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What do you think? Long

colonialbridecolonialbride member
in Blended Families

My husband and his ex currently have joint custody of their DD with the child staying with BM most of the time. He gets to see his daughter every T and TH from 5:30-7:30 and then every other weekend from 5 on F to 9am Sun (because the HAVE to go to her church-even thought they rarely go). Last year they went to court to change summer visitation and after all they went through, the judge ordered one schedule for that summer and stated how it would change for Summer '10, however he did not put it in the papers, and so the BM is acting like he never ordered it even though all of the lawyers and the GAL remember what he said. 

So, basically she doesn't want my husband to have his DD for more than 9 days this summer (separated into to 4.5 day periods). She won't even extend the T and TR 2 hours to anything more for summer.

Is this normal behavior for an Ex or is she being uterly ridiculous? TIA for advice!

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Re: What do you think? Long

  • NikkiJ19NikkiJ19
    It's normal for DH's ex and uterly ridiculous!!!
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  • ambrvanambrvan member

    If the court ordered it, then why was it never put in the papers?

    I don't know why I even ask. My FI and BM (until we recently went to court and gained full custody of SD) never had papers drawn up stating they had 50/50 visitation and joint custody and no child support. Even though they went to court over child support when SD was a baby and the judge ordered no CS, it was never put on file.

    We learned from the mistakes that he made back then, EVERYTHING MUST BE ON PAPER and FILED WITH THE COURTS. Otherwise, you end up with one HUGE headache.

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  • sweetie0228sweetie0228 member

    not in court papers=never happened and can't be enforced

    sorry, your BSC BM is legally within her rights to go by the letter of the the written court order.  Her/YH's job is to follow the CO not interprete the spirit of the meaning.

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  • IlumineIlumine member
    Go back to court. 
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  • DREWLILYDREWLILY
    imagesweetie0228:

    not in court papers=never happened and can't be enforced

    That's not exactly true (for the most part it is but not always). We had a hearing last year where the judge ruled on a small portion of our situation but reserved his decision until we came to trial for our full case. So technically it was not court ordered, but it was the judge's ruling. Our lawyer made sure it was at least entered into the court records so it could be addressed again at trial, whenever we get there. BM was still expected to abide by the judge's ruling, although she did not of course, but she'll have to answer for that at our main trial.

    Go back to court and get this settled. Even if she is within her rights, the judge wants to see parents working together and wants to see that they are each interested in fostering a bond and relationship with the child and the other parent. This BM is not doing that by not letting your DH have his child for any other time than the very limited amount in the CO.

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  • colonialbridecolonialbride member
    Thanks for all your responses! We will be going back to court, and hopefully since the lawyers and the GAL all have in their records what was originally supposed to go in the order, the judge will be quick to rule in DH's favor.
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  • MrsBPOMrsBPO member
    Go back to court and see if there is a copy of the transcript of the hearing.  If so, get a copy of the transcript so you at least have a paper trail and record of what should be occurring.

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