- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Two Under 2
Sherriberry
member
Guilt about decision to BF
Sherriberry
member
in Two Under 2
I still haven't decided what I'm going to do about breastfeeding #2 and I'm feeling really guilty about it.
I tried with #1, and I only lasted 3 weeks. I was miserable and didn't enjoy it at all, but kept going because "breast is best".
I really can't see how I'll be happy BF #2, but I feel guilty for not giving it a real chance. I was very overwhelmed with it the first time around and I think with having #1 at home it will just add to the stress.
Is it worth the stress to BF for a couple weeks, or should I just go straight to the bottle?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Guilt about decision to BF
I had a similar experience with #1. Breastfeeding is a personal choice and it may not be for everyone. I had A LOT of guilt about choosing to not BF #2 at first. But in the end I have no regrets and he is happy and healthy as can be. Do whatever you feel it best for you and your family and not worry so much about outside pressures.
I am a huge BF advocate. Here is why:
1. It is difficult at first, but after a month or so is so much easier. No bottles to clean, etc. You can BF anytime, anywhere.
2. It is so much cheaper. Formula x 12 months = hundreds if not thousands of dollars. BF is free!
3. It is better for your recovery. Your tummy will slim down faster and you will burn off that extra baby fat that has accumulated due to your body getting ready to BF. When you do not BF that extra weight has to be burned off via exercise and strict diet (no fun).
Anyways, it is a personal decision, and I will hop off my soap box now
IMO you should at least give it a shot, that way if it doesn't work you know you at least tried. I agree with the PP that said it is easier to Breastfeed than bottle feed, especially when you are out and about with your other child. I BFed both of my girls, #1 for a full year, #2 for 10 months. With #1 I actually think it was easier to get started. I remember #2 being more painful in the first few weeks, but I stuck with it and by the time she was a month old things were going very smoothly. Good luck!
I didn't BF either of my children at all. I tried with #1, it didn't work, so I didn't try with #2. My babies are healthy and strong and I have no regrets at all! Do what is best for you and don't let anyone guilt you into changing your mind.
And I call BS on this:
I had no problem losing baby weight after DS, and my weight is coming off this time without dieting or doing much exercise. A lot of my BFing friends said they felt misled by statements like that and personally I think it's just something people use to try to "sell" BFing.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
I agree with this, and I BF DS at the beginning. BF did not help me to lose weight at all. I didn't lose a pound from BF (I lost most of the weight I gained just from giving birth). Not everyone drops weight from BF.
In response to the OP, I would not BF just because I cared what other people thought. I was not able to BF DS long term (DS was still signficantly under birth weight at 5 weeks old), and I'm going back and forth on whether or not to try BF this one. I enjoyed nursing DS and was heartbroken when I had to stop. BF is cheaper and of course it's excellent nutrition for LO (not that formula is the devil), but I think it might be more challenging while taking care of a 12.5 month old. Some find BF easier than FF, but I personally found FF a lot easier when I gave up BF. Maybe because I'm one of those people who was uncomfortable to NIP.
I think whether BFing helps you lose weight is part of your personal metabolism. I was STARVING the entire time I was BFing. I was eating A TON of food and still losing weight. I would eat 2 breakfasts, a huge lunch, snacks and dinner. But I know many women who hold on to weight while BFing or just don't find the pounds melting away like I did.
This is definitely one reason I will BF #2 (I loved eating whatever I wanted!), but certainly isn't what I expected when I started BF #1.
I think you should give it a shot. I struggled with #1, he was low birth weight, got formula at the hospital, and we just never got it together. I struggled to get him to latch even with the help of a LC and a nipple shield, and then pumped for 2 months, and then just could not keep it up. I had tremendous guilt when I stopped, as I really wanted to EBF.
I decided with #2 I'd give it the best shot I had and not beat myself up if it did not work. We had to use a shield for the first 3 months, but it's been 6 and he's a breastfeeding champ. I had much better hospital support, and my kiddo took to it much better then his brother. I wore my little guy a ton, and it was so great to be able to feed him in the sling while I was reading to his brother.
My older son was 15 months old when #2 was born, I had to break my no TV before 3 plan, and Sesame Street was a huge help while feeding his brother especially the first couple of months. Since I have done it both ways, I find breastfeeding much much easier, and less hassle. You never know, it may go much better then you think, that's what happened to me. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
I had a terrible time BFing DD. I had supply issues and after a few weeks I would spend 45 min. BFing (or so I thought) but she would be screaming cuz she was still hungry. I pumped a lot then bottlefed BM which worked better for me, in addition to BFing and supplementing with formula. My crappy boobs dried up after 10 weeks but I still felt like I should be BFing so I tried for another week or so, just to have to give her formula every time. I felt so guilty about switching to all formula at first, but DD and I started getting along MUCH better when I did so it was the best decision for all of us.
Anyway, I will try to BF #2 but if it doesn't work out, that's okay and I hope to not feel as guilty as I did with DD. It really helped us, much less crying on both our parts once I just gave in tho the formula,.
For those with BFing issues, BFing is NOT free. I spent money on lactation consultants and two pumps. And the $$ we spend on formula was well worth easing the stress for DD and me. We buy BJ's formula which is sooo much cheaper than Enfamil or other brands, so FFing really isn't expensive IMO. For those with supply issues, it doesn't get easier after a month or so, it gets worse as your supply dips and your and your baby's frustration grows.
I wish BFing worked for me like it does for so many other moms, but it just didn't and while I'm giving it another shot with #2, I totally understand if you or any other mom would choose not try after struggling with your first child. Don't let BFing bullies make you feel bad if you choose not to do it - you need to do what's best for you and your baby, and sometimes that is FF.
I BF ds til 13 months, but had issues for 11 wks. Soreness, pain, cuts etc.
this time I had soreness for a week or so, thats it. so there is hope!
I would try for at least a wk or so.