pedi said that she has seen the oral development issues that dd was having turn into speech delays later on in some kids. She said to wait and see, and that she had already made a note in her chart to watch for speech problems. At 7 months old when she still couldn't keep her tongue down to let a spoon of food in (and did this with bottles, while nursing, and while sucking her fingers), I called and started EI. DH takes the approach that if there is no treatment, there is no problem. But I take it, lets get this looked at and find ways to help her before there is a real problem.
So I called EI (against DH's wishes) and made the initial appt (with all the questions and paperwork) for a day he was at work. The lady thought dd needed at least an evaluation, but told me she would most likely be on the fence and not qualify at this point. I made the oral and speech therapist appt for when DH would be home so he could see. DH realized during that meeting that there are some things we needed to help her with. The tips she gave us has really helped with her development, and now her eating is normal. But it was good for DH to hear and see that what was going on was not normal, but that fixing it early will save us a potentially huge amount of work later on.
We were both very impressed and pleased with EI. I know it is hard when both parents are not on the same page with this. You don't want to make a problem where there isn't one, but if there is one, you don't want to wait. I hope you are able to both end up being happy about it with no regrets.
Our timeline:
Initial call over the phone to the first appt with the coordinator: about 1 week.
From then until the oral/speech therapist: 2 1/2 weeks (but she had some family thing going on and gave me the impression it usually happens earlier)
For what it is worth: I stressed about calling for the longest time bc of not being on the same page with dh. The more I brought it up, the more annoyed he got. But as soon as I made that first phone call to get it started, I felt nothing but relief and peace knowing that DH would get over it if he were mad at me, but that if DD needed help I was not holding off on it. Good luck!